A Father's Tears

This patient who in the recent past has affected my life most profoundly never actually took a breath on this planet. Nurses Announcements Archive Article

You are reading page 6 of A Father's Tears

Specializes in Obstetrics, M/S, Family medicine.

As a new OB nurse, I thank you for bringing this to my attention before I encounter it. It was beautifully written.

I thank you (and that beautiful baby boy) for a lesson well learned.

OrlyRose1992

6 Posts

Wow. How touching. I don't know what it is like to lose a child, let alone have a child. This can teach a lot of how people act in situations. Although the father was described as "macho" he is still a human being with human emotions. I know people that have lost children and I reach out to all people who have lost children, or any loved ones!! I will take this story to heart because when I get my RN license I don't want to forget that patients have emotions and aren't just the diseases they have or their hospital ID number!!

Specializes in Trauma, ER, ICU, CCU, PACU, GI, Cardiology, OR.

unquestionably, this is one of the most touching heartfelt article of human emotions that i have ever read. needless to say, as a single father i would be totally devastated if i lose one of my children...thank you for sharing this unforgettable story... aloha~

Pinkmegan

45 Posts

A beautiful, moving story, so well told. When our daughter died my husband was so numb with grief that he could not even shed a tear. In my own grief I felt his pain as he is an emotional person who can cry at sad TV shows, films etc. Others might have found him hard and uncaring but, knowing him as I did, after 10 yrs of marriage, most of which had been spent trying for a baby, I knew his grief was way off the scale for any show of any emotions.

This happened in 1984. Our baby was 14 months old. She had an ASD, VSD & pulmonary hypertension. She needed a heart & lung transplant but, back then, they were in their infancy so not available for her. They operated to try to close the defects but the pressure from her lungs was too great. I can't say that she died peacefully as she was in the midst of a resuscitation attempt which involved her wound being torn open to allow direct heart massage. I asked them to stop but was told they could not. Had she lived she would have had, at the most, a few years of poor quality of life with severe breathing problems. I'm happy that she was spared that. She was our only child and still is.

Specializes in Trauma, ER, ICU, CCU, PACU, GI, Cardiology, OR.
she was our only child and still is.

may you both be blessed with healthy children in the near future as i keep you my prayers... aloha~

Elvish, BSN, DNP, RN, NP

4 Articles; 5,259 Posts

Specializes in Community, OB, Nursery.
A beautiful, moving story, so well told. When our daughter died my husband was so numb with grief that he could not even shed a tear. In my own grief I felt his pain as he is an emotional person who can cry at sad TV shows, films etc. Others might have found him hard and uncaring but, knowing him as I did, after 10 yrs of marriage, most of which had been spent trying for a baby, I knew his grief was way off the scale for any show of any emotions.

This happened in 1984. Our baby was 14 months old. She had an ASD, VSD & pulmonary hypertension. She needed a heart & lung transplant but, back then, they were in their infancy so not available for her. They operated to try to close the defects but the pressure from her lungs was too great. I can't say that she died peacefully as she was in the midst of a resuscitation attempt which involved her wound being torn open to allow direct heart massage. I asked them to stop but was told they could not. Had she lived she would have had, at the most, a few years of poor quality of life with severe breathing problems. I'm happy that she was spared that. She was our only child and still is.

Pinkmegan, I am so so sorry for the loss of your sweet daughter. Thank you for this heartfelt response, and I pray that you and your husband have found peace.

simonemyheart

49 Posts

Specializes in cardiac.

Thank you, that was an amazing story.

Specializes in Pediatrics.

I am a doula and this... this... Just. Thank you.

Beautiful, moving and thought - provoking.

Thank you.

MarieG

6 Posts

Hey. Thank you for this! I lost a baby two years ago of 16 weeks. It was a horrible experience becauae the nursing staff wanted me to deliver in the emergency ward. I refused and was not very nice during my refusal. They refused even harder and my obgyn who is also my family doctor came to my rescue. She told them to just give me a room and she would take charge of me. As a nurse i realized what that meant. No nurse to assist my doctor. I could not get a Peri, no bath, no ball no pain meds, no nurse. My husband who is also a nurse begged for some pain reliever. I got 30mg morphine im. No nurse to assess for repiratory depression. My husband put alarms on watch and woke up to assess. But when that beautiful Kaylia came to this world the post partum team kicked in. And u know what! They did exactly what u did. They encouraged us to hold her, keep her warm, blankets and hat, pictures.

Unfortunatly my husband had to be tough cause there was no one to care for me other then dr who was coming in every 3 hours for more cytotec during the birth. But after the birth, when i was finally taken in charge by nurses, i could never forget the utter despair i saw in his eyes when he held our daughter. Men suffer a lot and no one even talks about it. Thank u for this. Thank u for showing me that my experience is unique and there are nice teams out there. Very touching.

MarieG

6 Posts

Ooos. Just realized this was an old post.... How come it showed up as new?

Elvish, BSN, DNP, RN, NP

4 Articles; 5,259 Posts

Specializes in Community, OB, Nursery.
Ooos. Just realized this was an old post.... How come it showed up as new?

Thank you so much for your kind words. I am so sorry your experience was not what it should have been, and I hope you find (or have found) healing.

Someone else found this thread a day or two ago and commented on it, which kind of kicked it back up to the top of the forum....so that's why you saw it!