Quote from Nyla Maddox
I fear losing my license over making a negligent mistake after orientation is over
I fear the things I don't know that I don't know ( if that makes sense)
I fear missing the critical signs in a patient because I'm overwhelmed with being task oriented and they end up dying.
First thing's first: your fears are completely normal and even beneficial at this stage. They're going to help keep you sharp while you slowly close the experience gap that you're struggling with.
I was where you are three years ago (new grad, fresh off of orientation, trauma / neuroscience ICU) and I felt the exact same way.
My advice, don't overdo it on the classes/reading etc. in addition to work. What you need right now more than anything is to just do the job. If you overwhelm yourself trying to memorize everything, it's only going to detract from your performance. Good nurses don't get that way by memorizing things out of a book, they get that way with experience, and experience takes time. Allow yourself room to make mistakes. Learn from them.
Plan to take the CCRN exam at the 2 to 2 1/2 year mark. THAT'S when hitting the books will really pay dividends, because you'll have been doing the job long enough to put things in context and help the information stick.
Until then, go in to work motivated to learn. When you get home, look up ONLY what you had questions about that day, and then ENJOY YOUR TIME OFF
. Now is the time to develop good habits w/regards to striking a balance between work and the rest of your life.
Remember, you're right where you're supposed to be and everyone felt that way (even if some don't remember).