Dear Nurses: Please Forgive Me - page 6
by CheesePotato 21,349 Views | 63 Comments
Dear floor, ED and ICU nurses, Please forgive me. I know he's dying. I get it. I do. We were told five years. Five years on an outlier and he would be gone. We were told transplant was an option but with the dismal... Read More
- 1Oct 3, '12 by kaiasunshineI'm going to print this off and bring it to my nursing classmates, and to the care home I work at and post it on the staff board on every floor. This needs to be required reading. Thank you so, so much for these words, and I am so sorry for your pain. I have no words to offer but loving thoughts sent your way.
- 0Oct 3, '12 by clumsy penguinI am sorry for the pain you are going through... This is so sad, I had tears while reading your post. The sadness can be felt through your writing. I still have my father however I am absolutely terrified of the day he is taken from us. I hope you can find some comfort during this time and I am so sorry. Thank you for sharing and I will pray for you
- 0Oct 3, '12 by pippyrnCP, thank you for sharing such a vulnernable moment in life. My mother died almost 8yrs ago and I feel every moment you are speaking of. 6 weeks in the hospital and feeling so lost...I always say that it is not that it gets better, but different. The morning she died, as I did the neuro checks as she slipped further away and felt so helpless, knowing what was happening and could do nothing to stop it, she did not want it. I am not very good with written words; Esme what you have said is what I know as well. Thank you as well. Stay strong CP, but know that it is okay to reach out, to lean on someone, even if it is only briefly...
- 0Oct 3, '12 by KentuckywildcatloverThis really hit home with me. When my husband was in ICU and we didnt know if he would pull thru (he did that time) I was probably just like this lady was. He eventually passed away a few month later and I sent the nurses in ICU a thank you gift for the care they gave him. It is so true that nurses can be H--- on wheels when its their family. This brought back so many memories when I read it.
- 1Oct 3, '12 by CheesePotatoAgain, thank you for all your kind thoughts and words. I am touched at the reply and I welcome those who wish to share this article to do so.
As I have said previously, once my words are released to the universe they are no longer mine--do with them as you will.
- 0Oct 9, '12 by Cheezecakes, RNThank you for your transparency. My dad died just over a week ago. I didn't think for a moment when inquiring about his labs, ejection fraction, or prognosis that I was asking too much. It seemed as though no one wanted to follow up by returning with the requested information. Specialists came and went - none of which wanted to answer any questions outside of their specialty ("I'm the kidney and liver specialist"). There were mixed signals - on his last day they were requesting to insert a PICC for long-term antibiotic therapy which I interpreted to mean that they felt he had progressed enough to warrant long-term intervention. He died just a few hours later. No amount of inquiry, due diligence, or nursing knowledge helped to understand his dire condition. I became his little girl and in the final hour of his life, I pleaded with the nurse to please help me decide what to do because I couldn't "think like a nurse anymore."
Please, if you feel challenged by an inquiring member of the patient's family, understand we're just looking for information so we can know clearly what we're dealing with. It's not to lay blame - it's our area of expertise and we need to process things. Our other family members are also relying upon us to interpret and advocate for our loved ones. Take some extra time to peruse the chart and provide answers - we're in this together. It's likely we will all be in this type of situation at one or more times in our lives. "Difficult" family members are usually the ones you would want advocating for you if you were a patient. I've always admired those who came to intervene for our patients - it keeps us accountable and working at our best.