Every Mom, Dad, Sis, Uncle Believes They Know Better Than The Nurse...

[Joe V]

Every now and then we get someone who thinks they know better than NURSES. They read it on the Internet so they know what is best. They seen it on TV so they know what is best. Does this drive you crazy? How do you handle it? Please share your stories.

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[CrazierThanYou]

Depending on the situation, I am quite good at simply ignoring certain visitors.

[CountyRat]

So, I am the medical resource during a campout with my son’s Boy Scout troop. One of my jobs is to secure all medications, and provide them to the scout for whom they are prescribed at the prescriberd times. No big deal; until one of the adult leaders comes up to me in a rage, insisting that I give one of the kids his HS dose “now!” Her reason? “I have [fill in diagnosis here] and I have read everything there is to read about [diagnosis] and I know more than any doctor does about what he needs!” (No, this person was not family, and had only met the kid a couple of days before.)

“Well, maybe you do, but the licensing board in this state says otherwise. He will receive his medication on time, as prescribed by his physician.” I saw no reason to continue the conversation. Fortunately, the other adult leaders backed me up, but if they had not, the kid would still have received his meds as ordered. Yeah, I can be a real bastard. Sometimes that is my job, and I do my job very well.

Please feel free to flame me to your heart’s content.

[NurseNanci1]

I was that annoying nursing student but I was right! When my mom died I knew she had a stroke but the ER was all "I did a ct scan and ruled that out" I thought Bull all u ruled out was a bleed! I also asked about a chest X-ray for aspiration I was told it was done it wasn't ! The next day mri confirmed the stroke but swelling was too great at this point so my dad chose not to do any life saving measures also the chest X-ray wasn't done until the next day when she presented a fever .. And aspiration pneumonia was found. While I don't think family should disrespect medical staff .. It goes both ways sometimes families know the patient well enough to know their problem not necessarily an expert at the disease process itself but "Johnny's disease" is something they know and could offer valuable insight for the specific patient.

[NurseOnAMotorcycle, ASN, RN]

I just go in, say nothing, do what I have to do and leave. All questions are pointed to the MD. There's no explaining anything to those types. You will always be wrong.

[Taranolo]

I listen. We can't know everything as nurses and families often have valuable insight! If it sounds promising, I research peer reviewed studies.

[EilleenMadore]

Have you ever noticed that you get the "her daughter is a Nurse" or "her daughter is a Doctor" warning during report? Reading all he Nurses experience of having family members in hospital made me think of it. I'm the worst of them all lol.

[Tatteduprn]

That's terrible. Don't you take more pride in your work? What about being a patient advocate?! God forbid you were someone I cared about nurses.

[EilleenMadore]

Tatteduprn said:

That's terrible. Don't you take more pride in your work? What about being a patient advocate?! God forbid you were someone I cared about nurses.

Are you speaking me? LOL Ummm, I believe you don't understand what I meant. What I meant was I am your patient's family member who is a Nurse who will be your worst nightmare because my expectations and my standards are extremely high. And yes, that is what Nurses say to each other in report. I have no idea what your relationship is with your colleagues so I don't know what they say to you. I am THE patient advocate, thank you very much. How many times have you stopped a patient from going to surgery because it was unnecessary surgery? How many times have you stopped an admission of a pediatric patient to a hospital because they didn't even have the equipment to care for that patient and forced a transfer to a Children's Hospital? I could go on and on. I stand up for my patients regardless of the what happens to me. I am very proud to be a Nurse. I walk the walk baby.

[Jensmom7, BSN, RN]

EilleenMadore said:

Are you speaking me? LOL Ummm, I believe you don't understand what I meant. What I meant was I am your patient's family member who is a Nurse who will be your worst nightmare because my expectations and my standards are extremely high. And yes, that is what Nurses say to each other in report. I have no idea what your relationship is with your colleagues so I don't know what they say to you. I am THE patient advocate, thank you very much. How many times have you stopped a patient from going to surgery because it was unnecessary surgery? How many times have you stopped an admission of a pediatric patient to a hospital because they didn't even have the equipment to care for that patient and forced a transfer to a Children's Hospital? I could go on and on. I stand up for my patients regardless of the what happens to me. I am very proud to be a Nurse. I walk the walk baby.

And this is why the quote feature is so important.

I believe she was actually being indignant to midlifern, who deleted her comment.

[NurseyB]

I recently cared for an adorable Eastern European immigrant whose adult child was dumber than a box of rocks. A viral URI had led to acute respiratory and hemodynamic compromise, and a 9mm ascending AAA was discovered incidentally, for which the pt was not a surgical candidate. I was at the bedside pushing IV dig for her refractory rapid AFib while the palliative care docs were discussing code status. The patient's dgtr said "well on TV they make CPR sound like it's so lifesaving"...really?

[bradons]

Just ask them nicely to take the pt home with them if they are more educated then the healthcare professionals looking after the family member.

[NutmeggeRN, BSN]

My son was back at ER for 2nd degree burns proably at 18% by the rule of nines (he had been sent home 36 hours oreviously with Telfa and gauze) instead of to the burn unit.

I suggested he may need Adaptic and bacitracin. When triage nurse was giving report to MD, I was referred to as a sales rep for Adaptic....the MD took one look at his arm, ordered the Adaptic and after draining the blisters, dressed the burns and wrote the burn clinic referral. I had not identified myself as a nurse prior to meeting the MD.

I had not been home when the injury happened. He would have gone to the burn unit that night had I been there to advocate for him.