I've been lurking here for over a year and have read just about every thread having to do with anxiety, stress, etc., so please don't jump down my throat and link me to others. I know it's been discussed in depth but I'm hoping to get a few perspectives on my particular situation...
I'll try to make the background quick: got a worthless BA (just had fun in undergrad - not sure i regret it), ended up at a prestigious grad school (couldn't think of anything better to do), dropped out, worked random mindless jobs, put a good amount of thought/time in and ended up in BSN. I've basically got one semester left (that's if I pass this one). Have a history of depression, anxiety that I continue to deal with through meds/therapy. My passion is art. Number one reason for choosing nursing was practical (age, stability, income, family, etc.) though there are many aspects I enjoy. BA is in psych and am very interested in psych nursing (just so I don't get attacked with "If nursing isn't your passion, you shouldn't be in school. Not fair to patients, etc, etc..."). (OK, that wasn't a quick background - and now i've made it longer...succintness was never my forte)
ANYWAYS, my anxiety and depression continue to get the better of me, now maybe worse than ever. I know I'm not supposed to let anticipatory worry bother me so much but I've had a ridiculously difficult time the past few months, almost to the point of voluntary commitment. When I read about the immense inherent anxiety for new nurses (most claiming it will last anywhere from 6 months to 2 years, until you get comfortable), I just about want to vomit. At this point, I'm praying to make it through my program without losing it. The thought of starting work and dealing with the anxiety that even the most cool-headed new grads encounter is too much.
I keep telling myself that everyone goes through it but, given my history, I honestly don't see enduring intense anxiety in my career as a possibility. If I had known the extent to which my own psyche was going to affect me, I would most likely have opted against the BSN.
My experience with psych nursing has lead me to believe it's an area I may be able to not only survive (mentally), but excel in. As with most my rants, I'm not sure where I'm going with this other than to try to organize my thoughts and hope for some helpful insight.
Specializes in Infectious Disease, Neuro, Research.
Wellll, it isn't an unreasonable question. If your love is psych, you should already know the questions to be asking:
Is my desire (arousal bias) effecting my ability to make clear judgements?
Am I capable of developing and maintaining effective coping models through the 2-4 years of school?
I am married- I have responsibilities beyond self-gratification (regardless of how supportive one's spouse may be). Is my current job one where I would be able to transition into caregiving without major job-hunting?
I thoroughly enjoy psych; I have years of experience in med-surg. I despised my OB rotation, and Advanced Med Surg, because the instructors were more intersted in "re-formatting" NCLEX questions for their exams (read: "We don't offer rationales, we just tell you what the answer is supposed to be!") In short, highly stressful and thoroughly unenjoyable.
My point being, you will have to survive at least one area that you have 0 interest in the field of study to obtain that RN. It can certainly be done with diligence and hard work, but only you can assess your capability, in that respect, as it relates to the fluctuations of anxiety and depression.
I will add, as you've probably read- nursing jobs are not exactly in excess at the moment. You would probably have better psych opportunities in Cali than most of the rest of the country, but the state budget is still an "iffy" affair.
The first year or two of ANY career (not just nursing) is almost always very stressful. Whenever you are new to a job, you don't know what the heck you are doing, and this is stress provoking. The learning curve for some jobs is longer than others, but it's there for every career, so changing direction will not guarantee that you do not experience anxiety and stress during the early phases of your career.
Regardless of whether or not you end up being super nurse, do NOT bail this close to graduation. You've worked very hard thus far. Having your degree will mean something down the line, whether or not you go into nursing. Quitting at the 11th hour will just establish a pattern of having no finishing power, and that will be far more meaningful to future employers (and I suspect your own self esteem) than whether or not you actually use the BSN for bedside nursing.
That said, take care of yourself. Eat properly, get enough sleep, exercise, get therapy if possible to help you deal with your issues, take medication if appropriate, get off medication if it is exacerbating your problems, and keep the lines of communication open with your wife. Tell yourself "this, too shall pass" when things aren't going so well or are wearing on your nerves.
Just a question from a practical minded person, who is paying for this BA in psych, the grad school you dropped out of, and the nursing school you want to attend while you "passion" is (an unnamed) "art"?
Because if it's me, I think it's time to put some of the education you already have to work before you enter nursing school.
The OP has already stated that he is already currently in a BSN program and "basically" has only one semester remaining.
I've always been interested in psych, even before I ever had my own issues. But experiencing severe depression and anxiety has definitely played a large part in my continued interest. I've been treated by such amazing people who I can't believe care so much about complete strangers. I want to be able to do the same for others who are in a battle with their own mind.
I by no means want to take away from the hard work of psych nurses, but I too have viewed my psych clinicals as much less stressful than med/surg, ER, peds, etc. In my own (limited) experience, I have found that psych generally requires more patience and understanding and less task-oriented (read: hectically busy) nursing duties.
Make no mistake, Psych nursing can be very stressful at times. That said,talk with your personal treatment team.
They are in a good position to help you decide how to manage increased stress on the job if the issue arises.
This would most likely occur in most any job,not only nursing.
Your personal background gives you an advantage since you know how depression/anxiety feels for you,and how important it is to keep appointments,work with your treatment team, and have a good support system.
You will need to set boundaries with patients so you do not get over involved, a risk for anyone working in psych.
Please finish your studies. I agree with Mutt's wife, sometimes specialties can pick us and God has given many health professionals life experiences that point to a certain path or paths.
Keep us posted on your journey, have confidence and faith in yourself !
Just a question from a practical minded person, who is paying for this BA in psych, the grad school you dropped out of, and the nursing school you want to attend while you "passion" is (an unnamed) "art"?
Because if it's me, I think it's time to put some of the education you already have to work before you enter nursing school.
My first BA and grad school was almost entirely scholarship, with just a little bit of loans. NS is basically entirely loans. When it's all said and done, I'll owe about 30k. In case you haven't noticed, there's not much out there for someone with a liberal arts degree, let along psych (we are a dime a dozen). And, having dropped out of grad school, that education does me no good.
BTW, I'm purposely vague in my posts ("grad school", "art") as I know a dozen students from my school who post here and I prefer to keep some things private.
I haven't (and won't) read this thread but I'm sure there's one on there entitled "Nurses eat their young."
A great deal of my anxiety comes from clinical experiences where I've encountered far more cynical, moody, irritable nurses with superiority complexes than helpful, nurturing ones. We're students, JUST LIKE EVERY ONE OF YOU WERE.
If you can't be helpful on an online forum or, at the very least, IGNORE THREADS you're bored of, I can't imagine how helpful you are in person. Many of you seem to believe this site has answered 90% of questions and should basically become a stagnant encyclopedia of nursing knowledge as opposed to an interactive forum. How about we let those helpful nurses respond to threads like this (because they do exist - see page 1 of thread - and THEY'RE the reason I've pursued nursing) and you can be on your way.
in my honest opinion, I find nursing to be VERY stressful. I work on a really acute floor and it's taking a lot out of me right now. That said, I'm pretty new still...
The good thing is, there are a lot of areas of nursing. Maybe psych nursing could be a good fit for you. I've heard its stressful but in a different way. Or maybe you could get a part time job and see how you handle that to start.
Regardless of whether or not you end up being super nurse, do NOT bail this close to graduation. You've worked very hard thus far. Having your degree will mean something down the line, whether or not you go into nursing. Quitting at the 11th hour will just establish a pattern of having no finishing power, and that will be far more meaningful to future employers (and I suspect your own self esteem) than whether or not you actually use the BSN for bedside nursing.
I thought this was some great insight that I myself have put a lot of thought into in the past. With my pre-disposition towards depression, dropping out will almost certainly destroy my self esteem while finishing will do a world of good for it. And, thus far, I've only had to explain to potential employers 1 drop-out, which I don't see as a big deal. 2, however, (especially with one being the last semester) will surely create some hurdles.
Thanks all for your replies. I'm always amazed at the kindness of strangers, to take time out of your day to respond to someone in a random forum, especially one in a dark place. As with my depression, I have better days, and today is one of them. The day I posted was not. I'm seeing things more optimistically and clear-headed right now and currently feel getting through all of this is not only possible but inevitable. I just wanted to sincerely thank all of those that took anytime to respond to this, it means a lot to me.
Does your local psych facility have milieu therapy? They are usually psych majors and work on inpatient floors promoting a safe, positive environment. If you think nursing is too stressful, that is one option that is still psych based.
emtb2rn, BSN, RN, EMT-B
2,942 Posts
https://allnurses.com/general-nursing-discussion/if-i-see-634721.html
Seriously.