Confront and risk drama or stay silent and hold the peace?

Nurses General Nursing

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Due to a tattletale war and the fact that my shift is understaffed to the point where you can't get anything done without severely cutting corners (read: not wipe anybody down), I'm reorientating (read: remedial training). The CNA who is reorientating me quote bossy and acts as if the world owes her a medal for being born, and I'm wondering if I should let it be or stick up for myself and run the risk of making drama even worse. She's been working at the nursing home for years, is a very efficient, very good CNA, but has an attitude that stinks like C. diff. We usually work different shifts, but I'm reorientating under her and she often works overtime during my shift, which is the worst because she makes it clear that she's doing a favor for everyone by lessening the shortstaffing. She's also the typw who rolls her eyes and mutters comments under her breath whenever you ask for assistance. Since I'm a new girl, as well as slower than everyone, she targets me.

For example:

"Excuse me, you did not thank me for helping you with the lift." Uh, I did thank her, as I thank everybody reflexively, but she didn't hear it. I simply said with a smile, "Oh, I didn't? In that case, I wholeheartedly thank you belatedly as well as prophylactically for anything else I may have forgotten."

"I don't like the way you answer me by saying 'Yo' because it's offensive.'" In my case, it's a language idiosyncracy, as up north, if someone calls your name, "Yo?" can be an acceptable substitute for "Yes?" as it's bastardization of, "Yeah?" Bad grammar, double negatives, and utilization of the word "ain't" grinds on my nerves, but I have less trivial things to worry about, such as the residents. I was tempted to make a neutral diversion like, "But I'm acknowledging your requests, and more importantly, we have the residents to worry about."

I know that this seems trivial, but I'm new to the healthcare field and I'm trying to find a good medium between being a doormat and having an entitlement complex. I've always had this problem, as I've always been an oddball who's been afraid to stick up for herself, as offending another female can easily result in a tenfold repurcussion due to cliquing. I've sworn that I would not get involved in the tattletale battle that's gotten me wrongfully accused for everything from HIPAA violations to quackery, and as a newbie, I'm trying to learn the unspoken rules. Any advice? Thank you.

Specializes in Hospice, Med/Surg, ICU, ER.

"Excuse me, you did not thank me for helping you with the lift." Uh, I did thank her, as I thank everybody reflexively, but she didn't hear it. I simply said with a smile, "Oh, I didn't? In that case, I wholeheartedly thank you belatedly as well as prophylactically for anything else I may have forgotten."

Well done here, IMHO, but you probably didn't make any points with the redneck set. (Whut do pro-fil-lacticly mean? Is dat dere sumthang like a rubber?) :rolleyes:

"I don't like the way you answer me by saying 'Yo' because it's offensive.'" In my case, it's a language idiosyncracy, as up north, if someone calls your name, "Yo?" can be an acceptable substitute for "Yes?" as it's bastardization of, "Yeah?" Bad grammar, double negatives, and utilization of the word "ain't" grinds on my nerves, but I have less trivial things to worry about, such as the residents. I was tempted to make a neutral diversion like, "But I'm acknowledging your requests, and more importantly, we have the residents to worry about."

When in Rome..... However, if you're going to live in the South, you should really learn to like grits and say "ya'll" and "heah".

I know that this seems trivial, but I'm new to the healthcare field and I'm trying to find a good medium between being a doormat and having an entitlement complex. I've always had this problem, as I've always been an oddball who's been afraid to stick up for herself, as offending another female can easily result in a tenfold repurcussion due to cliquing. I've sworn that I would not get involved in the tattletale battle that's gotten me wrongfully accused for everything from HIPAA violations to quackery, and as a newbie, I'm trying to learn the unspoken rules. Any advice? Thank you.

Pick your battles wisely. Tolerate what you can, and challange what you should/must.

Good luck to you.

Does anyone here consider, "Aye" or "Yo?" to be offensive? Just asking.

Specializes in Hospice, Med/Surg, ICU, ER.
Does anyone here consider, "Aye" or "Yo?" to be offensive? Just asking.

Not me, and I've lived in the south all of my life.

Specializes in Psych, Med/Surg, LTC.

No I don't find those terms offensive. But then again, very few words offend me. It's How the words are used (in my mind) that may make them offensive. I would have not been offended if it were me. But then I am not easily offended and don't take everything as a personal attack like a lot of people seem to now a days. So I don't think my opinion in it really counts... Btw I am from up north.

Specializes in Case Management.
Due to a tattletale war and the fact that my shift is understaffed to the point where you can't get anything done without severely cutting corners (read: not wipe anybody down), I'm reorientating (read: remedial training). The CNA who is reorientating me quote bossy and acts as if the world owes her a medal for being born, and I'm wondering if I should let it be or stick up for myself and run the risk of making drama even worse. She's been working at the nursing home for years, is a very efficient, very good CNA, but has an attitude that stinks like C. diff. We usually work different shifts, but I'm reorientating under her and she often works overtime during my shift, which is the worst because she makes it clear that she's doing a favor for everyone by lessening the shortstaffing. She's also the typw who rolls her eyes and mutters comments under her breath whenever you ask for assistance. Since I'm a new girl, as well as slower than everyone, she targets me.

For example:

"Excuse me, you did not thank me for helping you with the lift." Uh, I did thank her, as I thank everybody reflexively, but she didn't hear it. I simply said with a smile, "Oh, I didn't? In that case, I wholeheartedly thank you belatedly as well as prophylactically for anything else I may have forgotten."

"I don't like the way you answer me by saying 'Yo' because it's offensive.'" In my case, it's a language idiosyncracy, as up north, if someone calls your name, "Yo?" can be an acceptable substitute for "Yes?" as it's bastardization of, "Yeah?" Bad grammar, double negatives, and utilization of the word "ain't" grinds on my nerves, but I have less trivial things to worry about, such as the residents. I was tempted to make a neutral diversion like, "But I'm acknowledging your requests, and more importantly, we have the residents to worry about."

I know that this seems trivial, but I'm new to the healthcare field and I'm trying to find a good medium between being a doormat and having an entitlement complex. I've always had this problem, as I've always been an oddball who's been afraid to stick up for herself, as offending another female can easily result in a tenfold repurcussion due to cliquing. I've sworn that I would not get involved in the tattletale battle that's gotten me wrongfully accused for everything from HIPAA violations to quackery, and as a newbie, I'm trying to learn the unspoken rules. Any advice? Thank you.

Maybe you could try to convince her that you think she is the greatest CNA on the planet and you have been so lucky under her tutelage to have the chance to become a great CNA like her, but never better than her. Some women want to be the head chicken in the coop and if you bow to her royalty she will back off you and start pecking on someone else.

You know, I wouldn't even buy into her drama.

She's out for blood and no matter WHAT you do (or how you say it), she's going to be "offended." :rolleyes:

She's picking on you.

Just like when you were a little kid in the playground and the other kids would "accidentally" push you around...

I would go directly to the DON and tell her what you've told us. If SHE doesn't take care of this problem, quite frankly, I would go elsewhere. You're new and you shouldn't have to put up with this B.S.

The least you could expect is another preceptor. I wouldn't work with this ***** another minute. JMHO

ETA: by the way, OP, you sound like a pretty interesting, well-educated person - I think I'd like working with you. Maybe this CNA is jealous...........? (Just a thought.......)

Specializes in Education, Acute, Med/Surg, Tele, etc.

You have humor and spirit...that tends to scare folks or make them very jealous! I have that type of humor and spirit too...I can be a very bold firecracker and then times when no one quite knows if I meant that compliment or was it a diss! LOL, love making them wonder at times...

So when I have come up to those folks with petrified wood spikes up their rear...I simply stay rather neutral, smile a lot, keep it simple and sweet (not too sweet), and most often after time they mellow off!

One time it didn't and I talked with my DON, she fixed it with having us get together for coffee and let it all out...we found out we had very similar personalities and were bouncing off eachother like north poles on magnents! We cried a little, hugged and all was awesome after that...in fact, I have a great long term friend with her...and my life has been great with her in it!!!!!

But I feel that just being nice to the point of just over the line is a good thing because you can't get in trouble (or shouldn't) for being nice. If it goes a bit too far I tend to tell management (rumor mills are deadly and I will consult them before something comes at me!). IN the rare occasions where I it was a difference in opinion and we just couldn't get beyond it or assume a proactive role for a patient...I explain myself boldly (not accusing) and take it straight to managment! (out of earshot of any patients!!!!!!!!).

Good luck to you!!!!!

Specializes in Trauma,ER,CCU/OHU/Nsg Ed/Nsg Research.

Ya know, I think you're going to do just fine in the nursing field. She probably has a thorn in her side because you're quick-witted enough to have a reply for everything she says. She may not be used to that. I say at least see what you can learn from her, and when it's all over with, give her a Thank You card. She probably really won't know what to do then...lol.

Good news: She started nitpicking over the "Yo" thing, and I simply replied that it's a idiosyncratic colloquialism and socially conditioned jargon due to my regional and multicultural upbringing. She said that she didn't understand a darn thing that I was saying, but hasn't bugged me about it since. She's looking for other things, of course, but I'm noticing that advanced rhetoric can drive some people off.

lgflamini, the thank-you card is a really good idea. Killing with kindness does work, come to thing of it. I'll bring her doughnuts as well. Should I do it in front of people and feed her ego, or in private to make it seem more sincere?

I'm still having problems with several other CNAs, as the ADON once announced in front of everyone that I'm preparing for nursing school. I've been modest about it, but some definately think that I'm a snob (they prolly think that I'm going to be one of those wrongfully perceived lazy nurses who just push pencils all day). It doesn't get to me personally, but it's a pain that teamwork is nonexistant, especially with the ones who act as if they're doing a HUGE favor for you by coming to work and refuse to help you, never mind the fact that you cleaned up a resident's diarrhea attack for her. I'm still trying to figure out how to confront for that, as I can't complete my work without help for some of the larger residents, but I don't want to further catalyze an outlet for Freudian projection. ever wonder why women are less likely to confront? It's because as soon as you confront, you could be framed as the offender.

Specializes in Trauma,ER,CCU/OHU/Nsg Ed/Nsg Research.

I would do it in front of others- that way, at least you'll have witnesses...lol.

One thing you have to remember is that you're still part of a team, and you're going to need their help every now and then. You've got to find your niche in there somewhere. If most of them are older than you, they just might need a while to get used to your spunky kind of personality. I wouldn't worry about what kind of nurse they think you might be in the future- none of their business, right?

When I was in your position, I found I had more in common with some of the nurses I worked with than the other CNAs.

Have you considered going to work in a teaching hospital environment? From what I can tell by your posts, you seem like you'd fit right in! (That's a good thing...lol).

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