I want to be a nurse BUT

[finness]

Hi!

I guess I'm in need of a self-esteem booster. This is my first semester of nursing school, and until recently, I've been really excited about my decision to join the health care field. However, as soon as my father discovered my chosen vocation, he flipped! He told me that I'd make a terrible nurse! He told me that I was far too brainless, awkward, shy and impersonal to make a good nurse. I am NOT at all upset that my father was so malicious. His skepticism of my abilities is serial in nature. As it is, he's talked me out of going to college twice, moving out once, and tried his da**est to keep me from getting a high school diploma. However, I wondered if there was SOME truth to his words. I AM soft-spoken and my feelings CAN get hurt quite easily. Does this put me as a disadvantage entering the nursing field? What are your opinions?

Have a wonderful weekend!

Sarah

[mark_LD_RN]

go for your dream and get away from your dad!

I was told i was not smart enoughto be a nurse by my parents at one time. And that i was not good with people and wasto shy. well look at me now,I graduated with MY BSN, finished with 4.0 and was top student in my class.I am now a L&Dnurse and am considered a wonderful nurse by my patients coworkers and manager. so you see if i can do it so can you. if you can dream it you can do it.just work hard and keep your chin up.:)

[mark_LD_RN]

oh and by the way Iam still very soft spoken!:)

[NICURNtobe]

Sarah, I know how hard it is to turn off those tapes in our head. We've been hearing them all our lives. They're so destructive and can prevent us from reaching our full potential. You've already proven you're intelligent by getting into school, now take it and run with it!!!

[Jotie]

Hi Sarah :) You know... A lot of things that happen in our lives are there to make us strong. We are the people we are so that we can find our own strength and our own way of expressing our strengths. There is a lot of strength to be found in a quiet person. They can instill trust and allow others to have their space and a chance to air their worries without feeling judged. I think these qualities would create a terrific nurse.

As for your dad..... Well I am a big believer in the mirror theory. we see in others what sits in ourselves... Therefore... Your father sees himself as being a losser... He is frightened of his abilities and would much rather not step out than fail..... And then you have to think of the posibility that he is frighten of you being better than him!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I say...... Go for it Girl!!!!!!! :) :) :) :)

[RNinICU]

Originally posted by Flo1216

Your dad sounds rather emotinally abusive.

I couldn't agree more. Emotional abuse is as bad as physical abuse. When someone spends their life tearing down another's self esteem, it is usually because they feel worthless themselves. It also sounds like there may be some control issues here. Does he treat your Mom and siblings in this manner, too?

Don't let him do this to you. I agree with what others have said here. You would not have made it this far if you were not capable. I work with several people who are soft spoken, and it has nothing to do with their capabilities as nurses. You can do it, so please don't give up. We will be here to support you in your studies. And PM me any time you need a boost. :kiss

[Y2KRN]

Sarah,

You keep right on going. Find support from other important people in your life. Your father is definately the one with the problem not you. We need kind hearted people in our profession, and don't worry about your feelings getting hurt easily that means that you can feel and show empathy. Two of the top traits that a nurse needs to prosper!!!

Keep us informed as to how you are doing. If you need any help or support just let me know what I can do to help!

Denise

[shabookitty]

You are one step closer than me at accomplishing your goal! And I know we both want it...so please continue. If not for your dad, do for yourself or for those of us that are still green!

Dads can be perculiar. Sometimes it is about control. You are his little girl (always) and he has always made decisions for you in your best interest (so he seems to think). It is hard for him to hand this role over... he still thinks he knows what is best for you. But what he dosen't realize is that you are a grown woman with your own mature, personal needs. When your dad sees you in action he will admire the ground you walk on... I promise. My dad said he backed off when he saw me "confront" someone in public (aka raise hell ) and stand my ground. He had never seen that side of me before! B/c i too am VERY soft spoken and small. At one time my father could throw some blows... I realize now ppl do that negativity thing b/c they think it will change your mind. But, my dad did not realize how badly he was hurting my self image. Negativity hurts more when you really want something. Otherwise, if it was something you were unsure about...or not passionate about the comments would have the trampoline effect!

So, hang in there! I want to see you on this board giving advice!!

[Neon8]

Sarah, don't believe what your Dad has told you. My elderly Dad has the same opinion of me being a nurse. He used to say I would make a lousey nurse before I graduated with honors, etc. from the BSN program. Now, he doesn't say that. Anyway, one of his reasons was that I "don't know how to carry on a conversation". It is true that I am an introvert compared to others, I mean I just can't talk endlessly about nothing like some can. He also doesn't realize that since he is an alcoholic, that I just refuse to speak to him when he is drunk. Another reason why he thinks I would make a lousey nurse is that I don't get excited when his blood pressure is high and his heart is flipflopping all over the place because he hasn't taken his medication and he has really tied one on the night before. He says I never smile and this is a reason I would make a lousey nurse. I smile plently -just not very much at him. I am freindly also- he just doesn't see it. So, what I am trying to say is that you are the one that knows what you are capable of. Prove him wrong.

[susanmary]

Sarah, believe in yourself. You are in control of yourself and your future. You can be ANYTHING you want to be. Please surround yourself with supportive, constructive, motivated people and seek a counselor to help you deal with your father's behavior. He owns HIS behavior & you own YOURS. His negative comments regarding your career choice says more about him than you. You need to realize that you may never get his approval -- even if you graduated sum cum laude from Harvard or Yale -- he wants to keep you down -- don't let him. Your life/choices/career are not about him -- they are about you.

It's unfortunate that you don't have his support, but that is life. It's not always perfect, but we can always learn from our backgrounds, experiences, and situations and go on. College is a time of self-awareness and independence -- use it to your full advantage. Regarding your self-esteem, it comes from within -- others can NOT make you feel bad about yourself -- only YOU can allow that to happen. It's a difficult lesson -- learn it NOW. From your post, I'm assuming you are late teens/early twenties -- choose your friends and BOYFRIENDS wisely -- don't repeat the pattern and be with anyone who puts you down. You deserve respect. Whether or not you become a nurse does not define who you are or whether you are a success in life.

You own your future. Be happy. You have your whole life in front of you. You have a very valuable future (and I'm NOT speaking about $$$).

[alwaysthere]

Your father strangely enough may be showing you love in the only way he was shown....now before you guys rush to correct my obviously skewed thinking read on....

My father has been a $&$^# from day one physical/sexual/emotional/mental abuse

to me and somewhat to my mother and younger sister

from the time i could read i read anything medical icould get my hands on...when i was twelve i started volunteering with every medical org i could think of ...thirteen got a job patient care/clerical and did some HH...sixteen graduated high school and got the C. added to the N.A. ...(planned on entering rn bsn program that fall however due to financiall problems and getting taken to court it didnt work out) ...the point is through all of this he was not supportive....your not smart enough, your lazy, your this your that....with everything ive ever wanted to do he is right there pointing out the bad in it....and everytime i have chosen to ignore him .. to do what i know is right in my life..(well the other day i overheard him talking with a friend of his over the phone and he begin to list the things i have just listed including my plans get my rn as well as various good personal traits,his voice emotional with pride, you would have thought that he was talking of a different person!!).never let him control your life...choosing a career in nursing is the best thing ive ever done ....and in the fall (03) i will be entering my first year in nursing school (crosses fingers)....the point is because he has always been there giving me the negative side of things..and becuase my life has been no walk in the park...i have always been a person that goes and tackles any obstacle head on...your nursing degree and the experiences you have in nursing will be something your father can never take away!

Remember ....ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE, (meaning NO THING is IMPOSSIBLE ) with GOD.. NEVER GIVE UP