You be the judge

[Cmariehart]

Not really sure how to word this, so please stick with me, this is a little weird...

I work in a LTC and that was this little old lady that I used to take care of when I was a PCN. For the last 6 months I've done nothing but the med pass and once in a while I still would manage to spend some time with this lady.. She was funny and still "with it", she knew all of us and she was smarter than a whip!! She was also an RN!!!! She always told her family that I was her favorite... And she was by far my favorite resident. And her family was so awesome and cool.... You only wish everyones family was this cool....

Well on my last weekend off (2 weeks ago) I got a call @ home from one of the nurses that I worked with saying that my little RN has passed on.. Now this was very sudden (she hadn't been sick at all)

and all her kids had been on vacation..

I went to her wake a few days later- not knowing if I should, but I went and the family was really happy to see me and we talked and I met her grand kids and her friends and other family members.

Today I got a card in the mail from her family saying thank you for taking such wonderful care of their mom and there was a check for $150.00 in it.... I don't know what to do... I didn't say anything to anyone @ work and I didn't even tell the fiancee... It's just that I never expected anything like this... So now I'm shocked and don't know what to do help me.....

[SuesquatchRN, BSN, RN]

:)

Dear {Family of Deceased Resident},

Thank you so much for your kind gift.

I really appreciate your wanting to thank me for caring for {family member) in a tangible way, but I can't accept your lovely and generous gift for myself.

I hope you don't mind, but I have used it to make a donation to the {Resident's Activities Fund} in {family member's} name, where it will do a great deal of good and keep {family member's} memory alive.

I will miss {family member}. And thank you, again, for the sweet thoughts.

Sincerely,

[woody62, RN]

I have never kept money I have received. I have donated it to a charity. However, I did received a 14K gold bracelet, six months after the patient's discharge and after his death. I kept it, as did the other nurse who received one. We both informed administration who said it was our right to accept the gift in the spirit it was offered. The gift also came with a letter, in which the patient stated he had purchased the gift but had instructed it not be sent until after his death. He told me, in this manner I could not refuse it nor could the administration force me to return it.

Woody:balloons:

[CorgiMom]

I would suggest a look at the Code for Nurses. It is unethical and unprofessional to accept gifts from clients or their families. However, I agree with the poster who suggested the money be donated to the resident activity program and a thank you note be sent to the family describing that a donation was made. Everything we do as individual nurses has an impact on the image of nursing as a whole. I for one want nursing to be held in the highest regard in terms of ethics and integrity.

[MIA-RN]

so building on this conversation...what if the patient leaves you a monetary gift. Say they will it to you, or instruct family members to give it to you as a last wish sort of thing....do you keep it?

[Ms Kylee]

I get patients trying to feed me all of the time. One patient kept saving me stuff from her tray. Since I knew it would insult her to refuse it, I would take whatever she saved for me out of her room, walk it down to the pantry, put her name and room # on it, and stick it in the patient fridge. Then when she got hungry in the middle of a shift, I could honestly say "There is ________ food in the patient's fridge, would you like that?"