What was the MOST ridiculous thing a patient came to the ER for? - page 43

and do you have to treat them? I am just curious. Your stories always seem to either crack me up or shake my head in amazement. Thanks for sharing :)... Read More

  1. by   jsteine1
    Quote from mtnmom
    we had a lady come in over the weekend presenting with what she initially termed "marbles in her uterus" that turned out to be two wooden eggs (yes, the size of small chicken eggs) inserted in the vagina by pt and her partner that were for purposes of sexual gratification?!?! The eggs could not be removed except to be extracted with forceps by the MD.
    AND.....MEDICAID is being billed for this, of course!!!!

    A couple enjoying some romance had a rough night many years ago in NYC. She had vaginismus and he had priapism.. Not funny in reality, dangerous for the man for sure, but surely not an everyday occurance!
  2. by   menolly_33
    Quote from JVanRN
    we had a guy stick a remote control up his butt. had to get it surgically removed. i mean i guess he had a valid reason to be there after the fact...but why and how?..



    Maybe his SO said "if you change that channel one more time, I'm gonna shove that up your..." I know it's what I've wanted to do more than once.:roll
  3. by   angel_in_sneakers
    well, here goes. i worked in an er in a small community a short time ago and a couple of cases come to mine. on one occassion i had the pleasure of taking a young girl to the back and when i asked what she was being seen for she told me that she had given oral sex to a guy and now she wanted to know if she had contracted a std. on another night that i was not working,,, thank god! a very drunk woman who was found in a ditch was brought in and much to the nurses surprise,,,,,,,a dead frog was found in the woman's vagina, just the legs sticking out, all dried up.

    i recall a case that wasn't as ridiculous as it was just gross. a pt came in who had a carcinoma on the scalp approxiately the size of a lemon. there were many crevices and folds in it... all of which were crawling full of magots. that was a fun irrigation and pluck. i got stuck with it because none of the other nurse could stomach it.

    Quote from andyman1216
    we have a ton of things i could talk forever about that should never be seen in an er. alaska is medicaid capital of the world. but one interesting thing is our hooks.
    the kenai peninsula is regarded as the best salmon/ halibut fishing in the world-literally. we get alot of tourists with fishooks in various places, mostly the face and neck. last two years the month of july (red season) we had over 100. this year we are shy at about 90.not an emergency, but most ppl dont have the cahones to pull them themselves.
    we also get a lot of sinker injuries.
    the weight comes flying out of the water at mach speed and nails the guy behind you right smack in the eyeball. i've seen a lot of nasty faces because of that...
    the best fish hook incident i had the pleasure of caring for was from a very embarassed man who had a hook in his side,, he happened to be a professional bass fisherman.
    Last edit by angel_in_sneakers on Oct 25, '05 : Reason: Automerged Doublepost
  4. by   BabyRN2Be
    Quote from menolly_33
    Maybe his SO said "if you change that channel one more time, I'm gonna shove that up your..." I know it's what I've wanted to do more than once.:roll
    I can sort of relate...

    Also, On Thanksgiving Day I envision the ED being full of lacerations resulting from miscarving turkeys. Is this often the case or not?
  5. by   Reborn
    Quote from BabyRN2Be
    I can sort of relate...

    Also, On Thanksgiving Day I envision the ED being full of lacerations resulting from miscarving turkeys. Is this often the case or not?
    Actually, more likely the local moron brothers getting into over a football game and one shot the other in the gut. I was very burnt out OR nurse and also not a Christian when I was called in for such as that, and jerk-boy had the audacity to c/o that he hadn't eaten dinner yet!

    I told him tough @#$%, thanks to him, neither had I.

    Would be a liitle kinder and gentler now, I'd tell him "tough turkey"
  6. by   popbob
    a women who decided to have anal sex with her husband for the first time. she wa sore.
  7. by   scampi710
    Quote from Stitchie
    Hi Rainbow,
    I don't think that it's a cynical attitude at all, but a realistic one. Yes we have created a dependent society w/no personal responsiblity encourage. Really, calling 911 for head lice is such an abuse of the system and such a downright stupid reason that the paramedics should have the right to refuse something if it isn't truly life threatening. Phone calls to the ER's are still free and any nurse would rather answer a nurse advice call rather than putting up with a head lice 'emergency'. Part of the problem, IMO, is this McDonald's mentality that TV shows, etc., have created. I want what I want when I want it, and I want it all now. It isn't fair to the kid who got hit by a car or the grandmother of 12 who's having a silent MI or that person who walked in to Triage and gasped "I think I'm having a heart attack". And codes on the ER cart faster than you can say "EKG".

    And it's really not fair to the Triage nurse, who has to listen to these people who c/o 'waiting' too long for their head lice emergency in the Triage area. That's why security is there in front -- since the fine folks who utilize our McER have been known to be violent when 'precious' is c/o vomiting once yet running around in bare feet eating chips and drinking coke.

    There's a running joke in our ER about the sickest people being the most considerate. The ones who are well enough to complain about every little thing are too healthy to be in the hospital in the first place and must be there to serve some other purpose, whether it's entertainment or a mental health issue or drug-seeking.

    I'm not talking about those who have become among the many w/o health care. I'm talking about healthy people who aren't sick in the first place. It doesn't appear to be a regional problem but truly an issue that has a large impact on all of us, since our tax money is paying for this nonsense. We have our own collection of FF and just plain abuse the system folks here in Chicago, too.

    OK, back to your regularly scheduled post. Didn't mean to hijack, just vent a little.
    I recently started reading this thread. Most hospitals I have been in recently (I am a traveler) prohibit any phone advice, ergo we are deluged with ridiculous complaints spread amongst serious emergencies. Crazy system.
  8. by   EDValerieRN
    OK, so I finally have one. It's horrible.

    My patient came to the ER because he almost fell, and almost twisted his leg. Almost. He tripped on the carpet in his house. Not the slightest injury, no pain at all.

    His discharge instructions said for him to "be careful on carpeted areas."

    Amazing.
  9. by   Graciegirlienurse
    Quote from FutureNrse
    You know, I just might be able to clear this one up for you all because when I worked in social services, I had a client tell me this. If you are pregnant and plan on applying for welfare, you have to have written proof that you are pregnant. So, these girls go to the ED, have the test done, get a note if it isn't already written on the discharge sheet, and turn it in with the application for aid. And since medi-cal/medicaid is usually retroactive for at least 30 days, the ED visit is covered.
    what about planned parenthood, pregnancy resource center and plenty of other community resources that cen do it for free?!? and mostly on a walk in basis.
  10. by   scampi710
    Quote from jsteine1
    A couple enjoying some romance had a rough night many years ago in NYC. She had vaginismus and he had priapism.. Not funny in reality, dangerous for the man for sure, but surely not an everyday occurance!
    I saw the same thing back in the early 80's. Called it "pelvic lock". Was having a horrible night in the ER and when this came in via ambulance it was almost impossible to keep a professional non-judgemental front. (It was TOTALLY BLACK HUMOR)....used valium to relieve the pelvic muscles. Haven't ever seen it again. We did manage to maintain pt. dignity though!

    Quote from rjflyn
    "I s--t my pants"

    Triage nurses response--" You dont know what a toilet is."


    Rj:uhoh21:
    How about this??? Get this guy in who says "I have a paper clip in my penis". Says I "how did it get there?" Answer "I swallowed it". :chuckle :chuckle The stories are so crazy it sometimes makes everything else that happens tolerable.
    Last edit by scampi710 on Oct 26, '05 : Reason: Automerged Doublepost
  11. by   mich_01085
    Quote from babs_rn
    Here's another one...

    20 y/o "Buffy" type sorority girl at an area university, comes in with the c/o "A bump down there and its tender", hx present x 2 mos.

    External exam by the doc reveals nothing unusual or abnormal, as he palpates around she suddenly says "that's IT!"

    He palpates again. "this?" he asked, with a slight flitter with his finger to make sure he was correct (never mind the WAY that happened)..

    "yes, that" was the answer

    He sat back, removed his gloves, took a deep breath, and said with every amount of composure he could muster...

    "that's your CLITORIS. That's SUPPOSED to be there."

    All I could think was...God bless her, some poor guy finally found it.

    :roll :roll :roll :roll :roll :roll
  12. by   rn in 3 years
    Quote from er_hollyrn
    The first words out of half of patients with abdominal pain have to be, "Can I have something to eat?" And of course the hospital is all about patient satisfaction, so now we have a variety of meal trays delivered 3 times a day. Some of these patients even have the nerve to call dietary and order a special tray if they don't like what we have. We moved into a new ER about 2 years ago. All the rooms have TVs and phones. It's hard as hell to get some of these people to leave.
    My son passed out at school 2 years ago from dehydration (poor thing was sick and din't say anything because it was finals week). He got an ambulance ride to the ER because it was school policy. I was pleasantly surprised to find the ER waiting room had a big screen TV and chairs that folded out. Once we were in the ER each bed had a small TV and a volunteer came around with sack lunches for the people who were waiting with the sick patients. Very nice indeed.
  13. by   Balder_LPN
    Quote from Traumamama59
    Worst weirdest was a person that drank a cup of abrasive substance that wasn't supposed to be drank. Can't tell ya any more than that without violating HIPPA.
    Not a HIPAA violation if you dont include pt identifying information. I am curious what was drunk?

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