Quote from mx343mom
This was such a touching post. It is the most difficult thing to make the decision to put your loved ones in a nursing home and we all hear horror stories about them . It is so comforting to know there are people who care so deeply about their clients and consider them family. I have had to experience both my parents placed in nursing homes- different ones at different times. It was hard when my mother had a stroke and needed that kind of care. I felt so guilty everytime I left there and never felt like I could spend enough time there .. but she was so well cared for and that was atleast gave me some comfort to leave. It was even more remarkable that her health steadily declined after when the aide who so lovingly cared for her for 7 years developed cancer and could no longer work. My mom had that special bond with her and it was a great loss to her. My father on the other hand had a terminal illness when we placed him and it was the last thing he ever wanted but his pride wouldn't allow me to care for him myself.. it was too embarrasing for him. He declined rapidly but the staff in the nursing home was so wonderful and spoiled him rotten! The day he died several nurses who had not even cared for him that long and didn't even know me at all sat with us for the last 24 hours.. never left my side or his and comforted us both through those last horrible hours while I had to find the strength to tell my daddy it was ok to let go. Those nurses were so wonderful to me and my dad and I was so stunned that they would take so much time with someone they didn't even know and comfort me when I had no one else. One nurse in particular stayed the entire last 24 hours with me.. even her personal time and never left me alone. We laughed and cried like we were family. I never had met her before and I have never seen her again.. but she left the most lasting impression on me about just how caring nurses can be!
And that is what it is all about.. Nursing is caring- with grace and love!
MX, I did this for a woman in my clinical rotation. The ambulance came to take the patient to a nursing home, and as they moved him from bed to stretcher, he began taking his last breaths. It was my first clinical rotation, and first patient I cared for. I was the only one in the room at the time with her and her father, the nurse never came in. I stood by her side through it all with my arm around her. She was shaking so bad I thought she was going to faint, and watched as she cried and told him it was ok to go. I told him it was ok, also, and I was the last person he saw. He didn't look at his daughter as she spoke, he looked at me. (I suppose maybe because I was dressed in all white and had my hair pulled back, or maybe because I was a strange voice.) After he was gone, I hugged her and gave her my sympathies.....then had to go to the nurse and see if she wanted me to do anything more. After clinicals, I had to tell my experience to the class. A few weeks later I got called up in front of the class.....the woman had written a letter to the hospital, which was then forwarded to the director of the program. (I thought I had done something wrong and I thought they were going to kick me out!!) But they told me and my clinical instructor, in front of the whole class about the letter she had written and how much she appreciated that I, as the student, took time out of my work to stay with her. And, truly at that time with her, I thought nothing of it. My clinical instructor knew what was happening and let me experience that on my own. (She did ask me if I wanted her to stay and I said no.) And I made a pact from then on I would never let a patient die alone.
I also had to put my MIL in a nursing home....it is not an easy decision to do something like that, at all.