I just can't do this anymore...

  1. 5 I have come to realize that this is not the line of work for me. I dropped out of nursing school once because I didn't like it, but my family urged me to go back, so I did. I got my LVN and then continued on to get my RN. I failed the last semester of RN school, so I didn't quite make it.

    I have worked in LTC, home heath, and now I work in a doctor's office. Here I am, hating it, dreading going to work every day, sometimes fighting back the tears as I drive to work. I am so utterly miserable! My job also does not offer me any health insurance, and I have some health and dental problems that I cannot address because of this. I work in the little lab of a clinic where all I do is venipunctures and injections and anything else that the other nurses don't have time/don't want to do.

    I have looked for and applied for other non-nursing jobs that pay okay and offer the benefits that I need, but here is the problem: my husband is TICKED off. I have tried discussing it with him and he knows how miserable I am. But he gets a disability check that doesn't come close to paying all of the bills. He has told me that there is no way I am going to go get a non-nursing job, wasting my education and still having to pay back the student loans (that he made me take out in the first place). He says I am being selfish by seeking out a lower-paying job. Also, I think maybe he would be embarrassed to tell his family as well? I gently reminded him that he has quit jobs that he hated in the past, when we had no other income at the time...!

    Anyway, I am not here to whine, so I apologize. But I would appreciated some advice. I don't know how much longer I can do this!!
  2. Visit  ruthiemk profile page

    About ruthiemk

    Joined Feb '11; Posts: 4; Likes: 5.

    61 Comments so far...

  3. Visit  Biffbradford profile page
    6
    I've got no answers for you, but just to say you are not alone.

    I'm quitting nursing soon after 15 years of stuffing body bags, getting little old ladies down from standing on the bed trying to kick me, or enduring folks going through ETOH withdrawl.

    I did a search for "My job is killing me" and came up with this link. Seems to have a well thought out response: http://www.goodenoughmother.com/2012...is-killing-me/

    Good luck!
    Swellz, joanna73, anotherone, and 3 others like this.
  4. Visit  Born_2BRN profile page
    0
    Can you go back complete that last semester you failed? It's selfish of him forces you to stay and work in a job makes you miserable. If I were you I will try to complete that last semester. I failed a class (passed my lecture, failed clinical) while in nursing school. I didn't give up I went back after a seat opened. I've never looked back and now I have my BSN as well. I know in our kind line of work support system is very important. My husband didn't understand it at first how miserable I was in my first job until later. Now I only work 2 days a week and no desire to pick up extra shift. I like it that way.
  5. Visit  Hygiene Queen profile page
    51
    I'm sorry, but your husband sounds like a jerk.
    poppycat, BrnEyedGirl, Marisette, and 48 others like this.
  6. Visit  squatmunkie_RN profile page
    16
    1st your husband sounds like a real ahole. Find a better LVN job. Look in nursing homes, another dr's office, home health.
    tcvnurse, linzjane88, QuarterLife88, and 13 others like this.
  7. Visit  NutmeggeRN profile page
    9
    I hope your day gets better...try to hang in there....is there an EAP program at your job? Sounds like you could use somebody to talk to....
    nrsang97, Orca, Kate Sutton, and 6 others like this.
  8. Visit  taossantafe profile page
    10
    I've certainly been in your position, primarily burn out. I knew that if I were to survive nursing, mentally and physically, I would have to back away for awhile and re-group. The pay in nursing is good and I needed to pay the bills, so I went per diem and returned to school for my life long passion of anthropology. For three years, I worked at clinics and hospice jobs to make ends meet and went to school at nite. Returning to anthropology/archaeology, I was able to have an outlet to resolve my burnout. In other words, I began to love nursing again. I also used my experience in nursing and applied it to my anthro/archaeology studies, primarily in the study of bones and paleopathology. Now I plan to pursue my masters in anthropology. Hope to someday teach nursing again or perhaps anthro. I have nursing colleagues that took cooking classes, accounting, worked as volunteers in museums and slowly moved into secondary jobs, all the while still being nurses; because in the long run, the pay is still better than most jobs. It helped me with the burn out phase. Ultimately, it is your happiness, health, and life, not your husband's.
    Hygiene Queen, goomer, nrsang97, and 7 others like this.
  9. Visit  netglow profile page
    22
    Nice how your husband does not need to follow his own rules.
    Guttercat, Savvy20RN, acerbia, and 19 others like this.
  10. Visit  prmenrs profile page
    5
    The link in Biff's post is pretty good, the gist of which is, ..."Whenever you have a problem, you really have two choices; either shut the hell up and fix it, or just shut the hell up.”

    There's a lot more of decent advice in the piece, too, but that sticks w/me.

    I can't believe someone who loves you as much as a husband hopefully should really wants you to be as miserable as you sound. Possibly, you two need to sit down w/a psychologist or minister and work out the problem.

    I wish you the best, I hope you can find a better situation.
    nrsang97, sapphire18, VickyRN, and 2 others like this.
  11. Visit  ruthiemk profile page
    0
    Thanks everyone. Thanks for that link Biff! It gives me a few ideas. And I have tried talking with him, that always ends up the same. I appreciate the advice.
  12. Visit  1hotnurse08 profile page
    8
    I somewhat know how you are feeling. I recently failed this past semester in my RN program. I only had 4 more months to go had I passed. Honestly I felt like a burden had been lifted off my shoulder. I was going back to school because others thought that i should go back but not because i wanted to go back. People think I'm crazy when I don't get excited about becoming an RN. I just don't. I was never prepared because it wasn't in my heart. I see people posting all the time trying to convince people to get their BSN but everybody's situation is different!!! Honestly if I had it all to do over again I would not have chosen nursing. It's a very rewarding, but challenging and demanding career. I'm not here to bash nursing. I just got tired. Sometimes you just get tired. I'm glad though if I decide to pursue other goals I can always have it to fall back on. No offense but from personal and life experiences it seems like just because you are the nurse your income is the one that is holding it all together n everybody always comes to you for money and more than likely you ARE the breadwinner of the family. To each its own because some people don't mind this position and there is nothing wrong with that!
    keepmovingrn, multi10, Fiona59, and 5 others like this.
  13. Visit  Biffbradford profile page
    7
    The thing about nursing is that while the money is good, you won't get rich doing it. In fact, believe it or not, some people do make a good living at doing things OTHER than healthcare. I know, it sounds crazy, but it's true! What's even more crazy is that employers are sucking the life blood out of the experienced nurses until they've had enough knowing full well there's a huge pool of new nurses excited to take their place at half the pay. Interestingly, at the hospital I work at now, the orientation is all GO TEAM GO! then all of a sudden, the president of the hospital bails for another in a different state. Wait ... what? Okay, I'm done for now. Good luck!
    tnmarie, Danish, sapphire18, and 4 others like this.
  14. Visit  DizzyLizzyNurse profile page
    6
    Quote from 1hotnurse08
    I somewhat know how you are feeling. I recently failed this past semester in my RN program. I only had 4 more months to go had I passed. Honestly I felt like a burden had been lifted off my shoulder. I was going back to school because others thought that i should go back but not because i wanted to go back. People think I'm crazy when I don't get excited about becoming an RN. I just don't. I was never prepared because it wasn't in my heart. I see people posting all the time trying to convince people to get their BSN but everybody's situation is different!!! Honestly if I had it all to do over again I would not have chosen nursing. It's a very rewarding, but challenging and demanding career. I'm not here to bash nursing. I just got tired. Sometimes you just get tired. I'm glad though if I decide to pursue other goals I can always have it to fall back on. No offense but from personal and life experiences it seems like just because you are the nurse your income is the one that is holding it all together n everybody always comes to you for money and more than likely you ARE the breadwinner of the family. To each its own because some people don't mind this position and there is nothing wrong with that!
    It always mystifies me when people don't want to be nurses or don't want to go to school for it anymore....and other people think they are crazy. These people who think someone is crazy not to be a nurse are never people who have been nurses. If nursing is so great, why don't they become nurses lol????

    I agree with the "your husband is a jerk" statements. That's a pretty selfish stance to take. There are other things you can take in school with all the science classes you've taken. Maybe change your major?
    Marisette, Hygiene Queen, nrsang97, and 3 others like this.

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