I have fought my weight problem all my life-compulsive overeating. And of course, alot of it is from stress. I entered a diploma program in the fall of 1965 after a summer where I lost 50 pounds using hypmosis. Came from a family where your appearancce was of paramount importance. My mom was a trophy wife who atched her weight closely. She was exercising before Jack Lalaine was , I think haha.
I do remember in nursing school being picked to demonstrate different positioning. I was in a hospital bed and it was an arena type setting =rows went up. I was put in some of the wierdest positions in fromt of all those classmates and was humiliated to say the lease.
I think you realy have to learn to deal with stress, and it is no secret, nursing is a stressor. After 38 years,I am one of the disabled. I will post my story one of these days. The suggestion of meditation is great. Any form of exercise melts away stress. Yoga,tai chi. Biofeedback is a wonderful alternative. You can buy audio hypnosis tapes which help with stress. There is a stress reduction program that is always advertizing on TV I think it is overcoming stress, which I have thought of ordering.
I have to say, despite my size, I have really not been aware of alot of discrimination. I have held management and charge positions. I think my personality helped alot. Due to some childhood issues I treat everyone I meet with dignity and respect so I think that holds down on some of the comments. I do not remember any patient ever remarking on my size. I am especially attuned to the large overweight patients that are made fun of. Yes, they helped me along to become disabled, but they were so thankful, for the most part for anything you did for them.
I think as your confidence grows, your anxiety will wane somewhat. But it is a fact of life that nursing is a very hard profession both physically and emotionally.
If you have a support group I would recommend keep going or join, as there is nothing like a group of people with similiar problems where someone may say something that will help you alot.
good luck in your career choice. I think emotionally injured people flock to the helping professions. I have a yonng niece who is bulemic and went through a treatment program and is now home and restarting college. She still has days where she stays in bed and will not answer the phone= life is just so hard sometimes. She is the sweetest child you could ever meet-her parents divorced when she was barely 6 and her mom kind of went crazy for awhile dating around and other things. Any way, she wants to go into a Helping field. I wish her the best and just want to cry this will be a life long struggle for her. She got her a puppy not to long ago and it has made a big difference-unconditional love!!!
Bye for now and keep us posted how you are doing. 68RN