Have mercy on me, I am supposed to be the strong one

[catrn10]

This is not a Nursing issue, but I had a very bad night tonight. First I get to work and get a phone call about 1930 from my husband that my Mare is in foal and something is wrong. I've had her 19years and so I'm upset.I tell him to call a vet, I'm at work, can't leave, I AM the relief help. Second phone call , she's down and it's bad, he needs help. I can't leave, no way. I call my daughter, she goes over to my house and calls me, it's very bad. Fortunately, by this time another unit is now over staffed, thanks to 2 codes that went bad, Would I like to go home? Not really, but I love my horse and she's dying. I go home, I get here and find out my husband has been calling the same vet, over and over. I try a new one I've never used, and will from now on, he comes over. The Mare is in a bad way. I'm a Nurse, I got a strong stomach, Right? Evidentally not. He says he has to cut the foals head off , it's dead and stuck , the mare will die if he doesn't. My husband holds her head, the vet hold the metal rod in her lady parts, and I have to pull the wire back and forth until it cuts off the head. I am sick, sick, sick. Then we have to pull out the rest of the poor little thing. My mare may die anyway, it's too soon to tell. I can't get the decapitated baby out of my mind. I'm a Nurse, I'm supposed to be strong, but not this! I pray to God I will forget. I am heart broken and I have to tell the kids when they get up. I'm not telling them about the head, I can't. I don't know what I'll tell them if the mare dies. I'm just sick.Thanks for letting me vent.

[nursemike, ASN, RN]

Hadn't seen this thread, before. Phew--it's a tough, but inspiring one.

My heartfelt condolences for your loss (both of them) even as I rejoice in such a magnificent life.

I'm no theologist, but in my heart-of-hearts I just can't imagine a universe in which you won't see her again, someday.

[NeuroICURN]

I too just started reading this thread today. What an amazing horse she must have been!!! Thank you for sharing your stories.

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Animals become like members of our families and we love them just as much!

My heart breaks for you and your family. I hope that someday you will be able to look out to where she is and not feel the pain of her loss, rather the warmth of her life.

Take care,

NeuroICURN

[Gompers, BSN, RN]

i'm so sorry to hear about your loss. i just read this thread for the first time and was so happy when i read the part where she made a full recovery. i was not prepared for the update to this post today, and i'm sure you weren't either. take care, and again, i'm so sorry.

just this side of heaven is a place called rainbow bridge.

when an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to rainbow bridge. there are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. there is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

all the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.

the animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

they all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. his bright eyes are intent; his eager body quivers. suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

you have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. the happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

then you cross rainbow bridge together....

author unknown...

[TexasPoodleMix]

God bless you. She is running right now in perfect weather through grassy fields. You will see her again.

[jnette, ASN, EMT-I]

Wow. I'm deeply touched. ((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))

[leslie :-D]

oh cat, your story touched me deeply. my love for horses cannot compare...

when i was little and used to watch the cowboy movies, i would cry when a horse got hurt....didn't phase me about anything happening to the cowboy.

i too, share texaspoodlemix's vision of her running through a grassy field, with her baby foal alongside her. give time a chance and much much peace to you.

leslie

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

Thanks for the update, I'm sorry to hear about your loss.