actual sentences found in pt hospital charts

[almostanurse]

1. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

2. patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

3. on the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.

4. the patient is tearful and crying constantly. she also appears to be depressed.

5. discharge status: Alive but without my permission

6. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

7. the patient refused autopsy

8. The patient has no previous history history of suicides.

9. patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

10. patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

11. she is numb from her toes down.

12. occasional, constant, infrequent headachs.

13. rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

14. she stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

15. examination of genitals reveals that he is circus sized.

16. skin: somewhat pale but present.

17. the pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

18. the patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

:chuckle

[almostanurse]

1. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

2. patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

3. on the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.

4. the patient is tearful and crying constantly. she also appears to be depressed.

5. discharge status: Alive but without my permission

6. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

7. the patient refused autopsy

8. The patient has no previous history history of suicides.

9. patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

10. patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

11. she is numb from her toes down.

12. occasional, constant, infrequent headachs.

13. rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

14. she stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

15. examination of genitals reveals that he is circus sized.

16. skin: somewhat pale but present.

17. the pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

18. the patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

:chuckle

[legsmalone, RN]

:roll circus sized:roll

those are pretty funny, though I would like to know how long of a glove is requierd to check the thyroid rectally???

[legsmalone, RN]

:roll circus sized:roll

those are pretty funny, though I would like to know how long of a glove is requierd to check the thyroid rectally???

[OB/GYN NP]

ROFL about the patient discharged alive without Doc's permission. Had (s)he instructed the patient to die in the hospital?:roll

[OB/GYN NP]

ROFL about the patient discharged alive without Doc's permission. Had (s)he instructed the patient to die in the hospital?:roll

[OB/GYN NP]

And, just wondering, would a circus sized member be REALLY REALLY large, or really really tiny?:roll

[OB/GYN NP]

And, just wondering, would a circus sized member be REALLY REALLY large, or really really tiny?:roll

[MK2002]

It probably depends on the clown it belongs to.

Good thing that patient in #16 still has skin. I hate to think what would happen if the skeleton was being examined.

[MK2002]

It probably depends on the clown it belongs to.

Good thing that patient in #16 still has skin. I hate to think what would happen if the skeleton was being examined.

[night owl]

That was some rectal examine! Musta needed Roto-Rooter to reach his thyroid gland!!!!....... :chuckle

[night owl]

That was some rectal examine! Musta needed Roto-Rooter to reach his thyroid gland!!!!....... :chuckle