How to not feel embarrassed or dumb when you dont know a skill?

Nurses New Nurse

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I just accepted a position with a pediatric clinic after 18 months of looking for a job. I am very excited but at the same time terrified. I know in nursing school that learning skills is difficult at times, due to rules & regulations or sometimes the fact that your preceptor doesnt focus on that :(

I did a pediatric internship on a unit and LOVED it but we were not allowed to do anything really procedure wise. We never learned how to start IVs, draw labs, or do minor procedures that you would see in a Peds office. And of course being out of work for 18 months, I feel like I am starting new. I was out due to major health issues and am now ready to return to the workforce.

I just feel like when I begin work and am asked to setup or perform a certain procedure or treatment and dont know how....that nurses and doctors are going to look at me like i have 2 heads when I tell them that I need help. :blink: How do you make that feeling go away?

I am starting to understand from other posts that you learn on the job as you go. The nurse manager that hired me is extremely warm and friendly, encouraging me not to be nervous but I cant help it. When I get nervous I get red-faced and feel like an idiot when I have to say "I Dont know" or "I have never done that". Any advice?

I have never done a breathing tx, cathed a pediatric patient, or done lead testing, ect. Does this all come with experience/practice? Nursing school seems that it is so full of BOOK learning and not enough hands on learning skills :(

Thanks for hearing my rant!

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There is no shame in saying you haven't done something before. In fact, asking questions is essential to being a safe nurse. However, when dealing with patients, I like to say, "let me find out for you" or "let me check on that so I can get you more detailed information." For colleagues, it may be "would you show me how you like the room set up for this procedure?" (or they may have documentation or a list for how they like it set up).

After a while, you will lose the fear of admitting you don't know something. If it's any consolation, even if you knew EVERYTHING about all of these procedures, there would likely be some differences based on equipment variations from place to place. As such, there is nothing wrong with saying, "Can I watch you once or twice so that I can observe what equipment you use and where items are stored?" Sometimes it's just a matter of wording...there is a way to ask for help professionally.

Additionally, if I only need help with one specific thing, I try to phrase my question thusly: "I have been signed off on the catheterization procedure and I feel comfortable, but I am having trouble finding the straight cath trays...could you help me?" By asking questions this way, you save your colleagues time, and you also inform them that you are not groping blindly. Similarly, "I know that XYZ med is used for XYZ indication, but have you ever encountered patients with XYZ side effect?" Showing you have "done your homework" helps a lot.

Best of luck to you! :up:

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Specializes in ICU.

There is NO SHAME in asking for help or guidance. It is better to say 'I don't know,' than be too proud or embarrassed and put a patient at risk.

If you are primarily worried about skills, watch YouTube videos and practice visualization. I cannot stress how important I think visualization is. This is how I got through check offs as both a student and a nurse. If I had a check off sheet for reference, I closed my eyes and went through each step. If it was something more complicated, I also walked myself through troubleshooting.

I started doing this when I realized I couldn't just be competent at something, but some things need to be automatic and systematic so that when I encountered problems I didn't have to think about it too much. There are some skills you may not physically get to practice to the point of non-failure, and I think this is an OK way around that.

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I've been a nurse for almost 15 years and I still feel dumb once in a while!! It's totally normal and I'm sure it happens to many people in all sorts of professions. Just remember... you aren't expected to know everything.

At most new grad jobs your preceptor will work with you and build upon your skills and comfort level with patient acuity and procedures. Everyday will become a little easier, I promise! The worst thing you can do is NOT ask questions or NOT say that you've never done something before, that's when you'll get yourself in trouble...

Take a deep breath and don't beat yourself up..

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Thank you for the advice......I have some new ways to ask in a professional/right way for help with something I have never done. I am coming off of a bad experience from a past job where I would ask and get told "NO" to my face and the nurse would walk away shaking her head as if saying "figure it out on your own".....I was also called stupid in front of a group of nurses.

I am trying to rebuild and remember that not everyone is like this and some people do want you to learn!

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Specializes in Cardiology, Cardiothoracic Surgical.

My most recent preceptor left me with some valuable advice this past week...she said skills like starting IVs can be taught to anyone, but the most important skills to have as a new nurse are to learn when to ask the right questions, be comfortable with being uncomfortable, and identify who to get help from when you're overfaced with a problem.

If your place of work was paying the slightest bit of attention to you in your interview, they would have identified you are rusty and have been out of practice for a while, and will need to spend extra time re-developing your 'nurse sense' and your skills of care. Be honest with what you don't know, ask someone to show you, and have them watch you to make sure you perform a skill correctly.

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My most recent preceptor left me with some valuable advice this past week...she said skills like starting IVs can be taught to anyone, but the most important skills to have as a new nurse are to learn when to ask the right questions, be comfortable with being uncomfortable, and identify who to get help from when you're overfaced with a problem.

If your place of work was paying the slightest bit of attention to you in your interview, they would have identified you are rusty and have been out of practice for a while, and will need to spend extra time re-developing your 'nurse sense' and your skills of care. Be honest with what you don't know, ask someone to show you, and have them watch you to make sure you perform a skill correctly.

Thank you...this helps :)

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I'm a PA. Graduated just a few months ago. Although we had to get checked off on some things, there are still some things that I am allowed to do that I never did during my training. That's because, even after certification, we are still able to gain skills. Most medical schools and PA schools have the phrase "see one, do one, teach one".... meaning you observe someone do it, next time you do it, and the next time you can teach someone else to do it. My doctor and I have a very good relationship, and if there is something I haven't done or don't feel comfortable with, I just say, "Hey, would you mind doing this procedure this time so I can watch your technique and you could give me tips?" He is always very happy to do this, as I'm sure your colleagues would be. No one in their right mind should look down on you for wanting to improve your skills.

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I am starting to relax as my start date approaches. I realize I can only do my best and no one should expect me to be "super nurse" as I get back into things. I will definitely be asking for someone to show me something I don't know so I can get a handle of it before attempting myself. I purchased a pocket pediatric clinical guide for reference and have my cdc vaccine schedule cards ready ;)

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