Grievance leads to physical conditions?!

[sissiesmama]

Hello - I have a question and wanted to seek any opinions in this matter. Let me start by saying I am more than anything a canine loving person. I do not have any children, my dh has 3 from a previous marriage and I love them, but never gave birth. The younger 2 boys live with us full time and have for over 4 years.

I got my first puppy when I was in maybe 4th grade or so. He was beautiful, just one that someone abandoned. That dog was really one of the most positive aspects of my childhood. He was hit by a car and died at the vet's office not long before I graduated from high school. I took it very hard - my dad still remembers that and told my 2 ds about it.

So after this dog passed away, I waited until I was 22 before I thought about getting another one. Another little mixed breed. "Sam" was also very sweet, and saw me through 2 bad marriages and divorces. He was a 1/2 cocker spaniel, 1/2 g. retriever, and was healthy for the most part. He got arthritis and ended up paralyzed from the waist back and I had to have him put to sleep. It was the hardest decision I have ever been forced to make. I couldn't even give the vet the ok to do it. She called me on my cell phone after he had only been there less than 1 hour, and it just really surprised me. I had to get the vet call my dh to talk to him about it. He died 1 month before his 16th bday. I had him cremated and he sits in a beautiful urn on my dresser.

Brfore Sam died, I did have bouts of HTN, but controlled for the most part on Clonidine po. Sam died in August, and within 2 months, I started having CP and runs of vtach and bigeminy as well as labile HTN. The symptoms were insidious, they didn't just all hit me at once. At first, I just thought I wasn't dealing with it. My PCP dx me also with panic attacks, usually waking me in a cold sweat in the middle of the night with HR up over 150bpm, and having to change the sheets and my pjs. I did see a therapist after he died, but just not really how much it helped.

I did get another puppy, a mini daschund named Sissie after I lost Sam. I does seem like she has helped ease some of the stress and guilt from losing him. Sissie turned 2 in July.

Before I lost Sam, I never had any cardiac dx, no arrythmias, or anything like that.My BP went from being "a littler high" to being as high as 240/160 and taking enough BP meds to choke a horse. I take more meds than my dm and dd combined, and they are in their 70s.

I know about psychosomatics and depression leading to worsening conditions. I just wasn't sure if there were any basis for something like this. I've been in the ER on more than 1 occasion with my HR 150 to 180, and getting converted back to a sinus rhythym with IVP meds. I don't like to think I am a hypocondriac. I know that depression can play havoc on one's physical health. And, I know to some people, a dog is just "a dog", but Sam was there for me for 16 years and I did not have any children.

Don't want to think I'm crazy or anything, just wanted to throw this out there and get some opinions. Any opinions and suggestions welcome. I know it's long and boring, but thanks for reading it.

Anne, RNC :paw::paw::paw: :saint:

[Scooter5]

My heart goes out to you for your loss. I too have only furry children. The loss of any child or pet is a huge loss, and must be grieved. I am sorry you are having such a tough time through this, but I promise you it will get easier. It may be a benefit to talk with a grief counselor. I am glad you have a new pet to share your life with. I think it is important because there are so many needy animals out there. I'm sure Sam is happy you are sharing your time with another pet who needs you.

Best wishes!

[IHeartPhysiology]

I "LOVE" my dog. I "REALLY" love my dog but I would not compare losing a beloved pet to losing a child. They are in no way comparable. I have lost a beloved pet and I have lost a child.

I agree! I'm am really sorry for your loss, though! Grief is VERY overwhelming and it does have very real physical manifestations. Just take things one day at a time and know that throughout the grieving process there will be better times and, well......not so good ones. Take care of yourself as best that you can and remember that what you are feeling is normal. ((((HUGS))))

[sissiesmama, ASN, RN]

bekindtokittens - Thank you for your support. I figured I was the only one who had 4 legged babies, but no human babies. I know some people think I am crazy for falling for my "babies", but, they are my babies.

I got Sissie, my mini weinie dog not too long after Sam passed away, not just to "replace him", but hoping that it may be a little easier having her with me. My dh is so sweet about it,m and he loves Sissie just as I do. And she definetly loves her daddy. I will try to include a picture of Sissie.

Thanks, Anne

[bekindtokittens]

Sissie is absolutely adorable! I've never had a dog, but my husband has, and always mini dachshunds. He loves them, and I see a weiner-dog in my future.

My icon is one of my cats. She's being so lady-like in that picture.

:icon_hug: Hugs to you, and all the animal lovers in this thread.

[justme1972]

I understand how you feel, I really do. I'll never forget the first dog that I lost I cried my eyes out for weeks.

I know that people like having dogs as "part of the family", but I think that this can also lead to problems. Unlike people, dogs have a much shorter life span..so the chances of you outliving 4 to 5 dogs in your lifetime is great.

Animals also cannot tell use when they don't feel well in advance enough to help them. When we mope around we can say, "I'm really dizzy today" or "I feel a cold coming on" or "I'm nauseated today, I don't know why."

Dogs probably go through the same thing...they just snooze instead and we have no idea.

Try to change your mindset by knowing that your dog isn't going to be around forever....I know that's hard. Know that you are going to give that dog the best life possible...but knowing nothing you do is going to last forever.

So far in my life I've lost two Boston Terriers, one to an illness and another due to a dog mauling. I lost a daschund to liver failure, a cat that just hit the road, another cat that someone shot and killed, and most recently a mixed breed that had a passion for chasing cars and she ran out of the house and right into the path of a neighbor's car.

I have a Pug right now that I may have to put down...his mind is good, but he is having breathing problems and I sure don't want them to get so bad that he just stops breathing one day....that would be a horrible death.

You just have to focus on the positive and never let yourself forget that it's a temporary relationship..and I know that takes some of the joy out of it, but for your health, you need to.

We had a neighbor (now, granted, she had other mental problems) that actually went into shock when her poodle died and was hospitalized for almost a week.

So yup, it can affect your health....just like anyone who has lost multiple family members, human or otherwise.