feel guilty not contributing

[jo272wv]

We had this nurse retire last year, this year she came on hard times and our floor took up a collection for Christmas. No specifics on what was wrong which I appriciated the confidentiality of the situation. When I started and until she retired she always went out of her way to be mean and hateful to about 75% of the staff, especially newbies. I dreaded when I had to work with her and to make matters worse see was always in charge. The day she retired was a blessing for me. I am not a spiteful person and would give the shirt off my back if someone really needed it. I did not give any money to this fund and it is over now but I feel really guilty because it is Christmas and one is supose to forgive. Has anyone else ever been in this situation and what did you do.....

[GingerSue]

this is what I have considered in these kinds of situations

it's usually a good idea to give something, even if it's small amount

because your co-workers will notice if you don't give anything, and that might set you apart

your employer might notice, and this will reflect on how they perceive you

even when it's someone who you don't particularly like, when it is a group thing - you have to decide if you want to be part of the group or not

(thoughtful incident - a person who was nasty to me, for no reason, other than - general nastiness, donated when I approached him for a cause, and even offered to help me when I had trouble with my car - so you see - even these nasty ones will shine - sometimes)

sometimes, though, a person really can't afford to donate, and when that is your experience, then you can say to yourself the reality of your own situation is such that you simply cannot

[classicdame, MSN, EdD]

If she were really having a hard time one gift would not make a significant differance anyway. Imean, the only difference it can make is to YOU.So give where your heart is.

[Pepper The Cat, BSN, RN]

To give or not to give is an individual choice. If you really don't want to , don't. If you feel you should for your own conscience, give a token contribuition - $2, $5, something small. You can say that you contibuted, yet are still true to your own conscience.

[jo272wv]

Thanks you all, because of all your comments I just sent out a second check to the St. Judes Hospital in this nurses name.

Merry Christmas to all.

[psalm, RN]

...or something, like a small fruit or non-perishable basket or some veggies from your garden. And pray for her situation, as one mentioned, maybe the Lord is allowing her to go thru a bad time to help her reflect on things.

...but you don't have to answer to anyone but God and yourself!

...I used to get a hassle coz I don't give to United Way, coz management wanted 100% participation. The fact that our family gives anonymously to others and to organizations wasn't enough, hahaha! Don't give out of guilt.

[GardenDove]

If you are feeling guilty, give money to starving children. I don't see why you should feel obligated to anyone at work, other than being a helpful and willing coworker. Why should you give money to someone who gave you grief? Yes, you can work on forgiveness (from a distance as someone said), but that needn't entail forking over hard earned cash.

[ccyrrus]

I am so glad that I work in a place that has strict "No Solicitation" rules. I wish it was this way everywhere. People do feel guilty about not contributing, even if they can't afford to do so. A couple of dollars here and a couple of dollars there, doesn't seem like that much money---until you start adding it all together. I have worked in places in the past, where it seemed like somebody was holding their hand out several times a week. One time (at a previous employment) I was hit up for money, four different times for four different people, in an eight hour shift! These people all worked in another department, and I didn't know any of them! That was an expensive night for me! But I was young, and didn't want to create hard feelings. It's hard to say "no" to people, especially this time of year. But I found that if I gave to every "hardship case" then it wouldn't be too long, before I became a "hardship case", myself.

Don't feel guilty. You have to think about yourself, too!