Funniest injury you have ever seen..... - page 5

I took care of a guy once who had an injury to the third toe and complete amputation of the fourth toe. When asked how this injury occurred......"I was using my twelve gauge shot gun to kill moles in... Read More

  1. by   RNin92
    Well, this being summer...

    There's always some yahoo who decides that the best way to get a bonfire started is with a little accelerant (AKA Gasoline)...and himself.

    Or the very brilliant chef who decides that the brats aren't cooking fast enough...and adds accelerant (AKA Gasoline) to the grill...and himself.

    And let's not forget the thrifty do-it-yourselfer-fireworks-maker!

    Of course NONE of these people become quite so brilliant until after the beer starts flowing.

    Oh, I almost forgot my favorite campfire story...
    Dad camping with the family...
    Few beers too many...
    Few brain cells missing...
    Small campfire...
    Nearby campers have a blazing fire...
    Yahoo dad wants his that way, too...
    (Are ya still with me?!!?)
    Adds accelerant (you guessed it)...
    Fire WAY beyond blazing...
    No water (go figure)
    Tries to put it out with the only liquid he can find...
    The beer...
    Oops.
    C'mon in my little friend...here's your sign.

    Ahhhhh...summer in the ER...the stories are infinite!!

  2. by   marzzs
    We had a guy come into casualty with a vibrator stuck in his rectum. When they couldn't remove it he came upto OR to have quick GA. When we removed it we found it was still buzzing!! As it turns out he was one of our nursing students!! Neddless to say we never saw him again.....
  3. by   Ruby Vee
    blazing fires, accelerant and etoh -- what a combo!

    reminds me of my honeymoon with my first husband. we were camping next to a river, and had a nice, romantic camp fire going. idiot first husband decided he wanted a big, roaring fire. (something equal to his perception of his manliness, i suppose.) there he stood with his can of charcoal starter . . . i saw him from across two campsites (i had gone to the outhouse) and shouted for him to stop. too late -- he was already squirting. :angryfire the line of fire followed the charcoal starter back to the can in his hands, and whoosh! he dropped the can an instant before it burst into flame, and there he stood, clothes blazing. i was already running toward him, tackled him and shoved him into the river where he nearly drowned because he was afraid of the water and had never learned to swim. after i dragged his sorry butt out of the river, his brand new jacket was in tatters and his eyebrows and mustache were singed as was his mass of hair (this was in the 70s). but miraculously, he wasn't burned. as long as we were together, he insisted that he had everything under control until i tried to drown him.
    Last edit by Ruby Vee on Jul 17, '04
  4. by   teeituptom
    Boys will be boys
  5. by   mrdoc2005
    Had a teen girl andher boyfriend come into the ER with a polish sausage stuck in her and when ever they tried to get it out it would just break off. The conversation at the desk was why they needed the sausage.
  6. by   Farkinott
    from experience.................

    You only ever chuck petrol on the fire once! :angryfire :angryfire :angryfire :angryfire :angryfire :imbar
  7. by   alyca
    A few years ago, my dad was up late on Christmas eve putting the final touches on some gifts from 'santa claus' for my 9-year-old sister. This involved using super glue to attach various things together. He was using an old bottle of super glue, and it was clogged, so he squeezed it a little to try to get the clog out, and ended up squirting it into his eyes! He instinctively reached up to wipe it out of his eyes and ended up with both eyes super glued shut and his fingers glued to his eyes. After a quick call to poison control, he headed over to the local ER, where they irrigated him with a ton of saline and eventually got his fingers free and his eyes opened. What a Christmas!
  8. by   ZAHMAN
    Sexual experiences in the ICU.
    I had a young lady with a cervical injury who was also hypersexual. Well, she rang her call light when her nurse was busy so I went into her room. I asked her what she needed, to my surprise she replied " I want you to F*$# me". With a straight face I replied, "Thats not appropriate". Being quick witted as she was she replied, "Your right, will you make love to me". I had no reply after that, just a good laugh.

    ZAHMAN
  9. by   JUSTYSMOM
    Quote from ZAHMAN
    Sexual experiences in the ICU.
    I had a young lady with a cervical injury who was also hypersexual. Well, she rang her call light when her nurse was busy so I went into her room. I asked her what she needed, to my surprise she replied " I want you to F*$# me". With a straight face I replied, "Thats not appropriate". Being quick witted as she was she replied, "Your right, will you make love to me". I had no reply after that, just a good laugh.

    ZAHMAN


    Was she good looking at least?
  10. by   teeituptom
    Quote from JUSTYSMOM


    Was she good looking at least?


    Who has time as your bolting for the door to get out of that room
  11. by   laughnsmile
    My patient's roommate in bed #2 was reeeaaaly loud and obnoxious... the type of patient who answers the questions bed #1's doc is asking bed #1 (when was your last BM? Oh he had a BIG one yesterday!!!) Anyways one day I just got the inkling to ask him exactly HOW his HUGE case of cellulitis came to be. (His BLE were red, cracked and oozing). He got very quiet and red and told me that, well, he has a hard time scratching his lower legs since his belly sticks out so far, and sometimes he just has to grab what's close and scratch them. He said one day he was in the bathroom sitting on the pot, and got that itchy feeling again, and you guessed it! First thing he grabbed was the toilet brush. AAahahahahAHAha!!! He must not have seen how hard I was laughing cause he continued to tell me he scratched them till they bled.
  12. by   Gompers
    Stupid, funny injury that happened to me the other day...

    Was using one of those hair remover creams on my legs, and decided to do my underarms as well. The bottle said, "Do not use on face" but otherwise said it was for the rest of the body. Well, I guess my underarms are pretty darn sensitive, because a minute into the treatment they started burning. I got the cream off as quickly as I could, but the damage was done. I chemically burned the top layer of skin off the middle of both pits. Let me tell you, a lovely place to have a painful burn it is not! Very embarrassing. :imbar
  13. by   herminasgirl
    We had a young man who arrived in the wee hours of the morning with his Senior class ring stuck on his penis. Even funnier was the fact that he passed by two larger EDs in his home town to drive thirty miles to our rural one!

    Another one I remember well was a gentleman who inserted a wire coathanger in himself through his rectum. Once inside it had more room to open up and less to come out. When I went into his room he told me he knew he would need surgery because he had done this before! The xray was amazing!

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