How do you deal with backstabbing

grimmy, RN · Mar 16, 2005

its hard to ignore some things, i'll admit. as much as i am getting good at letting tirades and tantrums slide off my back, there are some things that still grate on my nerves. there are a couple of travel nurses where i work who, together, are thick as thieves. everytime i see them together they are giggling and rolling their eyes, whispering. reminds me of junior high school, and those are not good memories. there's not too much that goes on in the or that doesn't become grist for the gossip mill, so if you want to keep your name off the roll, you keep things close to your chest. if you date anyone on staff, you don't flaunt it or you get talked about. best thing: have friends outside of the hospital. i think it helps to keep me centered, aware that the hospital is not my whole life.

Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN · Mar 16, 2005

Tweety, I work with all women, and it's very true!

Oh, someone please explain to me how statements, like the above, HELP the problem???

I bet if you told them this to their faces, they might beg to differ.

LPN1974, LPN · Mar 16, 2005

This is an interesting thread to me, as my job has typically always had backstabbers, gossipers, tattletales, etc.

Usually when we hear backstabbing going on, it's one nurse talking ABOUT another behind their back, right?

What would you all do in a situation if you find out it is YOUR back that has been stabbed?

Would you confront the person, take it to your supervisor, or ignore it, hoping it would stop?

live4today, RN · Mar 16, 2005

I encountered a situation once where a nurse was gossiping about me behind my back.............so she thought...............I happened to be using the breakroom bathroom and overheard every word she said. :rotfl:

I waited until I had heard enough (a few minutes at least), then called her name aloud through the bathroom door. :rotfl: It would have been a priceless Kodak moment to have seen the shock on her face when she heard my voice calling her name from the other side of the bathroom door. :rotfl:

When I exited the bathroom, there she was speechless as other staff looked on in silence. I looked her in the eye and softly said to her that if she was going to gossip behind my back about me, that she should at least tell the gospel truth. Of course she tried to say she was "simply trying to make a point..........." :uhoh3:

I proceeded to tell her that gossiping was childish & immature, and nothing that she was gossiping about to the others was beneficial to the unit as a team. Besides, she wasn't teaching the newbies and student nurses anything productive in their learning experience as future nurses. :rolleyes:

I'll never forget that moment as long as I live. Everytime I think about it, it at least gets a good laugh out of me. :rotfl:

snowfreeze, BSN, RN · Mar 16, 2005

1.I usually say "knock it off" I am not interested in that right now.

2.I am kinda busy so please vent somewhere else. or the ultimate.

3.WHAT!!! go figure...heck that person is gonna go to jail I guess!

All responses throw off the negative seekers.

Recognize what they are saying then show you don't really want to hear it.

vivere · Mar 17, 2005

we have one nurse who talks about EVERYBODY behind their back, even her so called best friends! i already know to ignore most of what she says, as it is lies. she constructs her own reality, it seems. on the other hand, you really have to watch your back with these type of nurses, because they are always trying to find a reason to put you down to the boss. ignore gossip....ignore all that you hear, and half of what you see! when someone is a busybody, i do confront them, quickly, and directly, and then i continue with my work. :coollook:

qje999 · Jun 3, 2005

I didn't say ALL, I said most. And it's great when you do find the few gems that aren't. I think that we all have a lot to learn from eachother and I think that we have enough working against us that we all need to stick together. That is why I don't get involved in all of the backbiting, I really try to build up, not tear down. In my place of work at this time, though, it's rampant right now and it's disheartening.

where I work it is horrible, the backstabbing, running to the head nurse with gossip, having to look over your shoulder all the time, etc. head nurse favorites and they get all that they want.

qje999 · Sep 25, 2005

How do you deal with the nasty comments, nit picking, back stabbing tattle tales at your facility?

I try to stay away from these people, but its hard when you have to work side by side with them. management need to step up, and stop it but they dont even care.