abused nurse...HELP!!! - page 3
hi, i am so frustrated i dont know where to turn, then i found this great forum for nurses. i need advice. i am in a critical care unit just turned trauma. stress is high as it is. problem is, a... Read More
Nov 20, '01Hang in there. Follow all good solid advice. Change if you need to. Life is too short!!!!!
Kudos, VAC!!!!! Well written and great advice. I am going to put it down and keep for reference and support for myself. VAC, are you sure you are not already an author, lawyer, etc. You are very talented and have another career, talents just waiting for you if you ever changed from nursing!!!!! But don't change from nursing, your patients need you!!!!! your cuz
Nov 20, '01GADZOOKS!!!! Hit the 'chute and get out!!!
I feel your pain. When I was a brand new nurse I worked on a surgical floor full of old-timers who were buddies, both in and out of the hospital. I didn't fit in their click and my life became a living hell. Soured me on clinical nursing for a very long time. It makes you doubt your skills and abilities as a nurse, even if you are completely blameless.
My advice, go ahead with the transfer. In case you're living under a rock you'll notice there is a tremendous nursing shortage in this country. There is no need to put up with such nonsense. I would venture to say that most of us became nurses because we are good natured souls and genuinely want to help people (please don't wake me up if I'm wrong). Go where you can do some good and remember why you chose this most noble of professions.
PS- Three words: Hostile Work Environment. There is not reason in the world to put up with it. State and Federal law prohibit it and I would make a bee line to HR. Make sure there is a record of your complaint. Only what's documented can be proven.
Nov 20, '01i agree, i would leave as well. why not? it is clear she has the nm eating out of her hand and that is not going to change anytime soon. you will be the fall guy if anything happens count on it.
i know the other girls have urged you to go to hr, i encourage you to not do that, at least until you are off the floor. i can guarentee you that move will blow up in your face. nm despise nothing more than someone going over their head. even with, what sounds like a legitamite case, you will loose. i say that because i have seen it happen in the past---more thatn once. you might get her reprimanded (doubtful), but you as the victim will pay the price. managers talk.
Nov 20, '01PhantomRN speaks the truth........Remember no one could be operating this out of control without others being aware...It's obviously not causing them any distress...So they already like the one causing you all the grief...Politically they will side with her....This could even escalte into trumped up accusations even putting your license in jeopardy.Any nurse that wold be muttering threats of physical violence will continue to bully and intimidate you until she "WINS"....If you are into a different floor..be very careful on how you conduct yourself...go out of your way for awhile to show that you are NOT lazy and are a team player..It's likely that the people on the new floor already got wind of the other drama,and are looking to form their own opinions...You at least have some control over their perception of you and your work...These are just some of the issues that are not addresed in nursing school..and probably have more far reaching outcomes on the profession than anyones ability to assess lung sounds or do a dressing change!!!! Far more of my mental energy gets spent on the sorting of the politics..I rarely come home and mull over clinical skills or lab values...Its always the politics that I come home and vent over...I also think this may be fallout from "THE SHORTAGE" alot of the crappy ones have remained..When there is an excess of canidates it's easier to weed out the idiots..With the conditions now they seem to flourish.There is no one to challenge their behavior..Honey,just move on......
Dec 11, '01To quote the great Curtis Mayfield,
Move on up towards your destination........
May God be between you and all the dark places.
Dec 11, '01I understand not wanting to be run off of a job, especially one you like. BUT how much do yo really like it, with this person there? I know if it was not for her it would probably be wonderful. The fact is she comes with this particular job. The fact is it is not wonderfu with her there; it is hell.
I think you really mean you love critical care nursing. You can nurse other places. If you stay there; if you try to fight this, you will suffer in ways that you may regret. Leave now while you have the good references of you co workers. There are other places that you can love without this.
Wether you should have had time to take another pt or not should not be the isssue. If you are slow (and I doubt it) you are slow. AACCN says to assign pts acording to the abilities of the nurse.
Reguardless there is ABSOLUTELY NO EXCUSE what so ever for ANYONE treating you like this. And for another RN doing it it is more than shameful.
Leave as diplomatically as you can but leave. By the way a note to all: the diplomacy is not to be nice and protect the agressor; it's for your own professional protection and image. It is only too easy to say or do somthing that you may later regret if leave with explanations. It is seldom that explaination is not already understood. And where it is not understood you explanation will not make it clearer to them. Be aware that exit interviews and are not for your benefit. They are to benefit the employer. You do not owe an explaination to any employer who allows this to happen to anyone in there employ. (you are NOT obligated to an exit interview) Just be careful when you leave and do it quietly with dignity. Nursing is a small world and critical care is even a smaller world. You will probably run into some of the same people who you now work with later. They will understand when you go. Be sure that you leave a positive memory with them for when you meet again.
Dec 12, '01Dear Unhappy Nurse,
I am saddened to hear your situation right now. I think as others have advised that it may be time to move on. I don't think any job is worth soo much anguish. It is hard when you like what you do and the surroundings are familiar but, there are basic skills a nurse has that are the same everywhere, caring and compassion for the patients. You may find a job in the ICU at another facility where you are respected and appreciated then you will have the best of both worlds.
I had a similiar situation when I was an OR tech, till finally for my own sanity I had to leave. I decided to start working on pre-requisites for nursing school and took a position at the same hospital on the med-surg floor as a nursing assistant. My DON was soo understanding I couldn't believe it. The OR was not run by her. She allowed me to make the change and it was like I worked at a different hospital. I have to also say this was a very small hospital and everyone knew everyone. They accepted me on the floor even though some were good friends with those in the OR who were so unaccepting of me. I worked in that OR for 4 years until I no longer could.
I have to also add what goes around does come around and I had the opportunity to go back there as an RN for a short time and I had to fill in one night for the tech that hated me so because she was no where to be found! The look on her face when she got there and saw me was priceless. When I left the room everyone said thank you Denise it was good to see you back here in the OR again thanks for your help.
I have never worked in the OR again, not because of this experience but, because I liked other areas of nursing better. I still think I may go back to it someday. I have to say though I will never forget the experience and everytime I have to make a move I am leary of the people, until I see how it goes. I work in an ER now and there are many strong personalities but, so far nothing comes close to what I endured there. I have also learned that I will never stay at a job where I feel like I am abused ever! It is not worth the mental anguish. On a more positive note, I can honestly say that I have in my short time had to change jobs frequently due to my husbands work and career opportunities for myself and 95% of it has been that I have met wonderful nurses willing to share thier experience and appreciate having you there!
I hope this helps. Have a wonderful holiday! I wish you all the joy, success, and satisfaction in your career this year and many more to come!
DeniseLast edit by Y2KRN on Dec 12, '01
Dec 12, '01I GOT THE JOB IN THE ER!!! Thanks so much for ALL your help everyone!!!! I am so relieved! I start the first week of January, but already I feel the weight lifted off of my shoulders! The new ER manager said she asked around about me in order to make her decision on who to hire (There were 7 applicants) and she said she heard only GOOD things about me so the position is 100% mine if I want it! I did not hesitate! My present manager asked if I was leaving because of the problems, and I told her YES. That is all that was said, and she wished me well. I have gotten many hugs from friends I work with and they all understand.
Dec 13, '01Yippee!! Cry hosanna and let joy be unconfined!!
Well done and fair play to you for your new post!
Time to kick off the dust from your heels of an old, oppresive regime and start anew. Cool.
May you thrive and do nothing but good.