Bummed Out Over a Patient

fiveofpeep · Jan 19, 2012

Yeah I hate when that happens. My first rebleed was like that and he ended up never really regaining independence and would be in and out of the hospital for the entire time I worked there picking up pneumonia and more strokes. It sucks. It also sucks when you leave the patient thinking they are going to recover and return that night to find them brain dead because the patient had complications during angio

AICU RN · Jan 19, 2012

That does suck.

You know what else sucks? I have had friends that accused me of not caring for my patients just because I'm not super touchy with them. No, I don't hug my patients on a regular basis. No, I don't run my fingers through their hair. No, I don't call them things like "sweetie," "sugar," or "honey" and I don't think I ever will. No, I don't even let something like the aforementioned patient get to me while I'm at work. I really don't see how that means I care about people any less, I'm just not a physically affectionate person.

Anyway, I will never forget our first code in nursing school. They had given me the opportunity to do compressions and I did. They then gave my friend an opportunity as well. She didn't do them "good enough" and the ER doc asked another nurse to take over for her. She was so mad at me because "I didn't treat him like a person." That really upset me because of course I see that man as a person. However, I'm not going to break down in the middle of a code over the uncertainty of death or something. Then again, she wants to be a hospice nurse and critical care just wasn't her thing so to each their own. Just don't imply that I'm not a good person because I can do my job without my feelings clouding my actions (She didn't just imply it, she said something very similar to a fellow classmate).

/end rant

classicdame, MSN, EdD · Jan 19, 2012

it was not the outcome you expected and you had bonded with him human:human. I think one day you may look at it as a positive experience since you we able to provide him with human compassion and maybe even humor during his last days.

netglow, ASN, RN · Jan 19, 2012

it was not the outcome you expected and you had bonded with him human:human. I think one day you may look at it as a positive experience since you we able to provide him with human compassion and maybe even humor during his last days.

And this AICU RN is proof that you have "the right stuff". Nurses like those you speak of, can, be considered somewhat selfish because they make things about them, not the patient. You showed your concern for the patient, by treating him as someone worth being talked to and joked with because you sensed that he would be comforted by you giving of yourself to him.

AICU RN · Jan 19, 2012

classicdame,

Thanks, I appreciate what you're saying, I do. I'm sure it will be a positive experience somewhere down the line. It's just chances are I'll have to care for this gentleman again tonight and that's fine. It's just that, (and this is probably going to sound very very insensitive) when I take care of him now I see him as a different patient. I can't picture him as that sweet man who was joking and laughing with me. In the meantime, my preceptor keeps saying, "This must be so hard for you since you took care of him when he was doing well. I can hardly believe it's the same guy." She just keeps reminding me and that makes it harder for me to compartmentalize the "good" CM and "sick" CM.

netglow,

Thank you so much. Your words truly do mean a lot to me.

netglow, ASN, RN · Jan 20, 2012

Very, very important that you just chat away as you did before... he might not be able to respond in a way that you absolutely know he's "with it" but he might totally be there! Soooooooooooooo important.

GitanoRN, BSN, MSN, RN · Jan 20, 2012

a few weeks ago i took care of a gentleman that i'll call cm (male in his mid 60s). no real significant past medical history besides hypertension and a positive blood alcohol on admission. he has a hx of alcoholism. cm was helping his wife with chores and fell down the basement steps and broke his left arm. he had some post op complications and went sent to the icu though he was never tubed or anything. i took care of him the day he was sent back to med surg and was laughing and joking and just an all around nice guy. i even commented to my preceptor how nice it was to have a patient in the icu with whom i could laugh and joke (my other patient that day was pretty sick).
anyway, i get my assignment last night only to find out that cm is back. he had a ton of complications and, if i'm being realistic, will probably never leave our icu. i don't have a question about his therapy or anything like that, i guess i just feel sad because he had been doing so well. i really enjoyed the time i spent with him and his wife. i don't even know why i'm writing thist today. i don't normally get "attached" to my patients, but i do occassionaly have that patient i really enjoy taking care of, and he was one. seeing him in his current condition made me feel like i got sucker punched in the stomach, that's all.

this scenario is what all of us nurses have gone through, or will go through one time or another in our career. my sincere advice to you is don't ever lose that human part of you, which makes you such a great nurse. moreover, patients can sense this part of us nurses. therefore, continue offering your patients that human warm sympathy, that will always leave you without any regrets; no matter the outcome of their condition. wishing you and your patients the very best...ciao~