You know you've been a nurse for way too long when...

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...Somebody calls your friend an SOB and you start assessing his respiratory status.

ok. so that one's a joke, but everybody's gotta have one of those stories when, for example: I instant messaged my friend "you need to have some patients. Oh, uh, I mean patience!

so what's your story? :)

The DNR pick-up goes by and your first thought isn't "Department of Natural Resources"

Your husband cuts himself and you look for gloves!!!

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My MIL and SIL went to stay with my MIL's neice out of town during the RITA hurricane. My SIL's husband was to join them out there after he got off work, but got lost along the way. So my SIL and the neice decided to go find him, as he wasn't far. When my husband reported this to me, I stated "that's like taking an iron pill with two Tums".

*blank stare*

I had to them proceed to tell him that the combined IQ of his two relatives were antagonistic, resulting in a lower IQ... heh.. I guess you had to be there.. :rolleyes:

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You are standing in line at the grocery store and think to yourself about the guy ahead of you "Man, he would be an easy stick! Look at those veins!"

You walk into a restaurant and can spot a COPDer a mile away or start deciding the lady next to you with pitting edema in her ankles has CHF and you start assessing her and decide that she is lucky to be alive and probably has a cardiac output of 2l/min. You just pray she doesn't code while you are eating.

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The minute my friends and neighbors found out I was a nursing student, this started. I am a fifty-something mom of three and everyone assumes I already know something...That is a GREAT reply for me to practice in anticipation of being a nurse too long. This one made me laugh out loud! After my first day of clinical rotation in the ED as a senior "senior". it was just what I needed. Thanks!:roll

This happens to me all the time!!! I hadn't even started my first day of actual "nursing school" and they were already asking me questions! Now that I am 1 mo. into nursing school I tell them, "Well, I can make your bed, give you a bath, and assist you with mobility, and take your vitals, if that doesn't cover it, I don't know."

You know you're a beginning student too long when you look up all the meds that your family & friends are on and prepare for a conference about them!!

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When you answer the phone at home, 4th floor--B. Smith, RN, May I help you? and its your head nurse calling you, Ha, Ha!

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...you wake up from a dream in which you are at the end of your shift and haven't passed any medications... :) ...you analyze your dogs feces and adjust their diet accordingly... :o ...you go to work and diagnose that one particular coworker's personality disorder, or... you go to a concert and can spot your future alcohol detox patients from 50ft away.

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True story from last night at work. I know I've been a nurse too long because I had a patient tell me she did not become an alcoholic by drinking, but by being a bar tender for 15 years and just being around the stuff. That was a new one for every one I talked with. :rotfl:

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I fell out of bed one night because I thought I had fallen asleep at work and a code had started! I hear call lights and phones ringing in my head at night.

This is so sad--but about a year ago I was in the hospital where I work as a pt. I woke up in the middle of the night and I could hear the phone ringing in the hall. I started to get out of bed and I was thinking 'God, would someone pick up the frigging phone?' It took me a min. to realize I was at work but not working. Also, that same day I woke up from a nap and my roommate who was elderly was climbing out of bed. Her bed alarm went off and I started to get up, once again thinking that I was responsible for her care.

This is when you know you spend too much time at work!!

When you are shopping in Walmart or the grocery store and you hear the "beep...beep" before an over head announcement that sounds exactly like your code blue alarm bell at the hospital, and you stop your cart or tilt your head to listen for the "code blue announcement" to come, only to hear...... "clean up,.......isle 5" :chuckle
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