Saw my first code today

  1. I didn't participate except for paper work and foot work with my precep, but I saw my first code today. A suicide by hanging. He basically arrived DOA, but CPR was continually performed by EMT's and then the ED (cold outside,etc). When I saw the pictures of his little kids and his drivers license, it shook me up. He was so young and handsome. It really upset me to see somebody close to my age feel so helpless and hopeless to take his own life. I havn't been able to stop thinking about him. Even while I was shoveling snow a few hours ago, I thought to myself, "he'll never see snow again" "never build another snow man with his kids".
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  2. 10 Comments

  3. by   NurseDixie
    Vhope,
    That is so sad. Even though you don't know them personally, you can't help but think things like you said (not seeing snow anymore, seeing his kid's pictures...). Try not to dwell on it. {I had a nephew who committed suicide and it has ruined my brother's life, he is still grieving after 4 years. He is disabled d/t depression, dysfunctional grieving,etc.}
    The family of this poor man you are talking about needs our prayers.
    Take care.
    Dixie
  4. by   WalkingInTheRain
    I'm sorry to hear about that, I hope you get better. I hope his family does too, in the end it's the person's choice, people can only help so much. Just hang in there
  5. by   Hellllllo Nurse
    vhope-

    ((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))).

    I'm so sorry. What a tragedy.

    It's hard to know what to think or how to feel in a case like this. His poor kids.
  6. by   traumaRUs
    Its very hard dealing with suicide. Have you talked about the experience with your preceptor? You might consider critical incident stress debriefing. Completely confidential - it gives the code team a chance to wind down. EDs use it often.
  7. by   nursemichelle
    How terribly sad, I'm sorry you had to go through this, and I feel so sorry for his family.
  8. by   nekhismom
    ((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))

    Sorry you had to deal with this. Maybe some counseling will help you deal with how you're feeling??
  9. by   hock1
    Quote from traumaRUs
    Its very hard dealing with suicide. Have you talked about the experience with your preceptor? You might consider critical incident stress debriefing. Completely confidential - it gives the code team a chance to wind down. EDs use it often.
    Hmmm, I don't know why I didn't think of that. It sounds like something I may consider if I can't rid myself of the picture in my head. Feeling better now, though. Thanks everybody.
  10. by   Sadie04
    ((((Vhope)))) take care of yourself!
  11. by   orchid
    Orchid sends hugs to you..........guess its part of our job
  12. by   TinyNurse
    xoxo from me, wow what an awful "first code" that you were in.
    As a new nurse 9 months out in the ED, I can honestly say that "it is way more difficult when the code is of your age or younger" it's probably one of the hardest things ever. Walk outside with your preceptor or something and talk. Tell your charge nurse that you need a few minutes, usually they understand why.

    xoxo Jen

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