Dear preceptor - page 16

by Ivanna_Nurse 60,497 Views | 175 Comments

Dear preceptor.. I came to you smiling, full of energy and ready to tackle the last leg of my orientation journey, with your guidance of course. I haven't really gotten any inclination on where that guidance is at. You tell me... Read More


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    I am sorry that this was your experience of preceptorship. Although it's difficult when your emotions
    are 'stretched' in so many directions, we all need challenging from time to time on how we are relating
    to others. I think developing skills of assertiveness is an integral part of development as a nurse.
    I think some direct communication about the issues you mentioned and how they made you feel, may have caused your preceptor to reconsider her 'style'. 'Speaking the truth in love' is powerful. Whatever our level of experience,
    we have much to learn from each other. I hope you go from strength to strength and your experiences make you a
    sensitive and thoughtful preceptor in due time.
    Ivanna_Nurse, PherbRN, and cjsbaskets like this.
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    As a preceptor, my empathy goes out to you for having to deal with less than an ideal situation for learning, and becoming a new staff member. TO all who read these, if you are ever placed with a preceptor with whom you are not satisfied: 1. Tell your immediate supervisor or training department, this is not a sign of weakness; but a yearning for a true, healthy experience. 2. If the organization leaders have no understanding of your circumstance, then perhaps that is not the optimum work environment; although you will encounter a bumpy day every now and again, your preceptor should be setting you up for success! Remember, that organization is looking for staff for a reason, it may be that the organizations supports a lack of team association and enables isolation of its professionals, that is one reason why people leave an organization! Find a place that truely embraces your talent, as you demonstrate the appropriate compassion and approach to nursing that deserves embracing!
    my2bitz, KarenBuley, cjsbaskets, and 1 other like this.
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    Quote from Ivanna_Nurse
    Ok, so this is a vent. I apologize for the length of this post. Please note that this is not meant to be a general statement of my opinion on a whole group of people. Dont flame me. Im mad and tired and dont have anyone else to tell.

    Dear preceptor.. I came to you smiling, full of energy and ready to tackle the last leg of my orientation journey, with your guidance of course. I haven't really gotten any inclination on where that guidance is at. You tell me what patients to take, and I take them. Then when I am at the bedside, communicating with the family (you know that rapport thing?), you decide that it is a great time to tell me *not to touch the patient*, or the machines for that matter unless you are there. What? I did not fall off of the nursing school wagon yesterday. I am new to your facility, but not a new grad. I did get a smug sense of satisfaction when the family told you it was fine and I was handling things.

    I see that you do not have any intention of assessing my skill level or evaluating areas in which I need assistance. In your eyes, I have no skill level or even brain stem function because every action on my part is met by you with some sort of resistance or interrogation. You cant wait for me to come out of the bathroom before you call the doc... making me look like some sort of fool that cant call the doctor. Lo and behold the toilet flushes and I am greeted with 75 orders, all of which you *write* but make me *do*. Although I am a critical care nurse, and am comfortable with bedside procedures, it is *imperative * on your part to ensure that I am educated on sterile fields and how to open packages. That makes me feel so great, especially with the doc at the bedside.

    Precepting with you has given me a great opportunity to practice dealing with "the cold shoulder, being aloof and unapproachable." I *know* that you aren't any of those things, just preparing me for when I run into someone who is. Thanks! I am now well versed in forced conversation, fake enthusiasm, and being lonely but not alone.

    I have been practicing my mental, telepathic and psychic abilities... seeing as how there isn't any verbal interaction between us, its time to take it up a notch. *places fingertips to temples* Can you hear me now?

    Here is an interesting thought. You breeze in, tell me how the lights have to be like this, and these lines need to be like this and so on. I am respectful of those requests. I like things a certain way too.. try to be mindful of that. The road goes both ways here. The same goes for documentation. Maybe you could ask me why I wrote a cetain thing before you scratch it out and write error... although all the extra embellishments make my flow sheet look freakin fantastic, right?

    When I ask you about something, especially when its a policy and the rationale for not following it... I just love when you get mean and flash those *knowing* looks to all your friends at the desk.

    Precepting with you has been quite the experience, and as life goes, all things must come to an end. Now that our journey is finished, know that I will *never* forget you.

    Love, your preceptee
    Playing devils advocate here, I would remind you that in NS it would be taught that regardless of how many years experience you may have in field, in this case you are considered a "novice". And that being humble is an element of critical thinking. To get a true feel for the story we would have to hear the other persons side as well though.
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    This story is the original poster's and it is extremely well done for someone who is mad and tired. I think this is a terrific point of view. I'd be curious to know how things are going all this time later. I'm not sure what "true feel" means. There's a boatload of feelings here. Intentions and reactions of others are interpreted here but why not? It's a post, not a court trial.
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    Care, I guess I should clarify further for the sake of the discussion.....I was a critical care nurse previously, CCRN and ACLS cert, as well as a preceptor myself. With that being said, I was ENDING my 5 month orientation, with 2 weeks on nights (6 shifts....) I sure as hell better know how to run the CVVH and touch the pumps... justa thought.

    To Reddy, its been fine. As soon as I was done with her I felt so much better. My patients and their families are always happy to see me. Thank you for your post.

    ~Ivanna
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    Quote from SweetDreamsRN
    Laurie,
    Keep your chin up and just roll with the punches. Those nurses are acting really stupid. Ignore them put them on extinction you are not there to be their BFF( best friend forever). Figure out exactly which nurses you are accountable to and develop communication and dialogue with them. Stand your ground. You have to be large and in charge to survive sometimes.New nurses are threatening to some of those nurses who have been on the same unit forever and think they know it all. Take them out of THEIR comfort zone and they no doubt would have to ask for assistance to get things done. Always say please and thank you and be open minded flexible alert and willing to learn.If you do that you will find some emotionally intelligent nurses who will help you develop your skills. I took my fair share of harassment when I was a newbie too from many sadistic R.N.'s BUT I also encountered an equal amount of sweet intelligent patient R.N.'s who wanted to teach me and help "grow" me into a competent nurse. Looking back I am sure I seemed pathetic hilarious obsessive compulsive slow too detail oriented and someone to giggle about behind my back.I managed to align myself with people who saw me as an asset
    Thank you SweetDreamsRN for going through the process and coming out the other side.
    I never gelled with my preceptor- oh joy how did that happen! We've not even started it yet and I'm a year post grad, really can't face the prospect so I guess it's totally my fault. She's the kind of self-centred nurse who would say 'don't you know who I am?' to a patient, she's also unsympathetic, rude, and tries to make an idiot out of you in front of other people. She's already called me fool before for reading the extremely messy rota wrong one week(???). The biscuit was telling me off in front of other members of staff for doing my job, I went to pieces, of course when she sat me down for a 'talk'. I did tell her a few home truths though- us newbies only seems to learn when we do something wrong and are chastised or mocked, and we do not feel supported when we are on our own with a severely deteriorating patient.

    I will take your advice and try to stand my ground more, it's hard when I can't answer back with good enough rationales as they can but I will just tell it from my angle. Large and in charge! Still not sure whether I should just grin and bear it with the preceptorship or try and change it to another person and face the consequences?
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    I am experiencing something very similar. I am over 40, but have only been a RN for less than 2 years. I recently switched jobs and my preceptor treats me like her gopher. I am not a new nurse to train, but a transporter and a patient baby sitter while she takes extra smoke breaks. Never once has she ever taught me anything. She will answer questions, but the same question, may have multiple answers, even if the scenario is identical, depending upon her mood. I never have any valid insight on any patient and if I fail to obtain IV access, the patient is definitely not a hard stick, even if my preceptor ends up placing the IV in the ventral wrist area.

    Whether one wants to be a preceptor or not, teaching is part of being a nurse. Do you really expect me to believe that a nurse can teach patients, but not other nurses? I think preceptors should be evaluated by new employees and that the feedback should factor into yearly evaluations. If this were the case, I bet even marginal preceptors would get reasonably high marks due to the effort put forth. I'm not asking for a professor, just someone who puts forth some genuine effort to orient me, if not for me, then for the patients I will care for in the future. How can I truly learn any quality skills when you expect me to jump on a moving ride with no explanation or preamble, only correction when I am set up for failure? I cannot know, what I do not know, I need to know.
    nyforlove likes this.
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    A bad preceptor, and I had two of them, takes away confidence, destroys dreams, makes one feel like they have been crapped on, let down, stepped on, spit on. One of my preceptors got fired 6 months after graciously allowing me.."what's her name"...do a lot of busy work (CNA work) who did not bother to call me and say "I won't be there please don't drive 1 hour for nothing and have to go back home and waste 5 hours of your day in preparation". Yes it was sweet to hear "your preceptor, the one that was so crappy to you, got fired for stealing a hydrocodone, obviously she'd been doing it more than once! but she got caught and fired on the spot". That firing did not and has not boosted my deflated ego..oh I won't forget her! The last day, her signing my papers, in front of 6 of my peers, I tried to put on a smile, as she looked bothered for being asked to sign and fill out my evaluation, looked at me and said "now, what was your name anyway...I forgot." what a bone head. Presently, I am out of work. Thinking I may never go back, its not the nursing, I could work 20 hour shifts and not eat.
    nyforlove likes this.
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    I too have a mentor who could only see the negative things I do. I cannot ask question when we are in the room. So far we've only spent 18 hours (3 days, third day is 2nd week) together but majority of that is probably sitting around by myself. First day with no plan, tells me about pt in 100 miles/hr speech. Expect me to read his mind what the do's and don't's. And tell me the third day, I am not getting it when he has not tell me really anything except when he wants too. Tells me to read flow sheet when he sees me doing nothing, read a nurse note of previous shift, expect me to take this in the 2nd day, and know the meds the patient have. I do not have access to computer and the chart, you could only read so much. Yes, once in awhile, I forget stuff, I guess I am not allowed. All he keeps telling me is how seasoned nurse will eat me alive, how docs will not want to work with me, how patient sees that I am not confident. I am not afraid to show I am not confident, because it is true. Not yet, anyway. I may not be as quick or as confident, but I know I will be as time comes. Isn't it? Unless, I am just really dumb but I don't think I am. He tells me I am not focusing my energy to the right place, but he is not helping me either. Leaving me all alone, while he is in the computer checking his facebook. When I tried to have conversation with other nurses who is willing to talk to me, which I thought was okay with him and at the end, he now thinks I am not focusing my energy. He tells me at times to help nurses, but yet I hear negative things about it. So what should I expect on my fourth day? I am not allowed to interrupt him when he is writing because I could easily make a mistake. So when should I? I feel like a kid that is only allowed to speak when spoken to, ask question only when given the signal to ask question. Is that right?
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    I am feeling bad for all the peeps with bad preceptors. When I took a preceptor course in 2002 and shortly after had to precept I regretted it myself..As many bad habits I had collected I had to drop because I felt I owed new nurses the right to learn the proper way to perform their duties as staff nurses. In other words when I was a preceptor there were no shortcuts or sneaking off the floor or any of the bad habits many nurses get over the year. I just felt I owed new nurses the opportunity to learn the proper way and not my way. I think it is one of the best things about having a conciense


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