How to cope? Very Sad. - page 3

As I was saying goodnight to a patient of mine as I was getting ready to end my shift Thursday evening and give report to the nurse who was now on duty I asked if there was anything she needed or I... Read More

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    Thank you for your reply. Although I found everyones responses to be very comforting and helpful your response really hit home with me. Your advice definitely comforted me more than I can explain.

    Thank you,

    Quote from leslie :-D
    what a special gift you were given.
    to me, i see it as God sending you to comfort this woman...
    and you did - beautifully, i might add.
    how to cope??
    you are coping, even with great sadness, you are still coping.
    you allowed her to verbalize her fears, which enabled her to die more peacefully...
    aeb, 'it's a beautiful day to die'.
    people that are tormented, don't make statements like that.

    as another poster suggested, pay it forward.
    extend this type of loving and sensitive care, to all your pts.
    as a long-time hospice nurse, i can assure you that you really did give her a headstart on this journey called death...
    by allowing her this peace, before she died.
    as it stands now...her peace is eternal, no worries there.

    your sadness will diminish gradually.
    your apparent sensitivity will benefit all of your other pts, from hereonin.
    it's perfectly ok to smile for yourself - knowing you gave her your personal and professional best.
    it's also ok to smile, because your pt will never know fear again.
    it sounds like it was a heartwarming, intimate encounter you both had.

    Last edit by NrsLucky on Jan 14, '12
    mimivn2009 and leslie :-D like this.

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    [font=times] thanks
    leslie :-D likes this.
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    You gave the patient exactly what she needed by simply listening. She was very lucky to have you there.

    It's ok to be sad about this. We are only human, and the ability to be touched by our patients is part of what makes us good nurses. We learn and grow by experiences such as this. I hope your sadness passes quickly and you take comfort from the gift you gave this woman.
    leslie :-D likes this.
  4. 0
    This post made me cry.
    How heartbreaking...
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    I felt as I left the hospital that the one time a patient truly needed me I failed her because instead of being able to comfort her as I believed she wanted me to my words failed me and all I could do was hug her tight and let her cry.
    You failed her? Let's check that out. You listened to her and allowed her to put into words things she couldn't say to her family. You helped her to discharge a lot of fears and regrets. You gave her the gift of human touch, which goes straight to the heart. You did not shut her down with phony reassurance and false cheer. You did communicate to her that she mattered to you and that you were sad, not just for her, but also with her. You helped her set down the burdens she could no longer carry so she would be able to travel light.

    Even though you didn't cure her ravaged body, it sounds like you helped to heal her wounded spirit . . .

    . . . as evidenced by her comment later, "What a beautiful day to die."

    The safety and comfort you gave her helped set her free.

    Please, allow us to thank you on her behalf.
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    What a powerful reminder of the impact nurses have on the lives---and deaths---of those we care for.

    Honey, you didn't "fail" anyone. I hope the positive reinforcement you're receiving here proves that to you beyond the shadow of a doubt. You were the exact person your patient needed at that moment in time, when life was fading and she knew she couldn't hang on much longer, and you provided exactly what she needed to be able to let go. What an incredible gift you gave her......she was at peace when she died because of you.

    Everyone should be fortunate enough to have a nurse like you, especially at the end of life. God bless you.
    P_RN, mimivn2009, JustBeachyNurse, and 1 other like this.
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    you are an amazing nurse to have listened and comforted this lady when she needed it more than ever.

    you are the kind of nurse that i strive to be.

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