breaking my heart - page 3

by Maco

2,266 Visits | 22 Comments

My dad had a massive cva a month ago. He is in pcu. He sleeps 95% of the time.When he is awake is does reconized family because he smiles.He has atrach and peg.He can't talk right now because of the trach...but he has tried to by... Read More


  1. 1
    Quote from Kyrshamarks
    I am going to play the devils advocate here on the sedation part. Remember that it is when the body is asleep that it trie to repair it self. The sedation at this time may be the brains way of saying I need time to try to fix myself. That may be what he needs at this point. I kn ow it is hard to come in and see him sleepping all the time and not able to do rehab but there is always PROM and look at this way, even of he is sleeping, You know that you are there with him. Let him have the morphine for pain right now. You are not helping him or yourself if he is not getting adequate pain relief at this point.
    wow...i totally agree with kyrshamarks.
    dad's injury is still so recent, and i think it's too soon to anticipate any type of recovery.
    your dad suffered an overwhelmingly major insult to his brain, and it's going to take time to even replenish itself.

    i do think a neuro consult is the way to go, however.
    s/he would answer your questions much more plausibly than anyone else.
    (take the time to find a reputable neurologist.)
    his pain needs to be managed!
    please maco, leaving him alone and not doing even prom, is only going to exacerbate any injuries he has and will make him worse.
    so just make sure his pain is managed, and elicit the input of the neurologist as to how s/he would 'careplan' his journey to recovering.
    imo, it's waaaaaaaaaaay too soon to even consider palliative care.

    Quote from traumaRUs
    You are making the only decision you can do in this situation. Things to do:

    1. Talk with discharge planner - see what NH in your area do CVA rehab and will accept Medicare pts.

    2. Visit the NH. Ask to see their latest survey. Ask to talk with residents. Are they all in their rooms or all of them out visiting/watching TV, engaged in activities?

    3. Ask to see their rehab. How many PTs do they have on staff? Do they offer Sat rehab?

    4. Talk with kitchen staff - ensure that meals look acceptable/appetizing.

    5. Can staff deal efficiently with trachs/G-tubes? Are they very comfortable?

    I wish you the best - I know this is a heartbreaking decision.
    here's a very helpful link in considering ltc facilities.
    take a look around and familiarize yourself with this website...tons and tons of info.
    Medicare.gov - Nursing Home Compare

    heartfelt prayers for peace and healing.

    leslie
    TDCHIM likes this.
  2. 0
    Quote from happy2learn
    I think that would be a drastic difference from morphine to xanax. I'm sure there is a reason they have them on morphine.

    There is going to be a point when you will need to stop the nurse in you from assessing him. You will need to learn to trust the people that are taking care of him, just as you would want a family to trust you to care for their family member.
    His morphine is only prn and they haven't even been giving it to him. I asked if the md could order toradol sch...and it worked for a while but he couldn't keep getting it because of the damage it could cause. I asked he could order ultram and have it sch...he started getting it yester every 8 hrs i believe but today when i was doing rom he started grimacing....do you know of anything than can be given sch that would be effective?
  3. 2
    I'm so sorry you're going through all this. I know it's hard. We were faced with putting my MIL in a nursing home last year. She had been living in an ALF for about 8 years when she took a bad fall and broke her hip. From there she went to rehab, but she didn't do well. AFter 90 days about all she could/would do for herself is transfer to a w/c(wth assist), feed herself, and brush her hair. Although she is fully cognizant, she could not take care of her self even minimally. DSIL decided to bring her home to live with her, despite the fact that her home is not accessible. Despite the fact that her DH was not in agreement. DH & I were dead set against SIL taking her mother home. IMO, she didn't have a clue what she was getting into.

    We have a profoundly mentally handicapped 15yo. He is a full-care, 24/7 kinda kid. I explained to her about how our lives have been affected by living with this responsibility, how it pervades every decision, every activity, every move we make. Love him to bits, but there is very little respite. Eventually, SIL came to understand that she really was *not* prepared for the drastic changes her life would undergo. Love does not conquer all. We found a very nice SNF about 4 miles from SIL(we live 400 miles away) and everyone is pretty satisfied with the arrangement. SIL still feels bad about it, but really, what could she do? There is no spontaneity when you're caring for a debilitated adult, no matter what the diagnosis. It's work, work, work. All caregiving, all the time.

    Please don't feel guilty about this. Everyone has limitations. I don't believe it is humanly possible for someone to take on the full care of another human and do it 24 hrs.day forever. Sometimes the *right* thing is to find the best place possible where our loved one can receive daily care. We are in the process of locating a new residence for our son. Not because we don't love him. On the contrary. BEcause we love him dearly and we recognize that we are just about at the end of our capabilities to care for him. We have mixed feelings about it, but in the long run I know in my heart it's the right thing to do.

    (((HUGS to you)))
    leslie :-D and Maco like this.


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