An Unforgettable Lesson

orthonurse55

Many of us learn valuable lessons from our patients. I was fortunate to learn one very early in my career that has stayed with me for 35 years. I have long ago forgotten her name, but her face and her circumstances are embedded in my brain and have dictated the way I have treated many other patients. I am now a teacher, and I use this as a lesson to my students every year - it is that important.

I was working the 3-11pm shift at a small community hospital. We received a transfer to our Med-Surg floor from the Intensive Care Unit. It was a 42 year old woman who had had a heart attack. In those days, she was expected to stay on our unit for about two weeks before being sent home. She was so sweet, and I was amazed that someone so young could have had such a bad heart attack! I was half her age but she was still young in my eyes! And she was upset that she could not even see her two young children. Oh heavens no, we could not allow children in a hospital in those days! We even had restricted visiting hour for adults. She asked me to set some pictures of her son and daughter on her nightstand as I was admitting her to our unit.

Every evening during her bedtime routine, we would talk about our kids. I had one daughter and could not imagine not seeing her every day. But my patient was getting stronger and was able to walk around our unit every now and then as ordered by her doctor. We both knew it wouldn't be long before she would be home with her little ones again.

After about a week on our unit, I was making my evening rounds, getting everyone settled in, and she asked me to sit with her for a while. I sat down and held her hand and she told me she was scared. She didn't know why, she just felt scared and thought she might not see her kids again. I tried to assure her that her progress so far had been fantastic and she was right on track. But she held on tight to my hand and kept talking about her little ones.

I realized it was 10:30, almost time for end of shift. I told her I had to finish up some charting and give my report and that I would come back to her room when I clocked out. She thanked me and I went about my business. Where does the time go? Before I knew it, it was time to go home and I left with all of my friends. It wasn't until I had gotten home that I realized I had forgotten to make good on my promise. That's OK, I thought, I will apologize tomorrow and spend extra time with her at that time.

The next afternoon I was listening to report and her name wasn't mentioned. I asked where she was - had she gone home early? To my shock, I was told that she had died at midnight the evening before. She was scared and wanted company and I let her down. She didn't know why and neither did I, but she was about to die and I wasn't there. I also learned later that sometimes people feel that "scared for no real reason" feeling just before they are going to die. I struggled for a long time. If I had stayed and been in her room, could I have called a code and would she be home with her kids right now? I would never know.

What I DO know is this: I have never ignored a patient request since that night. Who knows what is going on in their minds? Scared, pain, terror, loneliness? It doesn't matter to me. If they need me, I am there. She made me a better nurse and she doesn't even know it.

An Unforgettable Lesson

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