Does God Make Mistakes? - page 8
by Julie Reyes, DNP, CPNP-AC, RN 26,315 Views | 84 Comments
I looked up at the doctor across the crib who is still hovering over him and checking his ventilator and trachea. Wildly he flailed as the doctor touched his abdomen. I tried to calm him by holding his hand. This is the first... Read More
- 0Jul 24, '09 by FranEMTnurseCardiacnurse2006,
I'm sorry you are in so much pain. None of us really knows why we are either unable to conceive, but over the several years of my life I have seen an increase in infertility. I lost a baby in my first trimester, and it felt like my baby had died. It took a long while before I could come to terms with that loss and accept it. When I lost my baby, I held it's tiny body all curled up in the fetal position, studying its features; its puffy tiny cheeks, studying to see if it had 10 fingers and toes, its tiny nose, and the perfect circles where its eyes were yet to form. Then after a while sitting on the bathroom toilet where I gave it birth, my baby who had features a lot like my oldest daughter, melted before my eyes.
Do we know why these things happen? I don't think so. All I know is that I can still see that tiny baby in my mind's eye. Perhaps one of the causes to infertility is caused by the artificial food additives that are put into our food?
You have my deepest condolences.:icon_hug:
- 1Jul 24, '09 by USMCLynchPrincessThis story was so touching. My brother was born with cerebral palsy. He went through 30+ surgeries in his lifetime, and I'm sure you could draw the conclusion of how many doctor visits and hospital stays that means. He passed away last October at the age of 31, a long time for someone to live with the severe case of CP that he had. The last two months of his life he spent in and out of the hospital, and I asked the same question about God making mistakes so many times. After he died I really go bitter and kept on asking. But I couldn't imagine my life without him. He was my mom's whole world, and he responded to her better than anyone else just like the boy in the story. I was never settled with the thought of him suffering so long because I thought we were being selfish. But I also know it would be so hard to have let him go any sooner. It's a hard situation, and you have to understand that before you judge other people and the decisions they make about their kid's/families lives. As a nurse, you can care about the child, but making those kind of decision is NOT your place.
- 2Jul 27, '09 by Artistyc1Quote from nurseatrest1963Not to take anything away from your experience, but as a very long time OB nurse- several reasons that babies that are not expected to survive are delivered vaginally, and NOT just because of money- every incision into the uterus has implications for the mothers future fertility. Also, a vaginal birth does allow the mother the ability to gather her belongings after the delivery,go home to her loved ones, and prepare for the funeral of her much wanted baby. If she has a c-section, often she will continue to be cared for on a unit that has mothers with live babies. Just my experience.By the way...I forgot one major issue...they wanted to have a vaginal birth...cost effective for a person with no insurance!, vs C-section....I hope these kind of choices don't become the norm due to government involvement in our health care system...It really is yet to be seen, as for right now, I think we hear what the govt wants us to hear...
- 0Jul 27, '09 by nurseatrest1963Artistyc1, you are right on all accts...But in this situation the Dr, actually stated the stress of the delivery would cause the birth of the baby be a still birth...and that it would be traumatic on the baby, and the vaginal canal...He expected problems... and even comented that this situation could cause problems for my daughter in the future...anyway...and I made sure that my daughter went to surgical floor, not OB with new babies on the floor....I have experienced this first hand as a nurse before (where the baby didn't survive, and they were placed on a floor with crying newborns...very traumatic for the mother/family)...Thanks for your coments...
- 0Jul 28, '09 by MaritesaRNQuote from nurseatrest1963Artistyc1, you are right on all accts...But in this situation the Dr, actually stated the stress of the delivery would cause the birth of the baby be a still birth...and that it would be traumatic on the baby, and the vaginal canal...He expected problems... and even comented that this situation could cause problems for my daughter in the future...anyway...and I made sure that my daughter went to surgical floor, not OB with new babies on the floor....I have experienced this first hand as a nurse before (where the baby didn't survive, and they were placed on a floor with crying newborns...very traumatic for the mother/family)...Thanks for your coments...
:heartbeatI am really surprised that the OB floor does not have a policy or procedure to follow as to where to put the mother and the dead baby......... considering the trauma the mother and the family are going through and hearing all those live crying babies is just too mcuh to bear-- it is like rubbing salt on an open wound!! I hope they will find a place --away from the OB for mothers who have still births. Anyone worked in a hospital w/ a much compassion and understanding policy for mom w/ still births?
- 2Sep 26, '09 by srbaggettMy great niece was born and her parents were told to take her home and love her until she died. She had a very high spina bifada and never raised her head. Even as family members looking in, there were times that we all wondered "Why"?She did not speak, we did not know what she could hear or if she could see. She was total care. Her parents did not see her as a disability. They loved her and praised her birth. The connection between my nephew and his wife was there in the loving way that Victoria looked at them. Every year they had a celebraton of life on her birthday. There were times that over 100 people were there to celebrate her existence. She touched many lifes. Sadly, one year ago we lost our Victoria. She was nine years old. Her shunt blocked and her brain herniated. She had suffered many things in the nine years that she was here on earth. She had coded more than once and could no longer regulate her own body temperature. Many testimonials were given at her funeral and how she had touched peoples lives. I see my niece and nephew in the reflection of that baby's life in your story. It is hard not to question when people are given such great sadnesses. But, like in your story, my niece and nephew never questioned God. Their strength and faith grew even stronger in the caring of Victoria. These parents do not see it as tragedies. They rejoice and deal with each day as it comes.