Mom needs advice please!!!

Nurses General Nursing

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Hello,

Any advice would be helpful. My daughter is 17 years old and was homeschooled. She went ahead and took her GED and did well. She has wanted to be a nurse for many many years. She was unable at this age to enter an RN program and to be honest as her parent did I feel she was ready. We instead allowed her to enter a LPN program. There were 3 in our area to choose from. We decided to choose the smaller program feeling she would be better off. I wish I had done my homework on the programs but I had no idea each had its own rules. My husband and I are paying cash for her program. This has been hard but we do whatever it takes to help our children. The first payment was 2500.00 dollars. We have another payment due in December and the last one in June. I felt the need to explain all of this before I explained the problem. Our daughter Laura performs well on fill in the blank tests but struggles with Multiple Choice. She said something happens to her and she just goes blank. She knows the material believe me. She has pulled all A's on the fill in the blank but pulled low 70's on the Multiple Choice. Passing is 75. What we found out after we had enrolled and paid was that this particular program will expel you after the fail of the 6th exam. It does not matter if you got all A's in the unit these are not averaged in its only the final exam that counts and these are multiple choice. I found out after the fact that another program in the area does not kick you out but works with you. They also average ALL your grades in the unit so even if you score below on a final your quizzes and tests can pull your average right back up. My daughter asked for help in her present school and was told to buy a book. I am so discouraged for her. She would be a wonderful nurse. My husband and I will be out the 2500.00 if we take her out of the program but the next payment is due in December. She could get to a month before graduation and fail the final and be gone. We don't know what to do??? She has been in school for 6 weeks and right now carries and average of 86. But the MC tests pull her down. She has failed one exam with a 73(only missed it by 2 pts) and so she has one strike. If she fails 5 more she is gone. What do you suggest?

As far as books go are funds are a little low but I have a bid on e-bay of what I was told was a great book. Its called Saunders Comprehensive Reviews for NCLEX-PN. It comes with a CD also. Anyone heard of it? Thank-You for all your help. I have much to learn about letting go. Thank-you for all your kind responses and your honestly. I needed to hear it!

Yes, that particular review book will be very beneficial to your daughter. I used it (RN version) in preparing for my boards exam and it helped tremendously, I highly recommend it. I found the CD that came with it to be more helpful than the book itself. You can take simulated tests on specific areas or the entire curriculum. The great thing was you could click to see the rationale behind why your answer was the MOST correct answer and why the other options were incorrect. This tool helped tremendously in developing critical thinking skills, which she will need to pass the boards and use daily when she's a nurse. Not to mention the opportunity to develop her comfort level with taking MC type tests. I wish your daughter the best of luck. Hang in there Mom, it's not easy taking a step back, she'll be stronger for it though. :)

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She will have to learn to take the mc tests, thats the bottom line. Also, there are so many good junior college schools for nursing paying that much money is unneccessary. She needs to take year or two and figure things out for herself...nursing school is tough and frankly many schools and other students will look for the weakest student to focus on. Not nice, but reality.

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She is taking the LPN course through a Learning Center now. Before she enrolled and I paid I explained to them that she had some MC test taking problems. They told me No Worries, they had seen this before and were equppied to help. But so far no real help as come. I really want to schedule an appt with her instructor but my daughter fears because she is the youngest in the class the teacher may take it that my daughter can not handle her own problems. I talked to the instrcutor in the beginning on the phone and she said she was reluntact to talk to me because of privacy laws. I am really confused on that one. My daughter took the Microbiology section and scored all A's on her tests and quizzes. Fill in the blank but she got the 73 on the final. She is bright. I thought about pulling her and re-enrolling her i the other school in December but I don't know if thats the best course of action. If you met my daughter you would know she is just so meant for nursing. She has volunteered at a local hospital and gone on 4 missions trip. She loves to help people. Should I go ahead and schedule a meeting with the instructor or will this make my daughter look bad?

I think you need to get involved with the school on behalf of your daughter. They seem to be breaking their word to you. Get tough with them, Mom, other wise they will continue to tell your dtr to fix the trouble alone and they will continue to not keep their word to you that they would be available to help her with MC.

Actually, MC is easier for most people that I know. You can always eliminate 2 of the 4 answers right away and then just have to very carefully think through the other 2 and pick one. Your dtr is almost getting the required 75 so I think she can do just a little better and pass the tests.

Yes, the state licensing exam (NCLEX) is multiple choice, so she does need to master taking that type of test.

If she doesn't make it as a nurse, she will, I'm sorry to disappoint you, probably be better off. Nursing these days is very, very hard. Sorry if that is disappointing but I think it's not the end of the world if she doesn't make it. God will open another door for her.

Check with lots and lots of sources for free money for her schooling. Check with the fed gov for a Federal Nurse Traineeship grant, check with your state gov, go to corporations, search the internet. There are many sources of free money.

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This might be the hardest thing for you to do, but I agree with the other posters who have said that you need to back off and let her handle it. If, at 17, she is mature enough to do the LPN program, then she needs to be mature enough to deal with her instructors herself. If she's not, then maybe she needs to be taking basic college classes or maybe working for a while.

It's hard to let go but it's time to start.

My older son is dyslexic. I was very involved in his schooling throughout and did homeschool one year. Then after he graduated from high school he went out of state to a technical program. His first semester, he failed a class.

I can tell you that the urge to go and grab the instructor by the collar and shake his teeth out was strong. The urge to call him up was strong.

I didn't. My son retook the class and passed it and didn't fail another.

I was teaching at the time, though graduate students, and hearing the BSN instructors talk about getting calls from parents was enough to convince me that letting him fail was painful but that intervening would be much worse. If you do that, she's done at that school. The fact that you're paying does not matter (I was and still am!).

Work with her at home in learning strategies to do better on MC tests, maybe as someone else suggested get an experienced nurse to work with her and talk her through the thought processes needed to do well, but stay away from the school.

And, as someone suggested, it may be that she's just not not yet at the maturity level to think critically in the way that nursing requires. If this does not work out, maybe she could try CNA training and work in that role for a while.

I can tell you that all the old cliches you hear about them stepping on your toes when they're little but on your heart when they're bigger is not just a cliche. It's true. Parenting babies and small children is hard but parenting young adult children is just as hard in different ways!

Well, maybe you shouldn't call. What does your dtr want you to do? As I look back, I had to not intervene too much, especially after grade school, in my own kids' lives at school. My boys especially died a thousand deaths when I even mentioned that I was thinking of communicating with their teachers.

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Hey, a little trick that helps a lot to prevent getting flustered when doing MC questions is to cover up the answer choices and just read the question. Have her come up with the correct answer without even looking at the choices, then uncover the choices and choose the one that is closest to the answer in your head. If she has no problem with the fill in the black format, this little trick might work.

Hope this helps, best of luck :)

This is an excellent idea!

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Specializes in Telemetry, post partum, critical care.

without reading everything in detail since she was home schooled she may not have gotten used to the zillions of multiple "guess" tests that most people take in school. however, the exam to get the lpn license will definitely be multiple choice. for me, the multiple choice test was extremely easy. i passed my rn boards on the first try before i finished my nursing program as a non-grad. the reason it is easy is that i look first for the answer that i know is wrong. or, i know some part of an answer that is definitely right and then keep eliminating. some answers i know without this little trick but i still use it to check. and i always recheck all of my answers before turning in the test. there are two other possibilities. one is that your daughter has extreme test anxiety. she knows about the money and that it is all on the line. in that case, i would check out some books on self hypnosis and visualization to beat those test taking nerves. let her visualize taking the exam - sitting through the whole thing, marking the answers in her mind. and then as part of the visualization she should see her score as 100% in big red numbers. she should visualize herself relaxed, confident, and successful. this works in many areas and you don't need to pay a therapist to do this mental conditioning. she's simply exercising an old muscle in a different way - her mind. the other possibility is that deep down she is afraid of or does not really want to become an lpn. even if she says she does, either she lacks the confidence to succeed, is sabotaging herself, or deep, deep down does not really and truly want to become a nurse. the other thing is that here in southern california the community colleges cost $26 per unit and financial aid/scholarships are available. the school you are mentioning sounds extremely expensive. i don't know if it would be worth it for her to relocate here and go for the rn instead. i think she has to live here a year to qualify for in-state tuition - but there may also be a waiting list. there is little difference between the actual job duties of the rn and lpn. one works with iv's and has more responsibility but the pay is quite different. also the job opportunities are more abundant for an rn. the community colleges here all have tutoring programs at nominal fees. whatever the outcome, if it can't be visualized in the mind then it can't happen in reality. i hope she gives this careful thought and has actually volunteered in a hospital before she becomes a nurse. there are many people who are extremely dissatisfied in the profession. for more information go to http://www.aboutmytalk.com and click on the job story forum. it gives an inside look into nursing from people writing anonymously and these people do not hold back. they tell you their true feelings both positive and negative. also there is a recent post on aol - if you have aol go to the nursing message boards. click on a message board called "the gripe zone". there is a story of a student nurse working in a hospital and it is pretty comprehensive. i don't know where you live but i think taking some classes at a community college would be good for her. for example, in preparing for an rn program we had to take about two years of pre-requisities. this would get her used to the whole system and might be a good thing. above all, remember that you do not need the help. your daughter needs the help, says she wants to be a nurse, and must get on the internet and do some research. good luck! :mortarboard:

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Well you have given me a lot to think about. I will tell you my daughter wants to go as far as able. She has no intention of stopping at LPN. She just turned 17 and will turn 18 just as she graduates. She wants to attend college after this school and keep going. But she does want to work as an LPN to gain experince. I did find out that the school she is in is ranked #1 as far as LPN schools go. Its the mos difficult to make it through. She said that many of the women were crying yesterday due to just being overwhelmed. Also......

I can tell you one poster scared me to death. I got a private message asking me why I would want my daughter to be a nurse. She said she would be kicked, hit and spit on and most nurses end up in agony by the age of 50. I do know a few nurses and never had I heard such negative stuff. Is it really that awful for a nurse?

I don't want to give this posters identity but she told me this and it scared me:

This is what the poster stated to me:

". I don't know why you would encourage your daughter to go into nursing. She will risk being kicked, spit on, cussed at, treated like a flunkee, and generally abused."

She will be exposed to many diseases and antibiotic-resistant bacteria, hepatitis, TB, HIV and the verbal abuse is VERY real. The reason is that no one sets limits with the doctors. I'm sure I won't discourage you but I posted a couple of links so that you can listen to the stores of other nurses at
http://www.*********.com
. Your daughter will need a very thick skin, be on her feet for 12 hours at a time without eating or going to the bathroom, and have a huge responsibility that she will not have the accompanying authority to deal with. I am speaking from 20 years of experience and am not a novice. I like some things about my job but in general would not advise anyone to enter the profession.

With an LPN license she will still have to upgrade to an
RN
license to get away from bedside nursing. The average career length for a bedside nurse is SEVEN years - and I have known many nurses who have had to go on disability due to injuries and believe it or not many nurses (younger than 50) who have died from various causes including pulmonary embolism, heart disease, and cancer. One this year had to go out on disability for chemo. It may be the environment of the hospital (stress), handling drugs, or radiation. It could be unrelated but with that many deaths I don't think so. To be informed is to be prepared but some people feel that nothing really prepares you for hospital nursing. I hope you consider this in the best possible light and not as a total discouragement. But, it is the truth and that is why there is such a shortage in the face of what may seem like a relatively high salary. "

THIS SCARED ME!!!

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The best advice I can give you is to get an NCLEX prep book. I'm in an ADN registered nursing program and I have the NCLEX prep book by Saunders and it has been a life saver for me. I am not great with MC either, but, this has really helped me in that arena. A lot of schools have those harsh standards. My school, passing is a 73. The reason they do a lot with MC is because the NCLEX is all MC. It's to prepare you and get you ready to take that exam. I'm so sorry for your situation. I'm sure your daughter is everything you say she is and she will make a great nurse. Just continue to encourage her and really think about the NCLEX prep book. They range anywhere from $50 - $100 and they are worth every penny. She's really got to get a handle on the MC questions because that is the format of the NCLEX. I do wish you the best of luck. I hope it all works out!

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Specializes in Looking for a career in NICU.

Unfortunately, this is one of the "drawbacks" to homeschooling. Children that are homeschooled know the material, but when it comes to doing research and taking critical thinking tests, this is where they don't do well. This is why she is doing well on fill in the blank (which, by the way, is HARDER for most people to do), than multiple choice. The "fill-in" questions are more clear-cut for her, and this is exactly why she is doing well on those.

However, what is done is done, and you have to find a way to fix it.

Do you have a Sylvan learning center in your area or something similar? I do not recommend a tutor..she doesn't need help learning the material, she needs to gain test-taking skills and a tutor is going to be subject-knowledgable, but you need someone who is a licensed teacher that is skilled in teaching your child how to go through multiple choice tests. Another option is to see if a local college has such a program.

Once she gets over this hurdle, I am very confident, that your daughter will be able to continue her education with no problem. She is just competing with students that have performed critical thinking tests their entire life in a regular school setting, and higher learning institutions teach, based on this assumption.

Good luck!

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You mentioned that the books are expensive. Have you tried the library? The local library and her college library may have study guides. Try a variety and see which works best. I checked the Saunders RN and the Kaplan study guides out of my local public library when I was studying in school and for the NCLEX.

That said, I love my job. I am not spit on, though I may have various body fluids to clean up. I worked as a clinical technician in Telemetry while in school, and the other clin techs were helpful and friendly, and we worked together to get the patient care done. Now I work in L&D as an RN, and love my job. It can be overwhelming at times while I am learning and have two patients ready to push at the same time or having decels, but my job is very rewarding. Please don't let one person's comments scare you away from nursing -- there are many different areas of nursing to get into. While I learned a lot about prioritizing and patient care in Telemetry, I really love L&D and working with women and children and feel this is the place for me. . . for now :p . I also like the Neonatal Resuscitation Nurse's job, and may try to do that in a few years, but the big thing is there are many choices you can make in health care and many different directions you can go.

:nurse:

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Specializes in cardiac.

HomeSchool MOM,

I know there ARE drawbacks to nursing. But, every career has it's draw backs. Some facilities are harder to work at than others. There are a lot of nurses that love their job. Mainly because they found the right place to work. So, don't let this discourage you. I've had bad experiences too, but, that doesn't make me feel like I want to quit nursing. Granted, nursing is not for everyone. But, if your daughter really wants to do it, then she will probably be just fine. Remember, this site also allows us(nurses) to vent about bad days and such. Search through the forums and read the threads about positive experiences. There are quite a few of them. Good LUck!

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Specializes in Emergency.

Wow. Sorry that someone felt the need to scare you. I can say there are days that I've questioned why I went into this field, but you know they are nothing compared to the feeling I get when I've truly helped someone. Seems to me the person that e-mailed you is very bitter and burned-out.

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