I dont know where else to turn.

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    in advanced I dont want nothing negative Ive got enough negativity in my life right now I dont want to hear oh this has nothing to do with nursing because you aint an aide no more... no it has everyhing to do with that because I dont want a bad reference that is going to hinder me the rest of my life.

    So I have posted about how I got fired from my first CNA job about a month ago for allegations of border line verbal abuse and breaking infection control. The first thing I know I didnt do and I will fight until Im blue in the face! I did my job I did my best with what I had if I was ever late I called to let them know I was on my way, if I was sick or couldnt come to work because of a family emergency I tried to find my own coverage Or I called in to let them know, and those things were far and few between. I NEVER EVER just decided to be a no call no show. I was told by a couple of nurses and aides that I did my job well they never had a problem and they liked working with me because stuff got done.

    On the other hand there were aides that always were late never called or they were always no call no show they didnt do there job and I hated coming in after them. yet they never got in trouble and I dont get talked to or wrote up I just get fired. I didnt even get told that Im being on suspension for three days and then three hours later I got my termination call.

    I was working every weekend also I had asked and pretty much got down on my knees to get off of every weekend and to get hours through the week nothing from the nursing home. any way I got a job as a cashier just to take a little bit of a break from being an aide then I relised I missed being and aide so I told them that I was looking for a second job because I wanted to go to school and I didnt feel that 7.25 an hour alone would provide that. so it was what ever they understood they said they were willing to work around my schedual. then they decided three weeks in to train me for the service desk I thought ok well more hours maybe I wont need a second job.

    I Talked to some of the other cashiers about my fears and they all understood most of us got along. any way, so today its the end of my shift and I take my drawer back with the assistant manager and the manager is sitting there and he just takes the drawer out of my hands and says " I have gotten alot of complaints about you and one from a customer that you have and attitude and that you are a negative force." " who me? I dont know what you are talking about I do my job the way it should be done" " well Im going to have to let you go"

    I have never been rude to a customer I was very inclined to learn fast and get started working. I did every thing they told me to I stocked shelfs I cleaned I helped the customers to the best of my abilities and I always said things like hi and have a nice day.

    however there was one day I was a little frustrated and I posted on facebook that I was a little irritated from my shft but it was what ever and I guess it got back to them some how, at least thats what one of my friends thinks and Im thinking ok im off the clock if I want to vent a little I think Im entitled to it I think Im entitle to get irritated at customers that are rude no matter how nice you are to them.

    I was told by a trusted friend that he went in to the store to see when he had to work again and he said it was like a funeral in there no one wanted to talk to each other after I got fired that they were all kind of mad about it too. I was also told by another friend that because of indiana being a right to work state they can fire you no matter what even if they dont personally like you or if they hear false rumors about you. now is that true?

    now I honestly feel that Im never going to get a job as an aide or even potentially a nurse after Im done with my education I dont know what to do or where to turn and I need some advice and this is the only place I could think of. Right now I dont really want to deal with people Im angry and a little depressed. I am thinking about going to see someone like a therapist or somthing to see if there is somthing I need to change. because I also think that I come on to strong sometimes and if I dont then Im just to shy and quiet its almost rude and insulting to people. plus I need to deal with my stress a little better. I was also thinking about tommarow calling up some of the hireing nurses/DONs to some of the places I applied to and see if I can sett up an appointment to explain my situation and to see if I can get an interview, Does that sound professional to show hey I screwed up but I need a job to show I can do better and right my wrongs?

    I hadnt even had this cashier job for a month yet. I had my aide job for 8months.
    Joe V likes this.
  2. 20 Comments so far...

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    From what I understand of right to work states, that is correct, but I am neither a US citizen or a lawyer, so take that for what its worth.

    I do not remember your previous thread, I might look for it in a minute, but the first thing that sprung to mind was this:

    If you have been fired from one job for "borderline verbal abuse" and from a second for being rude to a customer, is it possible that you don't realise you are being rude? I only ask because I myself sometimes say things that SEEM perfectly reasonable in my head, and it's only when I see the reactions that I realise I have said something either rude or outrageous. Also, I am shy and if I don't talk much, I might come across as arrogant or rude.

    Apart from that, I don't have much advice, but good luck. I'm sure eventually you will find another aide job, it just may take longer if you need to explain about previous jobs.
    duskyjewel, sapphire18, and mickey_RN like this.
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    sorry I was alittle off I wasnt rude to a customer I met to say that a customer over heard me telling one of the other cashiers somthing about this one customer that i had to fill out a meth watch form on and I said he looked to fit the discription of a meth head and and that I was a little freaked that this guy was going to jump me or somthing. and I guess the customer didnt like it and went and told the manager this. I know I could have said somthing different than meth head but I did know there was a customer near by to hear. sorry about that my mind was else where when I wrote the OP.

    but yeah you are possibly right about how what Im going to say may sound right to me but in all fairness it isnt. I have been told by some people that the tone my voice sounds like it has an attitude when Im streesed or even when I am depressed or that at times it sounds sarcastic and I cant help that I have tried changing it on many occasions and I have tried being perky or overly nice and smile non stop like a creep but It just didnt feel right and my face just hurts to much at the end of my shifts (lol). and when it comes to the negativity thing I think that my depression plays a roll in to it I know when the seasons change I get a little blue why I dont know Im currently not taking any medications but I am thinking about going to see my doctor or try light therapy. I have also decided that Im not working for the next two months Im just going to take it easy and try not to interact with people who arent family or friends as much and then when I go to get another job just tell them flat out everything and that I took a break went and got help because my depression played a roll in a lot of it and now Im ready to try again and I hope they give me a chance.
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    I've been working minimum wage jobs for a few years and one thing I have learned is to watch my back before I say something that can be taken as offensive. You'll most likely encounter all types of people, even ones who look like "meth heads," but it's best to hold your tongue.

    I'm very sorry about your situation and I think taking a couple of months off is a good idea. I deal with depression as well and it can be crippling sometimes. I have faith that you'll be able to get everything in order and find a new job that you like. For the record, my time with a counselor/therapist was well spent. A lot of times it helps to just have somebody listen to you.
    IdianaCNA1993 likes this.
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    Try working jobs that dont require people skills, see if you like it. Ive worked as a mechanic, framed houses, even worked as a factory rat where the only interaction I had was with a couple of illegal aliens who didnt speak english and my shop foreman who poked his head in a few times a shift. I liked doing rough carpentry, it was hard work for good pay, but as I get older the wear and tear becomes an issue, and it doesnt help the economy has dried up.

    Working as a CNA has been my first experience with the service industry, and it wasnt an easy transition and sometimes I do miss the satisfaction of building something or fixing something, but healthcare is the field Ive settled on and Ive become fairly good at my job, but its not for everyone. If your young, try something else. If you arent very good working with your hands, go to school if you can.
    interceptinglight likes this.
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    Like a couple other people have said, now that you've gotten some similar feedback from two different work environments, you should probably think about the impression you're giving. I've followed your posts, and I can tell that you're a good worker, but it seems like there are certain parts of nursing that are more natural for you than others. It sounds like you can keep up well with your workload and be thorough, but maybe interacting with certain kinds of people or being careful to keep your complaints to yourself are more challenging.

    If you like the healthcare industry but are becoming discouraged by incidents like this, maybe you should consider some alternative careers. There's stuff like surgical tech, medical records, medical lab technician, etc., that don't require as many serious "people skills" but still involve taking care of people and being thorough and all the stuff you seem to be good at.

    If you have your heart set on nursing, maybe take a couple months to reflect on some of the things that have gone wrong and honestly think about how you could do your part in improving those situations. Sometimes it's easy to not realize how what you say is going to affect someone else, so just really thinking through the feedback you've been given would be really helpful. I would even say that you could ask your prior managers and co-workers if they have some examples of these things, and what they would prefer you had done in those situations. Once you've thought it through, go looking for that next job and put what you've learned into practice. Watch the people you work with and how they interact with patients/residents. I feel like these approaches would help me in that situation (actually, they have - I am not the most social person, so learning to people-watch and respond in the way people seem to like has helped a lot with my confidence).

    Good luck!!
    VivaLasViejas likes this.
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    I have asked some of my former coworkers and told them to be honest I have asked if I was a negative force and they said no. I have asked if Im a good worker they say yes that they love working with me. I know at my last job people did the same things I did and never got in trouble and they are still working there. I myself think that one or two were just jelouse because I hadnt been there long enough and they were training me to do head cashier stuff so they thought ok Im going to complain about every little thing untill he gets fired because I feel threatend by him. and I didnt like the job as cashier as much because there were times it was borring and it was never consistant. I have been told my alot of my residents that I was polite and kind. but at my aide job they also fire the good ones just to set an example and it never really worked to change things. and to be honest I just dont think my managers liked me at my cashier job. I never said no to doing what they asked me to do. they never talked to me about it at the cashier possition too it was just I have to let you go no warning no nothing so that there just dont seem right to me. my aide job talked to me about somthing I might have done wrong but they made it a point to say this dosent mean you are in trouble we just want you to do your best sort of thing and I didnt get those often and I was never written up at my aide job.
    I myself feel that I need to get another aide job and just not make friends as fast and just do my job. and like Ive seen watch my back. Im just going to have to not gossip or cuss. and just do my job and be done do it with a smile and move on. most importantly learn to keep things to myself. and if that fails then I guess I will need to look into a different job or go see a doctor or somthing. I was also think ing that if I was to go on to get my LPN that after I worked for a while I was going to move out of state if this keeps up like move to a non right to work state or even out of the country to say canada. so with that being said I do my best and work hard and try to do a little better than those around me and I still get screwed so I think that there is just somthing people dont like about me and Im going to have to change it or move to a different area where it is ok.
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    I've been following this thread and your last thread somewhat and I have some criticism you're probably not going to like.

    From reading your last post, I'd say you have a victim mentality. You seem to think you're not doing anything wrong and all these people are out to get you. I assure you, not every coworker you have is complaining on you just to get you fired. Things like this tend to only happen in dramas, be they TV shows, movies, soap operas, or books. Sometimes we need to step back and take a look at the complaints that are being made about us. I have never once had a coworker complain that I wasn't pulling my weight, being rude, or anything of that nature. Why? Because I do my job and shut up about everyone else.

    Now, if you made it through that and are still reading, here's my advice. Go out and get another aide job. However, this time, don't get close to ANYONE. Not the residents, not your coworkers, and not management. Be personable, but don't think that you can complain to so-and-so because he/she seems to get you. I have coworkers that are going above and beyond to make me think they "get" me so that I will open up to them. Do you know how many of them I open up to? Not a single one. I don't trust these people. Healthcare, being a female dominated field, is gossip-central. (Everyone was thinking it, I just said it) Gossip quickly grows out of control. One day you got a little short with a resident, the next day you were cussing that resident up one side and down the other. Same with cashier duties. Trust me, I've been there.

    Things aren't going to improve just because you move to a different area, state, or country. If you don't take a deep, serious look at yourself, things will never improve. You can be fired for this behavior in every state. Just in some the employer has to be able to verbalize why this behavior is a problem.

    Now, you are more than welcome to report this post as abusive if that's what you want. I won't try to stop you. But you did come here looking for outside criticism and I gave you mine.
    duskyjewel, hgrimmett, fuzzywuzzy, and 3 others like this.
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    [QUOTE=rivershark2005;6972849]I've been following this thread and your last thread somewhat and I have some criticism you're probably not going to like.

    From reading your last post, I'd say you have a victim mentality. You seem to think you're not doing anything wrong and all these people are out to get you. I assure you, not every coworker you have is complaining on you just to get you fired. Things like this tend to only happen in dramas, be they TV shows, movies, soap operas, or books. Sometimes we need to step back and take a look at the complaints that are being made about us. I have never once had a coworker complain that I wasn't pulling my weight, being rude, or anything of that nature. Why? Because I do my job and shut up about everyone else.


    Now, if you made it through that and are still reading, here's my advice. Go out and get another aide job. However, this time, don't get close to ANYONE. Not the residents, not your coworkers, and not management. Be personable, but don't think that you can complain to so-and-so because he/she seems to get you. I have coworkers that are going above and beyond to make me think they "get" me so that I will open up to them. Do you know how many of them I open up to? Not a single one. I don't trust these people. Healthcare, being a female dominated field, is gossip-central. (Everyone was thinking it, I just said it) Gossip quickly grows out of control. One day you got a little short with a resident, the next day you were cussing that resident up one side and down the other. Same with cashier duties. Trust me, I've been there.

    .[/QUOTE

    I know that I do somthings wrong I admit that I hosnestly do maybe I wouldnt be in this situation if if I had a different personallty or somthing. as for all these people out to get me statment Its kind of hard not to think that when I have had people say it to my face saying things like "you suck" when alot of other people think different and "im going to do everything possible to get you fired". amd I have never gotten a complaint until I was in the seat of termination, no one has talked to me about it first or anything just oh well good bye when I know well enought other people get talked to first about things. I myself dont feel that I am playing victim rather than voiceing what has happened and how I feel about the situation. Ive screwed up somewhere along the way I just need someone to show me where and how so I can fix it so it dont happen again.

    and you are right I need to keep to myself at my next job. not open up to a single one of them. but to you have to understand I am an only child so for me I feel like I have to get close to everyone I come incontact with and be friends with everyone so I dont feel alone so it is going to be very hard for me to do any of that.I also dont like the feeling of being the outcast and to me its no way to work if you cant get to know your coworkers, I understand not to gossip and Im definatly going to watch my mouth.

    you also dont understand that my cashier job was nothing but drama like in a TV show. and my aid job was the same. one aide I worked with told me it was like high school at the aide job. at the cashier job the girl that was training me on my first day told me I wouldnt like it because it was to drama filled. I am by NO means a victim just somone stuck and I need a little help to get unstuck so it dont happen again. BECAUSE i AM WELL AWARE THAT I MUST BE DOING SOMTHING WRONG!!!! the gossipping and getting to close to soon to my coworkers and my at times potty mouth MOSTLIKELY is what I am doing wrong so I might as well not do any of those.

    as for moving out of the area and going to a place where there is a zero chance anyone knows me is so that I can start over. so there isnt any gossip from old coworkers between facilites and people that I went to school with. so that maybe my outlook can change and so that it maybe a little easier for me to change my ways or what ever the case may be.
  11. 0
    Okay, so you have actually had someone say, to your face, "I am going to do everything possible to get you fired"? Is that what you're telling me? If so, I understand where your hostility is coming from. But I have never heard someone actually SAY that to another person. I have seen it happen, ONE time, but the person doing the complaining never actually told the person they were complaining on. Oh, and btw, it backfired and got the complainer fired.

    As far as employers not talking to you about your problems before firing you, again, I find this kind of hard to believe. I mean, I know there are "90 day probationary periods" in which the employers try to see if you are the right fit for the position, and I have known many people that have been terminated during such a period, but I have never known an employer to fire someone with no warning. That seems uncouth to me.

    You say you "need somone to show [you] how to fix it so it [doesn't] happen again." This is not their job. Yes, you can ask where you went wrong, what you did that lead them to terminating you, but about 98% of the time you're not going to receive an answer. I have been in a managerial position before, and I know first hand that explaining, in depth, a termination can lead to such things as lawsuits, therefore most employers will leave you with a "no comment" answer rather than trying to explain their reasoning.

    Listen, I'm an only child, too, and I tend to open up to people quickly, because I am starving for the attention of my peer group. However, there is a time and place for this. I have ZERO friends at work. Not a single one I would ever say "Hey, let's hang out this Saturday" or "Hey, my kids are going to be here this weekend, bring your kids over and let's have a play date." What happens in my personal life is my business, not theirs. Every girl I work with that is in my age range is trying to "get to know me better." Even the married ones. But I refuse to let any of them have even a glimpse into my personal life. They don't know if I'm dating anyone, married, single, what. I have even heard (I have extremely good hearing) "Oh, he must be gay." Sorry, but no. I'm just not interested in YOU.

    As far as feeling like an outcast, it's better than letting everyone know your deepest, darkest secrets. I'm 30 years old. I feel like an outcast at work and at school. Generally speaking, I am the oldest person at both. But that doesn't mean that I am going to open up to everyone. On the contrary. Don't like working with me? Tough, we're on the same hall. Don't want to be my study partner? Oh well, I already know more about this subject than you ever will, and now you'll never get that peak inside my head. You can't care about being an outcast. You just can't. Just do your job, help when needed, but don't be everybody's buddy.

    Cashier jobs generally are nothing but drama. It's another female-dominated field, and entails all that comes with that. I'm not saying that this job is better than that job, or because this job is male-dominated, there's less drama. Believe me, men can be dramatic, too. But women tend to be more out there with it. They tend to go run their mouths to everyone, complaining about this or that. It could be something as stupid as "I don't like his/her haircut," but EVERYONE except the subject of the gossip is going to know. This gossip can often times lead to things getting back to management that aren't true. Again, this comes back to finding out what's going on. You aren't going to get answers from a past employer. You can give that one up. But NEXT time you're in that situation, you know to ask up front what has been said.

    You admit that you must be doing something wrong. This is the first step. Admitting you have a problem. Now you have to find out what your problem is. This is not going to be easy. But there will be some clues from your past that will give you a general direction to look in. Did your past employers say anything about use of foul language? You say you have a potty mouth. Try to curtail that. I cuss like a sailor. But I refuse to do it in front of my residents. Or my coworkers, for that matter. I may be saying "F'in this, POS that" in my head, but all that comes out of my mouth is "Yes, ma'am/sir, No ma'am/sir." Perhaps this is something I picked up from being a father. I don't like to cuss in front of my kids. They tend to repeat things at inopportune times.

    Now as far as moving to an area where no one knows you, now that I know why you want to do this, it makes more sense. This is my plan when I graduate nursing school. I will likely be moving to the nearest large (500k+) metro area, seeking employment at a very large hospital. Yes, I could get hired at my local hospital or LTCs in a heartbeat when I get out of nursing school, but I want to go out and make my own reputation, not live off the reputation of those that came before me. It will be a tough move, but it is something I feel is necessary. So if you feel this is necessary, by all means, go for it. I'd say 100 miles is minimum safe distance. But also be aware that no matter where you go, you are going to come across someone that knows you. When I was 21, I moved to the state capitol. I'll be damned if I didn't end up seeing six people from my graduating class the first day I was there.


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