Male coworkers harrassing female staff...

[Sgt_Chunk_Spelunker]

Hi ya'll! I have a problem...

My male coworkers are like a pack of wolves. One member of the pack was recently fired due to his terrible attitude. OK. So that's one down and two to go! I have another one who won't keep his hands to himself. One day he was stroking my hand, putting his hands around my waist, etc... I told him to stop and keep his distance. He is not easily redirectable. This has been a recurring problem ever since he began working there.

Then there's a third one. I can deal with him for the most part because he is all words and no touching.

Back to the coworker whom I'll refer to as "hands". I've spoken to my nurse manager and staff has talked to him regarding this behavior. He was calm for a while after that but still insists on talking to me like trash. Tomorrow I want to give him a letter from my husband and myself outlining the behavior I expect from him in the future. My husband is extremely angry and so am I. This is my last time telling him to stop before it gets ugly.

What should this letter say?

This guy is such a creep. He tells me that he can see through my pants and that I have a nice a**. Inapprpriate to the highest degree...and unacceptable to say the least! I feel sick thinking about this. Before I break his face and/or his fingers I need to do something...

[Raggedy Ann]

Mamanurse, I don't even want to HEAR about genital piercings in the workplace either...and he had the nerve to ask if YOU would do it???? Lordy what is wrong with some people!!!!

Just my 2 cents: consider telling him fairly directly this was innappropriate and made you uncomfortable or IMO you have opened up a door for him. Good luck.

Thanks for the advice. I really appreciate it! Have a great day!

[Rita Marie]

4-17-04

*******,

I want to let you know the following on behalf of myself and my husband:

Your comments regarding my appearance are making me extremely uncomfortable and I expect this behavior to cease immediately. I am your coworker and I enjoy working with you. You perform the duties of your job in a timely and professional manner.

In the past few months I have had to set limits with you regarding what I consider to be an invasion of my personal space. I have told you on several occasions that I consider your touching me to be completely inappropriate. There have been times when you have gone as far as to put your hands around my waist or to try to grab my hand. You know that this is inappropriate. Don't treat me any differently than you would treat a male staff member. Needless to say, I expect this never to happen again.

I spoke to ****** a few weeks ago regarding this issue and I will be giving her a copy of this letter. I will also inform her that I believe this issue is resolved at this point. Your behavior will be the deciding factor. I have suggested to management that a sexual harrassment inservice be held at the facility. Expect to be part of this training in the near future.

********(the Sgt's real name & signature goes here)

Hey Sgt CS...

I understand what you are saying--but I agree with the others, don't even mention your husband. If you weren't married, you wouldn't have anyone to mention--so why bring it up now. I know you are mad, let him know you won't take any more his behavior any more--get angry and use that to empower yourself--in a productive way.

And since you don't make policy--I doubt that you can actually expect him to be at an inservice regarding sexual harrassment (I thought all facilities had inservices in place by this time--your's must really be behind the times).

Again, document each incident, use a tape recorder (or a video recorder if you can) to capture the moment, go to HR, etc. I like the words "lawsuit". It definately carries a sobering connection to it!

Now go out there and bust this guy!

[kmchugh]

Let's see. You told him to quit, he didn't. You informed your supervisors, and nothing was done.

Next step? LAWYER UP!! Stop prancing and hoping. Send a STRONG message, and send it NOW.

DO NOT GIVE THE LETTER YOU HAVE WRITTEN TO YOUR COWORKER, TEAR IT UP!! It CAN be used against you. He can claim it's tone is threatening, and claim HE is in the hostile workplace. Nice, huh? He harrasses you, and you get in trouble. If there are any letters that need to be written, LET THE LAWYER WRITE THEM!

Hope I'm not being too subtle.

Kevin McHugh

Edited to add: You have an absolute right not to be treated this way, and management has the responsibility to make sure you are not treated this way. They have already failed in their responsibility. Go after all of them. Now.

[Havin' A Party!, ASN, RN]

Document, document, document!... File official grievences, with your manager and HR dept...

Correctemundo!

But just make sure you're giving the administration a reasonable amount of time to review and act.

Let's not forget everyone has rights and, before condemning anyone, an investigation has to take place.

Huge error to involve your husband.

[tntrn, ASN, RN]

No one has mentioned this, but if your hospital has a union, you should be able to get legal representation through them. At the very least, contact your union rep to see what options are available. Put those dues to work for you in a different way. Don't delay, don't send the letter, don't involve your husband in the complaint. Be direct; be strong; be safe.

[fiestynurse]

Your letter should not be directed at your co-worker. It should be directed to management and should not involve your husband, since he has nothing to do with this. What is your husband going to do if it doesn't stop?Management has a legal duty to investigate any complaints of sexual harassment. It is their job to deal with your co-worker, not yours. You could be putting yourself in danger, since sexual harrassment tends to progress. It already involves touching. It is not about sex, but about control and power. I think it is a good idea to put your complaints in writing (wouldn't hurt to have legal advise on this) You should work your way up the management chain and contact human resources. This guy should be terminated.

[Token Male]

I'm only reading page 1 at the moment and I can only say " Have them arrested NOW for assault."

You tell some one once it becomes harrassment, then harrassment becomes assault; may not be legal but makes sense to me.

[Jailhouse RN]

Have him arrested, yourself. Your husband doesn't work there and has no involvement with work related issues. If this was outside of work and you were my wife, this guy would no longer have "hands." Assault and battery are crimes punishable by jail time.