Do Not Enter - No Boys Allowed; Setting Boundaries - page 4

by tnbutterfly Admin

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DO NOT ENTER - NO BOYS ALLOWED!!! As a child, my family took yearly vacations to a location that was more than 1,000 miles away. That meant many long hours in the car, sharing the back seat with my older brother. YUCK!! We... Read More


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    I'm a boy
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    Quote from Saiderap
    Dating patients? I think it makes a difference which patients we're talking about.

    I have also heard of a legal limitation that says you should not date them until several months after services have ended.

    It also makes a difference what motivates the the health worker to have a relationship with them.

    The facility in which you work may have specific regulations for dating or having sexual relationships with patients.

    In addition, The National Council of State Boards of Nursing says this about sexual misconduct:
    If the client/patient consents and even if the client initiates the sexual conduct, a sexual relationship is still considered sexual misconduct for the health care professional. It is an abuse of the nurse-client relationship that puts the nurse's needs first. It is always the responsibility of the health care professional to establish appropriate boundaries with present and former clients.


    This refers to professional boundaries for the nurse which I will discuss in another segment.
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    Quote from Saiderap
    How can I get my co-workers to understand that I DO NOT want to argue with them and I DO NOT want to have a big confrontation or a big production??
    We have work to do, it needs to get done right now and our employer does not pay us to have a big confrontation during the time when we are supposed to be finishing our work.
    I notice also sometimes that I get no credit for complying with their requests. They just want to have a confrontation and an argument. They keep it going even as I carry out their requests.
    Why do they want to have an argument with people who are trying to comply with their obligations?
    I have tried avoiding eye contact, not answering them and agreeing with what they say, and doing what they ask and it does not do any good.
    In a lot of work places, the demonic controllers drive out the good people.


    Quote from Meg, RN
    *sigh* Unfortunately, going down your list, I feel like my current job as all of these characteristics and more! Nurses who dump all kinds of tasks on me at the end of my shift when I'm trying to go home. Example: having to do stuff like NG tubes etc. I was literally chased down the hall by a coworker when I had my purse and lunchbox in hand to walk out the door (when I already handed off report) to start an IV on a combative patient that wasn't even mine! The nurse hadn't even tried to stick the patient either! So annoying! Annnnd, having worked the night before, gotten off at 7 a.m. only to have the charge nurse call me at 2 pm, wanting me to come in early for my next shift that was at 7 pm that evening! So mad! I refuse to do that kind of crap anymore, because there's no way any of my coworkers would return the favor. I'm trying to find work elsewhere needless to say...I love nursing! I just don't like how ridiculous things have gotten at my current job.

    Both of these responses are example of boundary conflicts among people with different types of characteristics. The co-workers who want to argue are definitely controllers. In the second example, the nurses who are dumping on others are also controllers. These are agressive controllers. They have no respect for others' boundaries.

    On the other side is the one who wants to comply.....the compliant. ( This actually is a category) They feel guilty and/or controlled by others. The compliant needs to speak up and maintain their boundaries.

    I will address other types of boundary problems by category in another segment.
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    Quote from tnbutterfly
    Regarding the section which I highlighted......are these nurses "repeat offenders"? If so, they are manipulating you. They know you can't say no. They will continue to do this as long as you let them, and that really does no one any favors in the long run.......especially you. The word will get out that you are a softie and others will do the same. You are going to get burned out and your resentment will build up. Saying no is not always wrong. In this case, not saying no is wrong.

    Thanks for posting.
    They are repeat offenders. I am getting better at saying no, with the help of a couple of other nurses who see what's happening, and my DON. Thanks!
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    Saying no can be difficult for some. I'm glad you have others to back you up and give you support. You can't change those offenders.... You can only change the way you react to their requests. They have to change themselves.

    Keep us updated.
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    Moved to General Nursing Discussion.


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