You Might Be A NICU Nurse If...

[NICUBSNME]

*You scrub your hands like a surgeon

*You measure age, not in years, but in weeks and adjusted weeks.

*You plan your day in 3 hour increments.

*You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if the phrase, "wow, it is really quiet" is uttered.

*You know that ‘Snuggle-up’ is an object, and is not referring to what you do with your boyfriend on the sofa.

*Finding poop in a diaper makes you cheer because you are obsessed with NEC and suspicious all your babies have it.

*You like to give glycerine suppositories out like candy- (for same reason above).

*You recognize that feeding tubes can be time-savers.

*You hear 4 or 5 different types of all-to-familiar beeping in your sleep.

*You recognize that taping is an art-form.

*You wonder why thermometers haven’t advanced with the times...

*The admission of a 28 week antepartum patient makes you antsy.

*You could describe poop about a dozen different ways…(eg. Meconium, transitional, green, yellow, yellow-seedy, brown…)

*The IV team won’t come to your unit… YOU are the master.

*You are a breastfeeding advocate but find yourself wanting to scream, “JUST GIVE THE KID A BOTTLE!”

*You measure weight in grams, and kilos

*You've ever heard, “The parents won’t be coming in today”, and been overcome with joy.

*You know that kangarooing has nothing to do with kangaroos.

*You’ve documented the amount of ‘jiggle’…Yeah, that’s medical jargon.

*You know that “Feeder-Grower” isn’t a description of a lawn care product.

*You’ve ever referred to a baby as a ‘glow worm’.

*You're sure you could write your own “crazy baby name” book using the names of your patients.

*You’ve ever cried at the discharge of a patient, because they felt more like family.

*You take pride in making up a “cute” bed for your patient.

*You’ve been in a critical situation, where the most highly qualified physician offered you the most advice, the least support…and illegible orders.

*You believe: if the baby is quiet, be scared.

*You’re patients don’t use a call bell when they need you- instead an orchestra of 3 or more alarms of different tones get your attention.

*You’ve witnessed a preemie escape mission…they made it as far as the portholes.

*You’ve ever wished for a restraining order to protect a baby from their idiot parents.

*You believe that to refuse a baby a pacifier is cruel and unusual punishment-for both the baby, and you.

*You refer to sweet-ease as ‘a shot of happiness’.

[preemieRNkate, RN]

I found myself reading this list and thinking in my head, "Oh that is so true!" I love it! Thank you for posting this, I am going to share this with my coworkers.

[Imafloat, BSN, RN]

This is all so true. Thanks for sharing.

[saali]

thanks...nice tips...i'm sure my teacher will like i she saw these on me because i'm not very good student nurse...

[jawh7b]

i love this little poem!!! fits us so well!

[hikernurse]

I love these :redbeathe I hope you don't mind if I add a couple...

Wanting to call for lifting help once the baby reaches 5 kg

Seeing a full-termer and wondering how in the heck something that huge could ever come out of a human being--although you had several babies that size yourself--and why anybody would even want to give birth to a toddler

Being able to call patients names that would be inappropriate in a different setting--"Hey, Mr. Stinkypants"

You've heard the MRI tech warn the new guy (with true panic in his voice) not to mess up the baby's bed

You take great pride in round heads

One look at a baby's facies and you've got an unofficial diagnosis

Enemas come in a 5 ml syringe--and there's room to spare

When you're floated to another floor you can't believe nurses flush PICC lines with 10 mls of NS--are they crazy? That much fluid to your patients would be given over 45 minutes and you'd be watching for s/s fluid overload

[beachmom]

You laugh when you get peed on.

All IV starts are done with two people, one to start it, one to hold the arm and do the taping.

Your patients never swear at you.

[hikernurse]

you laugh when you get peed on.

all iv starts are done with two people, one to start it, one to hold the arm and do the taping.

and the smaller the baby, the more people and strength it requires

your patients never swear at you.

there have been times they have given me the finger, however

[Michelle123]

I have a pic of my daughter (maybe 5 days old) where she is giving the finger :)