Preceptor who sits all day

Nurses New Nurse

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Gotta love my preceptor yesterday. I took the full patient load, handled just about everything on my own, save a few complicated situations which she took over from the beginning, now allowing me in on the information and hand-off. So, then she sort of sits at the nursing station all day long, chatting with her buds, or just disappearing back to the break room to take her personal calls all day. She did have a phone, but it was busy about half the time.

This is a traveler who they will have orient everyone -- but in no way do these folks follow you closely all day. It's just like -- come to me if you need me, let me criticize you for things I didn't even discuss with you first -- and also let me tell you that I "bailed you out" of things that I took control of from the get go, never allowing you the opportunity to get the full story so you could have a chance and solving the issues.

One of the other nurses even got mad at her along with me -- totally noticing that Ms. Preceptor was sitting at the station all day long while I needed help in the rooms.

I'm not complaining at a very serious level about it ...but it sucks sometimes to be oriented this way.

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Specializes in Did the job hop, now in MS. Not Bad!!!!!.

I agree 100% and in addition cried all the way home both last nite and night before. Prob is, I have everything riding on this. But one more cry and they're for sure going to write me up. Or write me off.

Perhaps I'd even be allowed to learn my job if I wasn't constantly having to fear losing it because of some policy, validation, check off, threat...Give me an actual orientation that teaches me to do my job and earn some competence and be able to make a difference and THEN perhaps I should be checked off on that 40 page orientation "review" of validation for skills????

Worn out, stressed out, and fed up.

I got eaten for dinner tonight by the big old timer nurse and I want to crawl under a rock.

:(

Chloe

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Specializes in cardiac/education.
I agree 100% and in addition cried all the way home both last nite and night before. Prob is, I have everything riding on this. But one more cry and they're for sure going to write me up. Or write me off.

Perhaps I'd even be allowed to learn my job if I wasn't constantly having to fear losing it because of some policy, validation, check off, threat...Give me an actual orientation that teaches me to do my job and earn some competence and be able to make a difference and THEN perhaps I should be checked off on that 40 page orientation "review" of validation for skills????

Worn out, stressed out, and fed up.

I got eaten for dinner tonight by the big old timer nurse and I want to crawl under a rock.

:(

Chloe

(((((Chloe)))))):icon_hug::flowersfo

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Specializes in cardiac/education.

I know it sucks. Brings back bad memories, lol. Sounds like you will be out from under her wing soon though! Good for you that you are managing it all!:yeah:

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Specializes in Did the job hop, now in MS. Not Bad!!!!!.
I know it sucks. Brings back bad memories, lol. Sounds like you will be out from under her wing soon though! Good for you that you are managing it all!:yeah:

Thanks for thinkiing the best. I' m thinking the worst. I kinda wish sometimes that a bad fate would befall me on my way to work....no career is worth this. I haven't slept but 2 hours after all this horror and I have to return for another 12 hour that may just be my last. I cannot stop crying and the racing thoughts are driving me batty. I'm so sore and achy, and now nausea setting in...

Crap, gotta get moving.

Thanks for the hug. Glad somebody cares

:scrying:

Chloe

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Oh, Cloe -- I am so sorry you're feeling so bad. I've been there and done that a few times over. I've also been knawed on by those old veteran nurses who just seem to be made of spit and vinegar. They'll reel you in with their sweetness and then, when you're not expecting it, will bite you in the leg -- and man does it HURT!

You know what -- one day during my orientation I took a "ME" day and just called in sick after I had only had 2 hrs of sleep the night before.

That day I went into my healthcare clinic and got prescriptions for something to help me sleep at night, and something to calm me down at the end of the day. I don't even take a whole capsule of them at night - -just a half or so. One is Lunesta, which helps me to get a descent night's rest, which is crucial to me with such a hard job and also being a full time single parent. The other is a bit of klonazepam to calm me down a bit when I am just in that "hovering in the clouds" sort of stressed out state.

I know some would criticize, but these two meds have helped me to calm down, to forget out work, to really rest and relax on my day's off. Yes, I get stressed, but I have enough "off" time now in a good state to really put it all in perspective.

So, take a ME day, and find whatever it takes to help you relax and process. Get some counseling perhaps -- I did that also for a few sessions to help me sort things out. I've also joined a gym and have started exercising and yoga to relieve stress.

Your life is worth SO much -- don't ever say that something should befall you before work. you are worth too much. You should either find a way to change your situation, find a new unit where you're more comfortable, or make some sort of change, or to get help to put in into a perspective that you can handle.

Some of my own stress is caused by my own attitudes - I will admit that. So, I work at that, also, try to get excited about "what I will learn that day," but when I get these type of preceptors sometimes, it really does make it worse.

Right now I'm at a point where I'm thankful to a lot of my other preceptors, and I really like my overseeing coordinator. I do NOT like some of the more rude nurses and really don't enjoy taking care of the type of patients we get on our floor. I'm exploring jobs at another hospital, and I also do a lot of research on my off days as to what direction I want to take once I've finished up my obligation at this unit. Somehow doing that makes me realize that this job is NOT forever and that I'm only here to get experience and then I will move on.

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Specializes in Did the job hop, now in MS. Not Bad!!!!!.
Oh, Cloe -- I am so sorry you're feeling so bad. I've been there and done that a few times over.

You know what -- one day during my orientation I took a "ME" day and just called in sick after I had only had 2 hrs of sleep the night before.

That day I went into my healthcare clinic and got prescriptions for something to help me sleep at night, and something to calm me down at the end of the day. I don't even take a whole capsule of them at night - -just a half or so. One is Lunesta, which helps me to get a descent night's rest, which is crucial to me with such a hard job and also being a full time single parent. The other is a bit of klonazepam to calm me down a bit when I am just in that "hovering in the clouds" sort of stressed out state.

I know some would criticize, but these two meds have helped me to calm down, to forget out work, to really rest and relax on my day's off. Yes, I get stressed, but I have enough "off" time now in a good state to really put it all in perspective.

Your life is worth SO much -- don't ever say that something should befall you before work. you are worth too much. You should either find a way to change your situation, find a new unit where you're more comfortable, or make some sort of change, or to get help to put in into a perspective that you can handle.

Some of my own stress is caused by my own attitudes - I will admit that. So, I work at that, also, try to get excited about "what I will learn that day," but when I get these type of preceptors sometimes, it really does make it worse.

Right now I'm at a point where I'm thankful to a lot of my other preceptors, and I really like my overseeing coordinator. I do NOT like some of the more rude nurses and really don't enjoy taking care of the type of patients we get on our floor. I'm exploring jobs at another hospital, and I also do a lot of research on my off days as to what direction I want to take once I've finished up my obligation at this unit. Somehow doing that makes me realize that this job is NOT forever and that I'm only here to get experience and then I will move on.

Hiya Thrash & S.of M.,

thanks for the hugs and kindness. I'm sure my own attitude and midlife crisis aren't helping matters. I also apparently suffer from severe PMS that thrown w/ my anxiety double whammy me into a pretty good sprial into depression.

I'm working nights which are kicking me in the royal patootie. On my first "day" off, I am a mushroom. I sleep about 6 hours, force myself to wake and then do nothing but lounge. I am achy, exhausted, and have racing thoughts. I would LOVE to seek help and get something to balance me out.

Unfortunately, I'm having trouble now finding the time to go, as well as the who to go to. I'm new to this area and have no doc. I would LOVE to get back into the gym as when I look better I feel better too. I still have yet to experience the "high" of my own endorphins, but I keep reading about how exercise is supposed to have this effect. Hmmmmm....ok. :clown:

The icing on my cake tho Thrash, is that I'm all alone at teh end of my work. No one to return home to and so that is one less thing that I have in common with anyone on my unit. And I don't see how working nights in an OB/Gyn unit is going to help me find anyone. So that's one more thing to make me feel sorry for myself about. And so I must throw everything I have into being the best night OB nurse I can be.

Good news is, last night was a little better. Different staff too. So they assured me that what I thought were big mistakes from the night before really weren't and everyone does them. At least once!

So hugs to you too! And thank you!!

:nurse:

Chloe

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Specializes in cardiac/education.

So you went into OB, huh? I PM'd you, don't know if you got it...

And endorphins..you have to work out pretty hard for those to kick in! And be in good shape in the first place really cuz until then workouts just seem tough! Go figure.

I hope you find something Chloe. I understand what you mean about going home and being alone. Even though I am married now, I remember those days. I am very lucky, I know. But, even still, I may be in your shoes all over again in a few months if I do indeed decide to tackle this career all over again!:uhoh21:

Keep us posted!:redbeathe

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Hi Chloe -- with those racing thoughts, I do think you need to find someone to see you. That is a classic sign of depression/anxiety. Perhaps some zoloft or something would help. I know because I've had them when I had post partum depression and it was the only thing that stopped them.

I know it must be hard to come home to no one -- I can't speak to that. I come home to kids, but that's it. Hubby is deployed for a few more months and has been gone almost a year. My problem is I have no down time at ALL -- once I'm home kids are crawling all over my neck -- and although i love them to death, it's just murder when I'm so exhausted and have to start meeting their needs on top of someone else's for the past 14 hrs. I wonder how one woman got assigned so much responsibility!

Perhaps start finding a way to relax that helps you meet people also -- classes, activities, whatever. Life is definitely better when shared -- with the right person.

Right now I'd just give anything for a good support person -- my mom has passed on and my MIL is absolutely no help -- no famly in the area either. It's all on ME and I'm BEAT.:bugeyes:

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Specializes in Did the job hop, now in MS. Not Bad!!!!!.

Hi Thrash/S.O.M.,

I'm here and my eyes are so puffy I can barely open them to see. I'm exhausted!! But gotta get moving to head into work shortly. I had enough sleep last night/today, but feels like I could go another 12 hours.

I do need some treatment. I know. PMS shouldn't last THIS long! LOL. But as a new orient to my facility, they are demanding that I go to specialty classes, in service trainings and exams, readings, research...all on my own time. I don't get any ME time when I'm off the clock. And I'm running the minute I hit the floor (a whole half hour early before my assigned time).

I hope that as I learn my job, I'll be faster and more time managed, because I hate to think that at this point in my life, I'm doing nothing but hurting myself mentally, physically, emotionally for nothing but paying off the massive debt that nursing school (over $55k) cost me. And I surely cannot quit.

Once I have my own place (I'm trying to buy), I plan to adopt a couple kitties, so I'll have that love in my life. Not the same as a SO by any means tho. I truly enjoy my private time. I'm just so damned lonely too.

Thanks for your kind words and follow thru gals (Thrash, my email here is full; get me at the other one I gave you)

Chloe

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Specializes in Cardiac Nursing, ICU.

Amen to that sister!!!

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