Dealing with the loss of a coworker

LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN · Jun 13, 2013

((HUGS))

My heart goes out I you, your healthcare team, and the doctor's family.

It's really easy to be hopeless when your livelihood is cut short, especially if the thing you love to do gets hampered, and a business that you out your heart and soul into is taken away...that's really sucks.

Debilpn23 · Jun 13, 2013

Earlier this week we learned an MD that we see daily committed suicide. We live in a small community and he had delivered over 6k babies in his 30+years--a very well known and respected doctor. He was SUCH an brilliant man who came from a long line of doctors. In the last year because of the economy and lost insurance contracts he was forced to close his practice--this was supposed to be the last week.
It makes you want to go back in time and.....I don't even know. Hug him because he was so caring. Watch him because he did his job so well. Hit him because this is stupid and we shouldn't even be talking about it---how did this happen??
The inevitable 'What did we miss?' question is rampant in all our minds. That question in turn leads to 'What if we had just did/said X?'. Then comes the sadness that we won't hear his voice "Just calling to see what's cookin'".
Our floor is wounded and I know it will take time, but boy does this suck.

I don't know what to say to lessen your hurt. I can just send hugs. I agree it sucks.

linzjane88 · Jun 14, 2013

Thanks for the kind words. I finally broke down and had an "ugly cry" (no gentle tears here- I'm talking snot, sobbing, and Kleenex stuck to your eyelashes!). I actually feel a little better.

It just didn't have to be like this. His patients would have followed him to the moon if that's where he decided to go. It's just so much to process. I just can't wrap my mind around how this was the only option for him.

I hate that nagging "what if we ...." feeling.

anotherone, BSN, RN · Jun 14, 2013

Sorry for you loss. Also, you do not know everything that went on /was going on in his life. No one but he knew that. Sometimes the visible "Reason " for others is just the tip of the iceberg, or what pushes someone over the edge. It is easy to say, he could have gone to work across town etc..... maybe that wasn't even part of his reasoning. also if you believe suicide is the result of mental illness, mentally ill people aren't always thinking clearly either. Just trying to help with the "what if we did this, said that etc....."

Rhi007 · Jun 14, 2013

Thanks for the kind words. I finally broke down and had an "ugly cry" (no gentle tears here- I'm talking snot, sobbing, and Kleenex stuck to your eyelashes!). I actually feel a little better.
It just didn't have to be like this. His patients would have followed him to the moon if that's where he decided to go. It's just so much to process. I just can't wrap my mind around how this was the only option for him.
I hate that nagging "what if we ...." feeling.

As a person that has come that close we hide it very very well...so well in fact that even those we are close to: co workers, family and friends, don't have an idea! It's our own personal hell. Society isn't very accepting of mental illness and its not an easy decision but its an easy answer to ending psychological pain....the hardest thing for me was telling my favourite auntie...

So as someone who has been there all I can say is just treasure the memories, quirky moments and fun times. Keep his spirit alive by bringing him up in conversation like 'lol oh dr use to say that' or 'remember when dr use to do this?!'