Good Bye to Nursing for me...

pagandeva2000, LPN · Jan 5, 2007

After the birth of the baby, and some much needed time for reflection, consider another avenue of nursing. I would definitely keep up the license...heck, you earned it! Best wishes!

Sheri257 · Jan 5, 2007

it strikes me that way, too. it amazes me, though, that someone who quit three jobs in six months seems to believe that her problems are everyone else's fault. (and that there are so many members willing to go along with that theory.) i'm not blaming the victim here, but surely she should at least take a look at her own contributions to the problems she was having!

that's also a very good point. none of us are flawless and us new grads also have to take responsibility for our mistakes which, for me at least, are many. i am far from perfect, that's for sure.

:typing

twilite · Jan 6, 2007

In response to Goodbye to Nursing for me.. It seems like a lot of people think we stay in it cause its a challenge and we like a challenge and that sort of thing. My own take on it is that speaking formyself and mnay of my friends. when we initially got into nursing we thought we'd be little Florence Nightengales, helping poor sick people get well, comforting them, feel as though we'd be making a difference and contributing to the well being of our fellow man. What it actually turns out to be is quite different than that. Of course once, you've invested the time, energy, and money to train to be a nurse, and you start getting a little bit of experience, you feel as though you absolutely can't just "leave" furthermore, we make life choices based on our incomes that we depend on from nursing. It's not a fortune but its better than a lot of other jobs out there, and lets face it, we all need the money. We then fall into the trap of thinking someho we're not "good enough" or "fast enough" or patient enough, and start running our own selves down from there. Lots of us that go into the field tend to be co-dependant personalitites who try to fix ourselves by focusing on fixing others. The rewards of gratitude from our supervisors, fellow coworkers, patients, families etc. it usually not readily forthcoming, so we push ourselves even harder chasing that carrot of recognition and appreciation. However after a time we slowly realize that no matter what we do enough is just never enough. We learn that "everything" is our fault. Even if what is expected of us isn't even humanly possible. But they persist in putting the guilt trips on us anyway, (us being women and known to be nurturers) They manipulate us, denigrate us, and if we do get hurt on the job, it's usually met with annoyance and attitude as to how it must be "our fault" that we got hurt. We aren'tallowed any of the common courtesies enjoyed by many other jobs or professions such as "are you feeling any better?", its usually "when will you be back to work again, because of YOU, the floor is running short, patient care is suffereing". Sorry folks, but we need to stand united as a group and demand some respect and dignity for all the hours of hard emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual work that is required of us. And YES they do expect us to be nothing short of PERFECT. Hey, we're only poor human beings doing the best we can with the best of intentions trying to do a good job and make a living at it, and how many times is it thrown in our face about, "you could be wriitten up for this", You could lose your job for this, or my special favorite "This could MEAN your license". Running us and running us to the ground like scared little rabbits. Again, where's our respect? where's our dignity....

Gromit · Jan 6, 2007

Well, each of us has entered for our own reasons -and somewhere there is a thread that addresses that exact topic -and I gave up keeping up with it some time ago, but the reasons behind each persons' desire to enter this field were varied to a remarkable degree -sure, many entered for the same reason as well, but it was kind of amazing to see how diverse a background each of us seemed to have, who were entering.

As for being amazed at how many were 'buying into' the story of the person who started the thread, it should also be amazing about how many of us seem to be able to relate to some of the horror stories that this person is giving as the reason for quitting the profession.

angel337, MSN, RN · Jan 6, 2007

i have a friend that lasted less than a year in nursing. she blamed the nursing profession as a whole saying that all nurses were evil people who intentionally tried to make her life miserable. well, 5 years after she left the nursing profession, she still can't keep a job, she bounces from one thing to the next. all of her other "careers" were in corporate, business and a few others. she finally married a guy who makes alot of money so she can stay at home. she admits that the bottom line is that she really does not want to work or work hard. she simply got a degree so that her parents would not be dissapointed about all the money they put up for her college education. the point i am making here is that it's OK not to like the career you chose, just take some time to reflect if you contributed in any way. it will help you make wiser decisions in the future.

Gromit · Jan 6, 2007

Aye, and then there are those folks in life like you just described. Personally, I pity them. How can one truly be happy or live a 'fulfilled' life if they have no self-worth of their own? They are truly a 'kept' person.

Perhaps thats enough for some, but for me, that would never do. -Though I certainly wouldn't mind being independantly wealthy :)

russ11 · Jan 6, 2007

my new years resolution many years ago was that i was no longer going to put up with anyone being nasty to me or my co-workers...doctors, other co-workers, patients...i'm not talking about people being snappy during stressful situations i'm referring to people who bully and belittle others on purpose. my new motto is from the movie thelma and louise "you get what you settle for" . these personality types are bullies and they single out people least likely to defend themselves. i often function as the trauma/float nurse and am expected to help everyone .if i am present when any type of verbal abuse occurs i make it my business...i am polite but very firm.

recently a doctor who has a reputation for being difficult (especially to new nurses) was nasty on the phone was being verbally abusive to a new nurse (near tears). she was trying repeatedly to tell this doctor that his patient was not doing well and i could tell he was being hateful...i interupted the nurse, took the phone and explained that "liz" was going on break and i would be taking care of her patients. i said i understand liz has explained her concerns to you and i need to know what you want me to do...when he started berating me i said "we have called you because we have concerns and there has been a change in your patients condition, i will be glad to take additional orders from you but i will not be yelled at because i am trying to do what is best for your patient...if you continue i am going to hang up," he continued , i again stated that i was going to hang up , when he started in again i hung up. he called back furious and demanded to speak with liz... i said "liz was very upset about the way you were treating her earlier, she will no longer be taking your calls concerning this patient...my name is 'mary' and i will be the nurse taking care of this patient now ...what can i do for you?..." he gave me new orders and told me he was coming in...after some discussion about his interaction with liz i pointed out that he had a reputaion of being difficult ...he then asked me to appologize to liz for him...i said "i think that is something you need to do personally...if there is nothing else you need from me now i will get started on these orders." he had previously treated liz rudely but after this day he was a totally different person to her.

when co-workers say things to newcomers in in front of others whoever is present should say "i think ya'll need to discuss this in private" and then walk off...no audience... with patients i usually say "i know you don't feel well but i am not going to be talked to in this manner...i will be back in a few minutes" and i leave ...usually the most obnoxious patients are the least sick and a few minutes of "wait therapy" gives them time to ponder the wisdom of being rude to the person that gives the pain meds, gets the pillow/blanket and coordinates their care. i find that addressing the issue immediately usually alters the behavior. avoiding the issue almost guarantees the behavior will escalate.

some infamous bad behavior divas need a more direct approach... once 'god's right hand man' (a neurosurgeon) was "off the chain" about something and began screaming at me about a hospital policy. (i wasn't even involved with his patient just happened to be there)

i said "you may talk to your wife and children like this or maybe your office staff but not me ...i'm not the cause of your problems and i am not going to be blamed for them and i certainly don't have to put up with your bad behavior." and i walked off. much to his dismay a short time later he realized i was the only person in our whole departmant who was trained to monitor the icp monitor he wanted to insert in the er...our hospital has a policy that prohibits inserting icp monitors in the er but allows exceptions when the patient is critical and there is a nurse available who is certified to monitor it. on this day the patient was not critical but he did not want to wait(had dinner plans) while the patient was transferred to the or or neuro icu. my cn left it up to me and then made him ask me if i would be willing to assist him and monitor his patient even though it did not fall into the exception clause of the policy...i agreed, i was polite but avoided his attempts to "chat" and only gave short answers to direct questions during the procedure . to this day he goes out of his way to be nice to me .... and usually looks for me anytime he has a patient in our department...

the longer you tolerate bad behavior the worse it will become. i'm a firm believer that in all aspects of your life "you get what you settle for"

CseMgr1, ASN, RN · Jan 6, 2007

Definitely keep your license up. I plan on keeping mine active until the day I die. A lot of effort and heartache went into that little wallet-sized piece of paper! :lol2:

burnay76 · Jan 6, 2007

I would really have to disagree with those trying to put the burden on you. I think toxic work environments in nursing are the rule, not the exception. However, as a nurse, we are expected to tolerate this and accept this. I think, chances are, that you have been given a bad lot in each of these situation and don't have thick enough skin to deal with it. The bottom line is that you shouldn't have to deal with it. If a preceptor was worth anything then they would find a gentle way to let you know that you have a problem, or to gently steer you out of nursing if indeed you just aren't going to cut it. Nurses deal compassionately with very difficult situations on a daily basis, yet will approach a new nurse with such crassness and righteous indignation every time they make a small error - this is not teaching. Imagine how screwed up we all would be right now if our grade school teachers called us out and made us feel worthless everytime we made a mistake. Problem is many nurses are terrible teachers. A good teacher has a love of knowledge and genuine wish to pass it on. Most (not all) preceptors do it for the extra money or because it is expected of them - not because they truly want to.

All this translates into making a very bad profession to enter into. I have been out of school 6 months and I am in my second hospital. I left my first hospital because I couldn't stand the people i was working with. My performance was fine, I was pleaded with not to resign - but I just hated it. I have since moved into a great hospital, like the work and even thought I liked the people. However, I was pulled into my managers office the other day and she had the intention of firing me. Turns out that various day shift nurses (I work nights)have been complaining they felt I was practicing unsafe or not taking the effort to do things right. I offered to resign with no hard feelings but asked for specific problems I had so that I could correct them in the future. We reviewed each one and I identified in each case why I acted as I did, and produced policy to back it or demonstrated there was no policy and that my actions were still prudent and in accordance with standard nursing practice. The end result was the Nurse manager changing her mind and deciding I was not given a fair chance.

This is perhaps a rare incidence where management is reasonable. However, the point is that I have done everything right and the environment is so toxic that my peers hunt for things to make me look bad (don't get me wrong, I'm not perfect, I screw up - but it's little things that we all tend to do).

I guess the truth of the matter is I generally do not like working with nurses. I really don't feel like I have joined a profession at all. I am also an elementary school teacher by trade and can tell you the professional attitude in that field is light years beyond nursing. Nursing, by comparison, seems like a bunch of children squabbling for their piece of the pie.

I think I am done with nursing myself and will seek out a teaching position in the next academic year. There are so many other professions out there - i guess you grow thick skin and learn to tolerate nursing or you find a field that is more sane.

Epona · Jan 6, 2007

Russ11... that is the best post I have ever read on this messageboard and agree with you 100 percent. How long have you been in Nursing... you have great wisdom.

Burnay76... you have only been out of school for 6 months. Don't give up!! There are other nursing options out there... not just hospitals!

annlvn · Jan 7, 2007

I can remember when I first got out of school and I quit my first job, I walked out without a notice because a CNA I hade written up threatened me. It freaked me out considering I had not worked in seven years, I was a stay at home mom. I to didn't need to work my husband made good money. I was ready at that time to give up nursing, what I did instead was find another form of nursing I became a school nurse. That is the wonderful thing about the field of nursing there are many different types of jobs. So you found out you don't like working the the hospitals, How about home health? Or check out the school districts. It would be a shame to just throw away your education. I have been in nursing now for fifteen years and at times I get tired of it, but for the most part I love it, I would suggest you look around and find the perfect nursing job for you. Nurses are a precious commodity, don't ever forget that.

allantiques4me · Jan 7, 2007

Well, the start of a new year and I'm kissing nursing
good bye after only 5 short months. I graduated in may and started at a hospital in august. My very first preceptor was a nightmare, on my 3rd day on the floor she said I was too slow and put me down in front of other
nurses or whoever was in distance of hearing her. At one
point she even said, "well, I have her she know's nothing I have to show her everything." So being enthusiastic I decided NOT to let it get to me and proceeded to take her C*ap for another couple of weeks. At which time I was moved to a different floor with a preceptor who was great and I learned alot from. PRoblem was at this hospital IF
I wanted to stay I'd have to take a evening position. SO I left a found a hosptial closer to home on days. Well, once again I have the preceptor from hell not only that but the managers In my opinion are nitpickers. ON my first day on the floor they wrote up a nurse who was in charge of making sure all the phones were back at the end of the day, for not having a phone returned. (someone took one home accidentally).. I found this ridiculous, it's a busy med/surg floor with an 8:1 patient ratio and they are worried about PHONES???? I could go on and on about the other horrors but it would be to long.
Long story short I've decide to quit. Luckily I don't NEED the job to support myself or I wouldn't be able to leave. my hubby makes a decent salary. I do feel bad placing all the financial burden on him but I'm planning on just picking up a admin position somewhere. I don't care if I'm making half the money I jsut want to be happy. I'm so SICK of being stressed going into work, stressed coming home, worrying about this, being stressed on the floor. To me its just not worth it. My hubby is worried that I'll change my mind and want to come back to nursing but won't be able to after leaving 2 prior positions. bUt seriously I can't imagine feeling this way.
I also just found out I'm expecting my first child and I really can't imagine the stress level as well as not eating/drinking/peeing an entire shift is good. So I'm gone. I give up, I give in, I just feel like I can't do it. I'm thinking I'm just not meant to be in nursing, or i woudn't have just kept inheriting bad circumstances and preceptors from hell.
Well, I'd love to hear if anyone else has left nursing? come back and any other thoughts you all might have.
Hope this is a good new year for all.

Girlie.God bless you on the expectation of your first baby.Think about this.You went to and graduated nursing school! That, in itself ,is a huge accomplishment!!you need a little self esteem.im sorry you have had to tolerate these unprofessional,inconsiderate and nurses with no compassion.Be strong!You said you were fortunate enough to have one wonderful preceptor.There are more nice people than evil ,like youve encountered lately.Also ,think about this,yeah, today your husband can support your family,.What if tomorrow he is disabled or worse????If you give up nursing ,then what??But if you continue to learn and grow in nursing,youll be able to support your family if need be.You never knows what tomorrow holds.No one can take away the education that you have earned.Be strong and try to be confident.You wouldnt even have graduated if you werent able to do it.!Please do not give up!!!Also ,you can look in other areas such as home care,LTC,community nursing,pediatrics,geriatrics ortho,ect.ect.You might need to find your niche.I know,been there,done that!!You could even take time off to raise your baby,then take a refresher course later.bUT DONT GIVE IT UP!!!!