New RN; I want to quit my job already.

[irishlynn5]

Hello,

I am a new graduate RN who has been so lucky in her current job in a PA hospital on a busy intermediate/telemetry floor. ( I was an aide for about 2 years on the floor- so everyone had all these crazy high expectations for me) I have been here as an RN for about 6 months now (I've been on my own for about 2 months now- 12 hour night shift). I am trying to give it time, honestly I am. But I can't do it anymore. I have come to dread my job, I hate it when I'm there, I hate it when I'm home. I feel like I am always in a fog and my relationships and friendships are failing because of it. I can't go to the gym anymore or have time to cook healthy (which is things I used to love doing!), or do anything I once loved. I have seemed to find myself in this depression and constant anxiety. I am always trying to catch up on sleep and when I'm with my friends and family I can barely even follow the conversations I am so tired. I am always crying (at home, at work- embarrassing!-, on the drive home from work). I don't feel like I fit in on my floor (with the nurses, I am so focused on getting my work done) and I am a complete nervous wreck. I am so disappointed in myself; I am so bad at IVs, I feel so stupid on my job, all I have time to do is get my tasks done. I am so scared I am not going to notice when my patients going down the tubes or what I am going to do when that dreaded first code for me happens. When I finally do have a good day the day shift comes in and gets mad at me for not knowing something little about the patient that I didn't think to ask the day shift I got report from. I'm miserable, depressed, and at a loss of what to do. I can't quit because I need to have another job in order to do that. And if you haven't noticed the job market is not that great for a new graduate with less than a year's experience. I've discussed some of my issues with my boss but he just says "that's nursing, this is normal". I don't think it's normal to be crying almost every day and losing yourself because of it. I really don't want to go to a LTC or a SAR because I feel like it will be even worse (med passing and not having enough time for my patients) Does anyone have any words of inspiration or ideas of other places (or search terms for new jobs) to apply to?

PS. Let it be known I do not want to quit nursing, just my current job. I know nursing is for me. I love nursing, I really do. What makes my days are my patients and when I have a chance to sit down and spend time with them and not worry about all the charting I have to get done and all the medications I am behind on. I had a patient that was going to die and it was so amazing to sit there and hold her hand and make it easier for her to go. That being said I'd love to go into hospice/palliative. But it seems even for that you need > 2 years experience! I think it's really just this floor that is killing me. The patient ratios at night are crazy for patients that are so critical. Ugh. ( I don't feel like I am giving my patients all the time they deserve) That being said my hospital is very small and there are no other floors for me to transfer to. Help.

[TraumaSurfer]

Try to get a serious focus on your health and fine tuning your body to accept night shift until you pay your dues to transfer.

Become a q3 eater. Package small portions in little containers to munch on easily and quickly throughout the night. Eat a well balanced light meal for your main break.

Drinks lots of water. Night shifter workers are dehydrated constantly.

Avoid sugar loaded products and caffeine. Yes, no coffee or only in moderation at the beginning of the shift. Drink green tea which may have some caffeine. Read the labels.

Get a routine which might be simple stretching before and after work.

Drink a warm non decaf beverage and read something when you get home. Get to a quiet place or personal space in your home or favorite park and in your mind.

Make sure your shoes are comfortable. Simple as it sounds, it sets the mood for the night if your feet hurt.

Try to at least take a long brisk walk on your days off.

Once your body adjusts, your mental outlook will gradually get better.

Cut yourself some slack. You are new. Night shift people tend to be a crusty bunch at first but most will warm up to new comers eventually. Don't be afraid to ask for advice.

But, until then, focus on your body and health. Keep work at work. I don't even wear my clothes to and from work. Once I clock out, I change clothes and become who I like most. My personal space might be sitting on a beach for awhile after work and appreciating I can do that because I work in a profession which allows me to live just about anywhere. Remember you work to LIVE and not live to work.

Doing 12 hours shifts you are only spending 36 hours at work. The rest of that time is yours. Make plans on your first day off to do something in the afternoon. Make an appointment to pamper yourself. Go to the mall and window shop. Meet a friend for a movie and/or dinner or late lunch. Make a list of all the stuff you haven't done lately like a museum, the theater, a concert or some attraction in your community or nearby.

[SHGR, MSN, RN, CNS]

Everything TraumaSurfer said is true. Night shift is hard. I remember one January when I didn't see daylight the whole month! That can worsen depression. Things you might try: Vitamin D supplementation, a light box (the kind for SAD), making sure you are getting enough real food and not just vending machine snacks and Diet Coke, and blackout curtains or blinds so that you really sleep in the dark.

Working straight PMs was actually the best for me as that most closely matches my natural circadian rhythm. Could you switch to PM shift? Hang in there. I know you feel like the expectations are high but the reality is you are a new grad and need support in your transition.

[Carrie RN]

Black out curtains and a sound machine are a must when working nights. You have to make sleep a priority. It takes awhile to become confident as a nurse. Any new grad that tells me they are having an easy time probably is doing a bad job. Over time try to leave work at work. Make some goals for what you want and the steps to get you out of there.

[blondy2061h, MSN, RN]

There are no words to fully describe how rude /disrespectful that was.

You couldn't spend the additional 2 minutes to finish her post, yet felt you could not only advise, but do some of your own venting.

Agree! This is exactly what I thought! I do wonder if more defined paragraphs might help people read it. Some people get intimidated by "walls of text."

That being said, I did read the post. It sounds like a ton of the OP's issues are related to working night shift and the rest are normal new grad issues. The longer you're able to keep this job, the more likely you are that a day shift position will come your way. Also, the longer you're able to keep this job the more comfortable you'll be and the new grad issues will fad. I'd encourage you to read through the many posts here on night shift sleep issues and figure out a schedule that works for you.

[mtngrl, ASN, RN]

I would def be looking for a new job pronto....I wouldn't be miserable like that to just to get a year in, no way, you will end up severely depressed. Sounds like hospital nursing is not for you. That's exactly how I felt when I started a job on night shift at a hospital. I left after a month for the same reasons you listed. And I did not even have a job lined up, but I just told myself I'd rather go bankrupt than endure one more second of that. I ended up getting hired shortly after working with developmentally disabled young adults, where I stayed for several years! See if there are group homes like that in your area, they are a wonderful population to work with!

[BuckyBadgerRN, ASN, RN]

Wow. If your bedside manner is as rude as this response was to the OP who was looking for a proverbial shoulder to cry on, than I agree--bedside care is NOT for you!

[KariZayBSN]

I agree with many of the posters: GET OFF NIGHT SHIFT.

My first nursing job in the ICU (worst mistake) was 12hour nights and I felt just like you! I left after 6 months and took a position as Weekend only 7am-7p position at a nursing home. I found that my disposition and confidence was so much better working days. I regret leaving the ICU though to find out that my problem was night shift.

If at all possible try to stay at the hospital but try to move to a day position. DON'T QUIT! Leaving will start you on the wrong path in your nursing career. Have an open dialogue with your manager. They may be willing to move your shift to evenings or even days in order to keep you.

Good luck to you!

[GundeRN]

I know exactly how you feel, and I was just given a full time case manager position with hospice this week :)

First of all, this is not going to be your life. Tell yourself this every day. There is a light at then end of the tunnel. It is temporary suffering to attain a higher goal. Stay at least 6 more months at your current job. It will get better. Once I hit the year mark I was amazed at how much more at ease I felt with the hospital job and by then a new crop of "newbies" will be the prey (sad to say, but at least you will be off the hook). Things that NEVER go away, it could take forever to get off night shifts depending on how many people have seniority above you so you are going to have to get used to that, or 12hr shifts , I decided this schedule just wasn't good for me. I also got really sick of answering call lights for none-nurse related things. I'm not saying I feel above toileting, turning, getting food, fluffing pillows, blah blah blah but seriously, this is what I felt like I did 80% of the time. Waste of education if you ask me.

Hospice is great. It's not as good of pay but my life and peace of mind matter so much more. I am out and about all day and the time flies. Sure I work 5 days a week instead of two but I FEEL like I work less and when I ma home I have more energy. At work I do MUCH more symptom managment and have a lot more time to spend talking to my patients instead of just running from task to task.

Hang in there girl, you can do it. There are greener pastures ahead. All those life changing ideas above are great ones but I understand how hard it is to make healthy choices when you are so drained. Find what personally recharges you and find time for it. This will pass!

[TU RN, DNP, CRNA]

I don't understand the "get off night shift" suggestions. I am also on night shift and many of the OP's complaints echo my own. Day shift is so much busier though. Wouldn't being blasted with the stress of day shift be detrimental to a new nurse who is still working on their time management?

[DavidDudley]

Day shift is much busier but not sleeping is way more stressful for a lot of people than dealing with the chaos of day shift. I actually prefer day chaos because it keeps me more busy and more productive.

I think day shift is better for new nurses because their being blasted, not detrimental. Tough situations, tough patients help you to become a better nurse. The hospital shifts I had where I was drowning in my work and so behind are the days that have taught me time management, not the slow easy days.

[GARY_FL_NURSE]

Why don't you try LTC nursing? It's a lot less stressful and yes you do get to spend time with your patients because in LTC your patients are usually with you a lot longer than your patients on a telemetry floor or in a hospital. I've been a LTC nurse for all my career in nursing and have not regretted one day over 12+ years. It is true you don't use your skills as much as you do in a hospital but so what? You still use some skills for your patients.

The best things I like about LTC is 1) my patients are usually with me longer, 2) I never have a Dr or a nurse manager on my back, 3) nursing home work is on a smaller scale than a large or medium sized hospital.

I think you should at least give LTC care a try just to see if you like it. I remember when I was in my last college semester for my RN I recall a lot of my fellow students making comments about how they would never work in a nursing home. Oh yeah? Well here it is 12 years later into my career and I DON'T have a hole in my stomach and I'm NOT burned out over my job. I love it and look forward to going to work every shift.

Good luck with your decisions.

[DavidDudley]

The grass isn't necessarily greener at LTC. Just looking in the LTC forum here on allnurses and you'll see how so many nurses have so many issues with LTC, such as crazy insane nurse to patient ratios, overwhelming workload, endless charting, management being down your throat regarding any and every tiny mistake you make. You might thrive in LTC, but the majority of nurses who work it don't.