A patient died today. . . . - page 4

I guess I've come to the conclusion that I'm kind of sad and maybe even a bit depressed. I work nights. It is now 6:20 PM and I haven't even been to bed yet. What have I been doing? Two things,... Read More

  1. by   Ted
    Was my last post a little too long winded or what?!?!?

    Sorry. . . :imbar

    (I got carried away. . . .)
  2. by   luv-my-dal
    efiebke, you have a wonderful way with your words....it obviously reflects your remarkable nature and your patient was very fortunate to have you by his side.

    To be dying and have someone with you who has all the time to spend with you...I think the most frightening part is the thought of being alone when the last breath is taken.

    I pray I am lucky enough to have someone with that same compassion and committment by my side. I am still wiping tears from my cheeks. Your words express so much that I can almost picture being there.

    Thank you for sharing.....
  3. by   cwazycwissyRN
    Ted,
    No the post was not too long, this is the stuff we just never talk about or unveil. This is the stuf that make nurses who we are....and you are a great example of who most of us strive to be. Thanks so much for sharing the inner makings of us so nicely.
  4. by   jude11142
    What a beautiful post and how wonderful that this gentleman has such a caring person with him as he left this world. It is still sad though you know that the person is no longer in pain. To be able to feel such compassion is so special and makes one a special caring nurse. I would of and have stayed beyond my shift to stay with a patient who was in bad shape and needed somebody with them.

    Isn't is wonderful that we have such caring, loving, compassionate nurses. Never lose that.

    JUDE
  5. by   RNFROG3
    Ted-
    I came on shift the weekend of the 7th and 8th. (night shift 1900-0700) to absolute chaos. We knew when we left that am that days were short so it might be bad and it was. All three shock rooms full -placing a pacer in #1, bad lunger in #2 and Gi bleed/bowel obstruction in #3. I asked what could I do to help the nurse in that area --he said get #3 to a bed if they have one.
    AI noticied they had not gotten their antibx hung yet started into the room and realised I hadn't looked at the pt name. Lo and behold same last name. It briefly crossed my mind it might be a relative. It was -- my grandma. She was 87. Bp was in the low 100s/40s. She was in pain and hadn't had pain meds since1440. I fixed that and got her to her room. She went to the floor I used to work on so I called and made sure she had a good nurse. She had been in the ED since 0725 that morning.
    To make a long story short she was trf to progressive care around 2300 due to her bp she was in renal failure and had pretty strict DNR order in place. My fantastic co-workers let me leave make the family calls and be with her when the nurse called me at 0200 and said it wouldn't be long. She passed peacefully away at 7:30. She stayed long enough to get past the coroners time (less then 24 hr) and long enough to get last rites. The nurse there let me do the aftercare for grandma it was so cathartic. It was the first time I had ever had a family member here. She is at rest and I got to be there with her my dad and uncle till the end.
  6. by   cookie22039
    Ted, prayers with you. Just know that when a child of God dies, they don't die, they live on forever, in a much much better place, a place of streets of gold, where to sun always shines, there is always peace and happiness, what a wonderful thought, such a better place then where we live now..... if your heart is right with God you will live forever.
  7. by   HISSYTHECAT
    Ted, I am sorry for the experience you had. My heart and soul are with you. I am deeply sorry for the gentleman and his family. I admire you for being the kind and passionate person that was willing to go out of the way to make this mans last moments easier. May GOD Bless you.
    Hissy ^..^
  8. by   Liddle Noodnik
    Originally posted by efiebke
    Isn't this wonderful that we can do this for each other! ! !
    With the warmest regards and the deepest respect to you all!
    Ted
    It IS wonderful... It is exactly what I was looking for when I came here.

    I lost a patient recently too but it was a guy I knew. He was in AA with me and tho' I didn't know him well he had a profound effect on me in my early days of sobriety. Every time I saw him at a meeting he was neatly groomed and wearing a blue sport coat and tie. He always said hello with this reserved smile and he ALWAYS REMEMBERED MY NAME!

    He lost his daughter to cancer 10 years ago (she was also in AA) and he was devastated! But he stayed sober and he coped. Was a power of example to me.

    I didn't see him for about 2 years and when I saw him recently he was in the hospital bed dying from cancer of the mouth and emphysema. I recognized the name on his chart but that was about all -- long straggly hair and unshaven and his hair was mostly white instead of mostly red. Wearing big thick glasses. I chose to switch assignments because I didn't feel comfortable being his nurse. Of course when I walked in to see him he knew my name! Where I hardly recognized HIM.

    I was hardly able to spend time with him; it was hard seeing him like that. But I did offer a few words of encouragement here and there and instructed my friends in front of him to take good care of him, LOL! One nurses' aide gowning up in front of his room didn't know I knew him and was going on about how he looked like a street person and how he smelled, etc. I calmly explained that one can't assume anything, that he was a very dignified gentleman and should be treated as such. (she is the same problem child I've spoken of elsewhere). Shoulda seen the look on her face when she found out I knew him. Should have heard the fake greeting as she walked into his room!

    I felt so bad that I couldnt' spend a lot of time with him, I was busy but more than that I could hardly be with him, I felt so shy and uncomfortable, (VERY unusual for ME, trust me!) I read that he died on one of my days off and I felt horrible that I hadn't said more to him about how much he'd meant to me. I did ask him if he wanted me to call anyone in aa and he didn't (his obit did mention AA BTW).

    Later, recriminating myself for not doing more, I realized it had a lot to do with my Dad's coming up in years and how I don't want to deal with that. Dad has had cancer twice in the last 4 years and it's been totally eradicated. But one day there will be the inevitable.

    Thanks again for providing the forum for this, you are a love! and I am glad you are feeling better!
  9. by   Liddle Noodnik
    Originally posted by spacenurse
    Your post should be sent to a publication.
    I'm thinking one for the general public, not just nurses.
    THANK YOU!
    I was thinking that too! Great minds, LOL!
  10. by   Liddle Noodnik
    Originally posted by BSNfromMCN
    I knew that this experience would come sooner or later, I just wish I knew how to deal with it.
    Hi hon,

    This IS how you deal with it. Cry, feel, think, talk. It will get better. If you get cold about it you won't be effective. But you will learn to let them go and not feel guilty. One of my first ones I felt so guilty I went to the autopsy to be sure there was nothing more I could have done or shouldn't have done. Believe it or not it helped (he died from a pulmonary embolus, nothing one could have done; back then we didn't use anticoags prophyllactically, am I spelling that right?)

    {{{{{{{{{{{{{BSNfromMCN}}}}}}}}
  11. by   Liddle Noodnik
    Originally posted by domgo
    but is a happy time too, because the people dont feel more pain in his body and rest, Im think the death is a natural process of the life, and the important is all what we done and all what we can give to other people and family.

    (sorry for my english).
    Your English is just fine, you spoke with your heart!

    I agree with you! Please keep posting to us!
  12. by   Liddle Noodnik
    Originally posted by RNFROG3
    the nurse called me at 0200 and said it wouldn't be long. She passed peacefully away at 7:30.
    {{{{{{{{{{{{RNFROG3}}}}}}}}}}}

    WOW. Awesome. How lucky she was to have you with her.
  13. by   RN auditor
    Ted, what a very moving story. May we, as nurses, never forget that every death is profound. What you did for that gentleman that night is what nurses do. There when no one else is, allow someone dignity and comfort until the very end. I hope in my last days on this earth I may have a nurse as caring and concientious as you.

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