How Can This Be Done?????Help..Advice

  1. Hello to All,

    I am planning to go back to school this fall and I know there are some single parents out there. So, my question is..is how can this be done? I know it will be awhile before I get into the Nursing course...but when I get there how can it be done? They say you practically cannot work and I am the soul provider for me and my son. Some people say "What about your parents,aunts,uncles"? Well, not to make up an excuse, but reality cause that is what I like to deal with.. my parents are full time working people ..in addition to my father being a busy Pastor then my brother ...jeesh... he is single, with no strings attached (so you know I never see him) , then my sister..too busy for words to even mention. So, I want to hear from anyone but mainly the people that don't have that much support and struggling on there own.. how do you do it? I know it can be done..and Im not saying that my family will never help but I just look at both sides to everything.. thanks a bunch

    Med409 (April)
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  2. 13 Comments

  3. by   passing thru
    Are you prepared to lower your standard of living for about five years?
    Move into the cheapest apartment? Most likely into a less desirable neighborhood? Give up all entertainment spending? Give up shopping for new clothes? Give up eating out? vacations?

    There's a lot of discussion about sacrifice to go to school.

    How about moving? Will you attend a large university that probably provides "married student housing" ? You don't have to be married, a single mom with a child is eligible for cheap rents...real cheap.

    Go to the financial aid office of the school you want to attend. That is the place to start. See what they have to offer. Grants, low cost rents, etc. There's national programs that offer stipends for single parents, and they will pay for your books , uniforms, etc.

    After you are into the studying for a year, there's low -cost loans that do not have to be paid back until you have your nursing degree.

    For starters, pay off all credit cards. Drive an old paid- for car.
    It is a huge change of current lifestyle to do it solo--without help.
    But many have lived like paupers and done it before you, and you can do it to.
  4. by   Med409
    Thank you so much... I didnt know which way to turn or how to go about it.....The things that you have described..I can do..not a stranger to it at all. I will be attending the Community College in my area.

    Im determined to do this.. again..thanks :roll
  5. by   renerian
    I did it for my ADN, BS and MS. It can be done. Just cut what you can and say for that time your life will be hard. Go forward.

    renerian
  6. by   rnnurse2be
    ok... lets think of more cost cutting items.

    Get rid of cable
    Get rid of cell phone
    no more new release movies... only the .99 oldies
    no more mochas (ok.... maybe just cut back)
    buy clothes second hand (look at garage sales)
    buy food in bulk (costco) and freeze it.
    instead of buying dinner out all the time, make pizza at home.
    instead of buying new CD's, look into pawn shops for them
    ----------------

    Ask friends to help watch your child during school. OR, if he is a quiet child bring him with you if you have to. Many mom's do this at our CC, and as long as the child is quiet and doesnt disrupt they dont mind.

    How about a night class or two so your parents can watch the child?

    Will your son be in school by the time Nursing school hits?

    Take a few classes at a time...if you cant get a sitter

    GET YOUR BUTT DOWN TO THE FINANCIAL OFFICE ASAP... they are there to help you. YOU are NOT the only one out there!

    To save on gas, can you and your son walk, or ride a bike?

    Each time you go to spend the money, or buy something ask yourself if it is something that you realllllllllly need! You would be amazed by the over spending we do on a whim...

    Never Underestimate the Impossible....
    and...
    If no door is opened, climb through a window!
  7. by   Med409
    Thank you all for the encouragement and all the wise info you have given me. My son is pretty understanding and yes he is a quiet child. He is 8 and pretty excited himself about going into a higher grade. So, he is also excited mom is going to be doing some studying too :kiss .... oh.. I am and will always be a THRIFTY person.

    April
  8. by   Milehighnurse
    Originally posted by Med409
    Hello to All,

    I am planning to go back to school this fall and I know there are some single parents out there. So, my question is..is how can this be done? I know it will be awhile before I get into the Nursing course...but when I get there how can it be done? They say you practically cannot work and I am the soul provider for me and my son.Med409 (April)
    First off, who are "they" and have THEY ever been a single parent trying to do life and better themselves?
    Yes, it can be done, not always fun or easy, but by God it can be done. I had 3 little ones- 3-7 y/o when I went through my divorce and was in my last year of nursing school ( the most intensive part). Had no family in the area, friends had their own families to deal with. You learn to make it work with what resources you do have available. Know who my greatest support system was? God and my kids. Don't get me wrong, I am not a holy roller, but in tough times you learn to rely on your higher power. When I felt like giving up and crawling under a rock they were there for me. Pretty darn good for little ones! Bottom line is that IF this is something you REALLY want to do, you'll find a way to make it work regardless of the circumstances. Good luck Med.
  9. by   renerian
    I had two kids while in school to get my ADN, 2 months and 2 years. For my BS/MS I had 5.

    renerian
  10. by   TinyNurse
    Great advice from everyone, I couldn't have said it better myself.
  11. by   ainz
    Live cheap. Sacrifice fun stuff. Get used to going without sleep or at least 3 or 4 hours/night. Live cheap. Call the brother, sister, father who is busy Pastor, mother, ask for their help, get the financial aid, get a student loan or two. The student loans are great. I got 2 of them and paid my apartment rent for almost a year with one and bought a car with the other. (Before I did not have a car, didn't abuse the loan, didn't require as much money to live day-to-day because I paid the rent up for 10 months at once.) Live cheap. Study hard. Stay focused on your goal and the benefits you will reap when you finish. My mother made a little crochet-type thing that said "the tassle is worth the hassle." I kept on my desk in my direct line of sight for the last 5 years of college I attended, while working fulltime with family, house, bills, etc. And my last bit of advice is to live cheap. Did I say that already?
  12. by   Dixen81
    Ainz, you are so funny, but so right on! April, you gotta live cheap! Set your priorities and go for it! By the way, there's all kinds of financial aid out there for single women with children. Even housing...check your local public housing agency or HUD. I believe there is even help with daycare. Good luck to you!
  13. by   NHLPN
    How about a Pell grant, or trying for a scholarship? Do they offer a part time nursing program? I went to school on a Pell grant and also won a scholarship. I am in the process of going back for my RN, slowly, one class at a time, and will be getting into an RN program next year. Good luck!!!! and don't get discouraged, things always end up working out.
  14. by   menetopali
    April,

    A couple of quick ideas for you...

    look at cost of schools in different areas and states, you'd be amazed at how much some places cost compared to others. move if you need to to find the best cost of school vs. income potential ratio. look for loans, grants, and scholarships from everywhere. and here's the doozy, get a CNA at night, go to work for a hospital that has a tuition remission program for becoming an RN and try to find others who are or have been where you are to form an interdependant group support. As for the CNA program, many places have free courses that are either operated by a facility in exchange for obligation to work for some fixed period of time or sponsored by the government to boost the number of CNAs in the area (I did this in Loudon County Virginia). Once you're a CNA, many places will help with the tuition (again in return for obligation to work for them) and many CCs and some hospitals even provide access to daycare while at work and in school. hang in there, it can be done, just live cheap, dig up the programs that will help out the most, and remember there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

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