LITERALLY EATING THE "HELL" OUT OF YOUR YOUNGS

  1. Have anyone ever figured out why nurses gossip so dam much? I have been out of the field for a while. When I returned, I noticed my skills were limited. So I had to go into orientation as a new nurse. You don't have to be a rocket scientist to know when someone is talking about you. My preceptor sends me down the hall to to check on a patient. When I unexpectly come out of the room, they hurry up and break from their little gossipy huttle. It really burns me up because I am very quite and stay to myself. And if I had something to say to someone I like to get very "UP, CLOSE, and PERSONAL." That way they won't get the message backwards. I hate that you said and I said mess. They are really making me dislike my career choice. My patients loves me.
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  2. 13 Comments

  3. by   fergus51
    One of my old nursing instructors told me it is because nurses are an opressed group and an oppressed group always starts infighting because they see eachother as competition... I just thought they were b*&#*s....Just ignore them and try to find the nurses who are a great support(they are out there).
  4. by   petulip in Alabama
    yes, it does indeed sound like the intiation process has begun for you...I have been a nurse 10 years...and with each new area I went into, I found the very same thing. The new one gets the worst pts.,the worst schedule, and seems to be the hot topic. What I have come to realize is indeed, you are being analyzed and tested by your peers...to see if you "can handle it" ..to see your weakness..and your strengths. Hang in there...in 6 months you will know who can be trusted, who the troublemakers are, who thinks they are "the Queen" , and most importantly..who really cares about being a nurse. After all is said and done, we all came from the same desire..to help others. Next time you feel tested by someone..try to think of it that way. Good Luck!!
  5. by   JulieW
    I feel for you. I, along with a few hundred others on this board , have gone through the same type of thing. I agree with fergus on the oppressed group theory.

    My orientation as a new grad was awful. I was nothing more than fresh meat for these awful vulture nurses to attack!! I, too, am quiet and keep to myself. Our personality type is probably the kind nurse-eaters look for.

    My advice- find somewhere that you can enjoy your new career and blossom into a great nurse. There are so many fantastic, wonderfully supportive nurses out there that will make you feel at home. Keep looking until you find it. You deserve it.

  6. by   Doc
    We have all been there, whether as a student, a new grad, a person entering a new field of nursing or someone who is going back to the profession after a long break, as you are. I strongly recommend you check these two websites out. They deal with the concept of "horizontal violence" in nursing, which explains why this sort of thing is so pervasive in nursing. It was also very therapeutic, as it validated my feelings and made me realise that so many people are going through the same thing. Her are the two websites:
    http://www.nurseadvocate.org/hv.html
    http://www.uniontalk4nurses.org/hori..._violence.html

    And here's another one on what you can do about it: http://www.successunlimited.co.uk/nurses.htm

    Take heart and try your hardest not to let it get to you. Find people who have been through this that you can "unload" to, and do something relaxing after every shift, be it taking a bath with aromatherapy oils, cross-stitching, tai-chi, yoga, fishing, meditation...whatever suits your style.


    [This message has been edited by bshort (edited March 14, 2001).]
  7. by   sharann
    Good question. I myself have this very question. I left a job as a nwe grad because the "nurses" (read neurotic and paranoid young-eaters) drove me insane.They were not just "testing" me, they were almost saboutauging my work! It was really sad. My preceptors were nasty and burned out. They really made my life a living hell. Then they'd compain that there was a staffing shortage on the floor! Hmmm, I WONDER WHY!!! So,I am 5 weeks into my new job (different hospital) and though there are so undertones here and there (those types are everywhere), I must truly say these nurses are MUCH more positive and nurturing to the new nurses as well as to one another. Yes, some gossip, but most gossip is about RN's who give poor pt care. I love nursing, even with all the crap we have to go through. Even though the pay could be much better and the staffing sucks dearly..... I still love it. Ignore the backstabbers and whining paranoid types. Enjoy the positive aspects of patient care. Remember, no one is forcing those who hate it to stay......
    Shar
  8. by   Lynn Casey RN
    Hi angelnurse!Great and unfortunately true posting about our poisoned work environments.I am an outgoing RN and love my patients.I may as well take neon paint and put a target on myself.Patients ask about me when they are readmitted and you know where that puts me?....Top of the dart board!In the same gossipy situations I like to smile and say....if they are not talking to you you are not important!Don't let it get you down...let it pick you up and focus on who's day you are going to make today!
  9. by   Mijourney
    Hi angelnurse. We nurses can be brutal towards one another in the workplace. I agree with previous posters on some of the reasons for this. I also agree that you should take things in stride and try very hard not to take anything personal. Don't make the problem of someone else's gossip your problem.

    I have learned the hard way that it's best to simply come to work in a civil, pleasant manner and keep relationships superficial until you really learn the staff and know who you can trust. Another poster pointed this out. Even when you find allies, you will want to keep things at a certain level, because nurses are also bad about completely turning on one another from time to time.

    Welcome back to nursing practice and best wishes for finding peace in your employment.
  10. by   cargal
    Originally posted by Doc:
    We have all been there, whether as a student, a new grad, a person entering a new field of nursing or someone who is going back to the profession after a long break, as you are. I strongly recommend you check these two websites out. They deal with the concept of "horizontal violence" in nursing, which explains why this sort of thing is so pervasive in nursing. It was also very therapeutic, as it validated my feelings and made me realise that so many people are going through the same thing. Her are the two websites:
    http://www.nurseadvocate.org/hv.html
    http://www.uniontalk4nurses.org/hori..._violence.html

    And here's another one on what you can do about it: http://www.successunlimited.co.uk/nurses.htm

    Take heart and try your hardest not to let it get to you. Find people who have been through this that you can "unload" to, and do something relaxing after every shift, be it taking a bath with aromatherapy oils, cross-stitching, tai-chi, yoga, fishing, meditation...whatever suits your style.


    It has a name- BULLYING!!! "What is bullying? Bullying is persistent unwelcome,behavior, mostly using unwarranted or invalid criticism, nit-picking, fault-finding, also excludion, isolation, being singled out and treated differently, being shouted at, humiliated, excessive monitoring, having verbal and written warnings imposed, and much more. In the workplace, bullying usually focuses on distorted or fabricated allegations of underperformance. Source-- "Online Bullying:What is it?"
    This is very helpful, Doc! Thank You so much for bringing it to our attention. Like people who suffer from conditions that are consistently misdiagnosed or not diagnosed, the suffering is eased when the disease is named. It is then treatable.
    Unfortunately, this disease is an epidemic in nursing, and needs to be addressed immediately. The nursing profession is suffering and losing nurses because of the reprehensible behavior toward new, inexperienced, or "different" nurses (usually those with integrity and whose performance may divert attention away from the bully's inadequate performance or feelings of guilt d/t subperformance)
    These websites are extremely valuable. I have printed off nearly 40 pages of information to share with some colleagues who are now the targets in the facility where I am working. It is soo dysfunctional. All nurses who read this should check out these profiles on the horizontal abuser and see if YOU or a manager fit the profile, or are one of the abused. As a former housewife and waitress and getting my degree in my early forties, this type of behavior nearly destroyed my career, my marriage and my family because I was so despondent. Thanks Doc , I am now armed and dangerous ( or at least confident)! I am now planning on my meeting with my boss, who is a "pair bully."

    "I believe bullying is the single most important social issue of today." www.successunlimited.co.uk/bully/bully.htm
  11. by   angelnurse
    I would like to take this opportunity to thank you guys sooooooooo much for your supportive and kinds words. You all just don't know how out of place I feel. I am strongly considering terminating my employment at this facility. It is a sad situation. Will keep you all posted.

    Again, thanks
  12. by   challis
    As a recent victim of bullying, I thought I was so alone. I have had a look at the web sites that Doc has mentioned and have bookmarked them for future reference.

    Thank you all.........I feel so much better now..
  13. by   cargal
    This is for you RAY. See Doc's great post with links. They are invaluable.
  14. by   syranurse
    Oh where should I start. I was picked up by their tounges and thrown across the wall everyday. I lost 20lbs, was always sick, and cried everyday. Being an African-American made it worse I believe...and this was in Syracuse. Eventually, I came to work and did not say anything to anyone...and that bothered them too. They complained that I was not very "easy" to work with etc. After a while, they just did not know how to take me. Well after about six months, I quietly searched for new job..in another state. By my tenth month, I handed in a letter of resignation and was outta there. I now live in Atlanta where I am around people who are much nicer and couldn't ask for a better work environment. It's very hard to be a new grad and a minority today. With the shortage...nurses just don't have the patience but it's no excuse to ill-treat the very nurses who will be taking care of them in the next 20 years or less. I wish all the new grads luck. And remember you don't have to stay in a work environmentthat's unhealthy. There's ajob for you somewhere out there.

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