EnergizerHoney, you sound very,very, very familiar to what I am going through right now. I have not been diagnosed with Bipolar but I have been Diagnoses with Severe Generalized Anxiety that has unfortunately debilitated me. I have always loved my profession and have always said so without hesitation but these past 5 months have been torture... literally. It started in October out of absolutely nowhere. It blindsided me so much so that i cannot pinpoint a specific source...or trigger. I have since been approved for FMLA for 7 days a month but I cannot go to work. I have used the 7 days and much more. It started off where I would get panic attacks that would literally wake me up out of a dead sleep....the only thing that would calm me down is calling in to work and knowing I did not have to go in. My psychiatrist and I were able to work with medication and therapy enough for me to "get by" and report for duty. But because of this it just created more things at work with administration that I would have to continuously deal with every time I would go in to work. I would feel great about it because these issues were being addressed and dealt with, unfortunately everything just started to get more complex with it and its still ongoing with them, I'm still meeting with directors and the union. But here is where I am at now....I am back to where I cannot go to work....my panic attacks start the morning of the day before my shift and nothing helps except when I make that phone call to tell them I am not coming in. These attacks are not something I can work through because when they happen they effect me physically in such a way that I have to stop whatever I am doing. It starts with my chest starting to feel tight and get tighter, then I start getting the hypercapnia feeling where my face around my lips starts tingling along with my hands and feet and I can't grasps things because my hands are weak, while this is happening I am dizzy and extremely nauseated, I do end up vomiting but most of the time it is dry heaves because there is nothing in there to throw up. I also have this headache that will not go away. I always have it...it is like a pressure in my frontal lobe where my sinuses are but not the type of pressure/pain you get from sinus headaches. It fluxuates in intensity but is always present, When it is at my 10/10 I cannot do anything, I need to be in a quiet and dark place with my eyes closed and laying down. I have told my PCP and Psychiatrist about this...I go for an MRI next Tuesday. I am in the process of getting a new psychiatrist because the current one I feel is not helping me at all anymore. I take lyrica for anxiety along with lexapro for depression which I know are not helping because I cannot function like this. The worst part about it is I don't know what is causing it....I have been a nurse for 6 years and even when I was a new grad I never felt anything like this. I have started several new positions over those 6 years and never have felt this with the "new job" anxiety. And it kills me because I miss my patient's, I used to LOVE going to work, I LOVE being an RN. I hate the thought of my coworkers distrusting me or disliking me or being mad because I have been calling out and leaving them short staffed. Which causes even more anxiety. I feel trapped. But thank you so much for sharing because I am so glad to know I am not the only one who has these feelings. I wrote in a earlier post that I am happy for you that you have found things that work with you to help you cope, but after rereading the thread I realized I read someone's reply and mistook it for your reply, so I hope you have found things to help you cope and if you have then I am also happy that you have.