Help I am loosing my mind

betts · Oct 24, 2001

nsmith_rn,

If you're doing your job and you know that you are, then why worry about what others say? :confused:

Integrity is doing the right thing even if no one is watching.

Remember, it's the clients/patients that come first and if they're not complaining...

I've been in nursing 24+years and usually the peers that cause the problems are doing so out of their own shortcomings. Instead of feeling down or saying something that you'll regret, ask them what it is that they are unsure of, that maybe you can help them with.

It's evident to me that your Heart is big or you wouldn't stay in nursing 6 days, much less 6 years.

thisnurse · Oct 24, 2001

i dont know why our profession is like this. it doesnt really matter if you are doing your job or not...its a personality thing. i work with someone who is very lazy but she is popular so nobody says anything about her.

i also work with a very good nurse who is very hard working but she doesnt play the games and wont let the others push her around. she is picked on unmercifully. i stand up for her and i refuse to talk about her or listen to their crap about her. we are so busy i dont see how these nurses find the time to watch what she is doing. but they seem to always have time for that.

new nurses on our unit are eaten alive....by management on down. and they wonder why they cant keep nurses.

ive stayed thru all of this. for a while i was the chosen one. i got written up for the most stupid things and was always getting turned in for the same things all the other nurses do. for me tho it is unacceptable.

ive stayed because i am very strong and i will not let the bullies have their way. i do not socialize with my coworkers. i will not talk about them and dont want to listen to the gossip.

im there to work not to make friends.

stiill it doesnt make it easy being the brunt of everything. some days it was just hard to go to work. its getting easier for me now.

i guess they just had to test me. they now know how much shit ill take.

this is one tuff profession. only you know if you really want to pack it in and try something else. i did that for a while. i came back to nursing.

my brother was in the hospital and i was talking to some of his nurses. i was telling them why i left the profession.

one of them said....you never leave nursing. you cant...you are a nurse, its what you ARE.

he was right.

good luck in whatever you do.

~a fellow chosen one

nightingale, RN · Oct 24, 2001

the sapport that comes from this BB is so comforting.....

My two cents......

Give yourserlf time to smell the roses..... do whatever you can to minimize the negative interaction of nursing...

This might include a change... if you have never tried agency nursing... seriously consider it now.... it frees the spirit of the negative politics you are dealing with now....

It has been my experience that the staff accepts the agency nurse as a blessing to help them get through your day.... There is no time for personal BS and attacks that I often felt as a staff nurse.....

Yes "some day" I hope to become regular staff of a different variation, but after I am certain it is in a healthy, positive, and sapportive environment.

Good luck and blessings to you in any decision you make.....

:) :) :)

micro, RN · Oct 28, 2001

:eek: :eek: :eek:

Hey, BETTS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kudos for what you said!!!!!!!1 Thanks from me and all of us that have been in the profession less than you. Me since 1992, and always trying to compare and please!!!!!!

You are right, I went into nursing in "my second career" for a reason. My past as a patient, my heart which believes in caring for people and knowing where my strengh lies!!!!!\

Far from perfect, but know that I have a place in this nursing/health care field!!!!!!!!!!!

MICRO:( :rolleyes: :) :confused:

Jenny P · Oct 28, 2001

Dear nsmith_rn, I was out of town for several days (at our state MNA nursing convention), so just found your posting and this thread tonight. After checking your bio, I see you have worked Peds, ER, and trauma. Man, that's enough of a load; but then to have abusive and toxic co-workers and others around you can give even a Supernurse (and don't we all know someone who fits that description!) total burnout!

Take some time off- you deserve a mental health day off or 2 to get your head together. And maybe try the agency thing. If nothing else, cut your # of hours at your current workplace just for your own sanity. Life shouldn't be so tough; and there should be a bit of joy in your work, or you do not survive long.

To me, it sounds as though your very soul has run dry, and you need to take care of your self and nourish the inner you. Maybe journaling might help; drinking some tea and watching a sunset; whatever calms and gives you peace.

Please take care of yourself right now. If you do decide to leave nursing, or join an agency, or whatever, re-evaluate your decision in a year and see if things get better or not.

micro, RN · Oct 28, 2001

:rolleyes:

:eek: :confused: :rolleyes: :D

Hey, N smith and others feeling the same!!!!!!!

We need more of you!!!!!!!

Don't know why a caring profession such as ours breeds such uncarind people, but .........

Hang in there,

just me micro, so small cannot even see me

medix_4 · Oct 28, 2001

Don't be sad there are lots of things to enhance your abilities with regards to nursing field same with me I experienced that before but now I even excel in my own field as an ER nurse, the best advice that I can give you is take time to think and then decide what you want to do that you'll know that you'll do good and make the most of it ok!!!

giftedRN · Oct 28, 2001

Hey nsmith,

Hang in there girl! Ignore those people who are negative and continue to believe in yourself. Sometimes when a person cannot measure up to your abilities as a nurse, they become miserable and destructive.

Those people finds fault with everyone including God. Do what you have to do and keep a smile on your face and they will be confused because the enemy likes to see you sad. Always have a song in your heart and be pleasant to them because everyone has a concience, although some people seem not to have any, but they do, and sometimes it eats them to death.

Hang in there friend and remember you are never alone. we are here for you!!

micro, RN · Oct 28, 2001

TAKE MY WORK VERY SERIOUSLY AND MYSELF VERY LIGHTLY!!!!!

This thread needs to go on and on and on!!!!!!!!! Cheaper than therapy and more broadbased and confidential than EAP!!!!!!!

tee!!!! hee!!!!

MICRO------so small I am not here!!!!!

a-rose · Oct 28, 2001

Hi,nsmith_rn

Glad to see you!

How are you now?

Hope you have a good time!

WriteStuff · Oct 28, 2001

:)

nsmith_rn,

I've been at this Nursing thing for thirty years now, and the sad fact is that this nit-picking, back stabbing, one-upmanship behavior is found in virtually every setting where Nurses work. I even pondered the feasibility of applying for a Grant to do a research "study" on this very subject! Maybe one day I will.

Every work setting has it's own "personality", and inevitably the people you describe, and that we ALL know, show up and become the "thorn in the flesh" for the rest of us.

I've decided that such human beings (disguised as "Nurses"), are in reality, VERY insecure, self-absorbed, shallow human beings who are miserable in their own souls. They perpetuate their own "need" to feel "better" about themselves by pointing out the shortcomings of everyone around them. And further more, they are constitutionally incapable of being honest with THEMSELVES.

They are also the same people who have the false idea that they "can do no wrong" in their own eyes........a serious symptom of a major psychiatric disorder.......narcissism.

They haven't yet figured out that their hurtful behavior toward others is a reflection of themselves......"mirroring." They are sad, hurting people, who have personal issues that get "played out" no matter where they are......work, shopping, restaurants, social gatherings, school, in their own homes, everywhere there might be other human beings around.

I think in our setting (work) managers (our bosses) need to take a very serious look at this kind of behavior in terms of "harrassment" toward others. I mean..........SERIOUSLY! If I was a Dir. of Nursing, or a Unit Manager, or a Supervisor, I would have a written Policy in place addressing this very issue. There would be a Zero Tolerance Policy toward sniping, back-stabbing, one-upmanship, and condescending behavior toward peers and colleagues. I would encourage such behavior to be reported to ME, and I would DEAL WITH IT appropriately. The offending Nurse would be required, in my presence, to explain her/his behavior to the Nurse so attacked. We are told over and over again to "just ignore it", but you can hardly "ignore" wolf-pack mentality day after day in our stressful settings. It is NOT enough to believe that "we just need to grow up and get on with it." These poisonous, and toxic attitudes left unchecked, undermine morale in chronic ways, and are the impetus for excellent Nurses leaving the Profession in droves.

For those of you who think my "idea" described above would only create further "hard feelings", I suggest that because my "approach" has never been tried.......how can we know?

Part of our "evaluations" address our Professional demeanor, and that does not only mean in regard to our patients, clients, and family members, but to each other as well. It is not taken seriously enough in today's health care setting.

Just needed to vent my spleen on this one.......because I've been around long enough to watch it get WORSE, not better.

Good, excellent Nurses should NEVER have to decide to LEAVE their work setting because of a handful of bad apples that are spoiling the bunch!!

Thanks for letting me take advantage of freedom of speech once again. :0)

Bonnie Creighton, RN, MHCA

Mental Health Consumer Advocate

JennieBSN · Oct 28, 2001