So I'm feeling a bit down about my new job and worried I'm about to get fired. At first, I liked this job a lot and thought it was going to work out well. However, it seems like I keep messing up and I feel like a failure. Nothing related to resident care thankfully, for the most part I feel like I've been pretty good about keeping them clean, safe, and dry, and even going the extra mile for them, giving them a thorough bed bath and lotioning them from head to toe, making them up all pretty for the day, etc. No, the thing I keep messing up is the LAUNDRY. Both of my major mistakes so far have involved doing the laundry, it's starting to make me feel like there's something seriously wrong with me if I can't even get a simple thing like washing laundry right.
I'd posted about my previous mistake w/ the laundry before, but last night I made another careless one. I was doing the guy's laundry, and put the sweater he'd been wearing in with it and thought nothing of it. Later, after I'd gotten home from working all night, was exhausted and trying to get some sleep, my supervisor calls me up to yell at me. Apparently, the sweater I put in was made completely of wool and had gotten destroyed when I washed in hot water. I honestly didn't even know that hot water would destroy wool, and didn't even think of it. It may seem like common knowledge to some people, and like, I may do my own laundry at home, but the vast majority of my laundry is plain material with no wool or other special fabrics. So the guy's nice expensive sweater was completely ruined, and I felt *horrible* about it. The supervisor is upset and trying to decide what to do about it -- I don't know if that will involve taking disciplinary action against me, or what. I'm just worried sick now that they'll decide I'm more trouble than I'm worth if I keep screwing up the laundry, and let me go. Like, if they can't even trust me to do a simple thing like laundry correctly, how can they trust me to care for vulnerable people? I just don't know.
I keep beating myself up over every mistake I make. I feel devastated when I don't measure up to my expectations for myself. I always try to give every job my 110%, to be a model employee and go the extra mile to do a really outstanding job. For me, it's not enough just doing the bare minimum to get things done; I want to be more than that. And yet, it just feels like I'm constantly falling short no matter how hard I try. I just don't get it. I work my butt off and think that I've done a good job only to later find out there was one thing I missed or screwed up. I'm sure it also doesn't help that I suffer from clinical depression and am taking medication for it, albeit only for a month now (I've heard it sometimes takes longer to kick in.)