Why are RN-RN relations at work 'bad', but MD-RN ones okay?

ktwlpn, LPN · Jan 21, 2008

Hi everyone,
if the RN bags a physician or PA/NP [or vice versa] it's considered okay. THANKS!

This illustrates why this type of behavior is the topic of conversation-you make "bagging" a doc,PA or NP sound like it's a good thing....From what I've seen-not so much.

I believe that relationships in ANY work place are a bad idea but I realize it's tough to fight chemistry and hormones.I also think that this attraction towards people who are perceived to be in positions of power is a little wierd (docs,bartenders,rock drummers etc) Most of the time these people wouldn't get any play if they were checkers at the local Piggly Wiggly,you know? I don't understand that psycho social thingee-couldn't begin to explain it.As for your situation-you are moving.end of your story.

nursemoons14 · Jan 21, 2008

Hi everyone,
I'm an RN currently working alongside a wonderful co-worker, also an RN, in the same unit & presently on the same shift. We've been very discreet, but our manager saw us dance once at a company function over the holidays & automatically 'assumed' [lol] we're a couple, and it seems that [since she loves gossip] she spread that out there. Meantime she's been trying to get my gf to be interested in a couple of male residents that have come through our unit for rotations...
I notice that when RNs date at work, whether or not on the same unit, its generally poo-pooed by our side, but if the RN bags a physician or PA/NP [or vice versa] it's considered okay. [My manager, for all of her talk she gave my gf that 'workplace relationships are against the rules' recently, dated & married a plastic surgeon in our hospital in less than 1 yr.] I saw 2 threads from '07 where on one the nurses were in my position &/or there was some difference in power, both of which were taken negatively; and a second where a nurse wanted to ask out a physician, another a PA, and all the female nurses there were like 'go for yours'! Any ideas why this is? And what follow-up advice can you give me [us] on this matter? [We're actually planning on leaving the state we reside in, and move out West to CA or AZ so that I can pursue Oriental medicine & she can pursue the CRNA--and I don't expect to work ICU anymore, at least not the type I'm in now whereas she will, I probably will go back to the ER...] THANKS!

Well I will speak from experience when I say It won't work out lol. especially with the amount of women in nursing, I have noticed over the last couple years that he gossip is just out of hand. Its like highschool again sometimes. When I stared to date a fellow RN when i started the whole dept. would be asking me or her what was going on... next thing i heard we were living together, after a while it got too mch and I agree with anyone when they say work relationships don't work. I mean don't get me wrong I love working with all these women but ... they are crazy ahah. most of us guys just laugh at it. sitting in the lounge listening to all the gossip, then as soon as that RN leaves they talk about her its quite amazing to see.

climberrn · Jan 21, 2008

As a general rule workplace relationships are a no-no but that's pretty much only if it ends or ends badly. Since you are both planning on leaving I'd say keep up what you've been doing, keep it discreet and don't give anyone anything to gossip about.

As for me, I "bagged" my doc husband when he was a fellow and I was an RN in the PICU but he says he "bagged" me...all depends on your frame of reference. I think the main thing is keeping it out of work. One of the highest compliments I received was that people couldn't tell we were dating or engaged because we kept it that professional.

hikernurse · Jan 22, 2008

We actually have several married couples working as RNs on our unit--it works out really well. They usually work opposite schedules so one is home with children, but a couple without kids prefer working at the same time. I think it's pretty neat :redpinkhe.

nursemoons14 · Jan 22, 2008

We actually have several married couples working as RNs on our unit--it works out really well. They usually work opposite schedules so one is home with children, but a couple without kids prefer working at the same time. I think it's pretty neat :redpinkhe.

Ya I was also lucky in this situation, we denied it again and agian but when we finally broke up, we were on different lines so it worked out great

EMTastic · Feb 15, 2008

What comes from the peers is about prestige. It's just like a guy getting cheers from the bros for scoring a "hot chick". However, male doctors and female nurses alot of times do have complimentary personalities.

llg, PhD, RN · Feb 15, 2008

Workplace romances often result in problems that the management would rather not deal with -- regardless of who the individual people are.

If the 2 people are both employees of the organization, then the company can try to minimize those problems by discouraging those relations. That's why many employers have rules about romances between between within the same department, etc. -- or about hiring close family members within the same department, etc.

However, when 1 of the people is an employee (e.g. RN) and the other person is NOT an employee (e.g. physician), the hospital is less able to regulate their behavior. They are also reluctant to do so because they feel they need to "s*** up" to the physicians.

It's all about the politics ....