Why Do Nurses Eat Their Young?

More and more Nurses are getting involved and looking for solutions that will end the scourge that has persisted for so many years and tarnished the good work and dedication of all Nurses everywhere. Nurses Announcements Archive Article

Have you heard that phrase before? I graduated my Nursing Program way, way, back in 1955 and it was around even then. The perpetrator is usually a senior nurse with longevity but could be a new graduate bursting with new knowledge and techniques and anxious to give them a workout or it could be a Supervisor or someone with a higher or lower rank than the victim. Regardless who is creating the problem it is interesting that old cliche is still around in this the 21st Century.

I first encountered it when as an eighteen-year-old nursing student who had never been in a hospital had no idea what a hospital ward looked like. I was born at home, and my tonsils were removed on my Grandmother's kitchen table when I was five. That was way, way, way, back, in 1935. So imagine my surprise to learn the "Ward" my Mother talked about when she had my brothers and sister, was not a long hallway with beds on either side, as I had envisioned, but a long hallway with rooms on both sides and it even had a kitchen. Yes, I remember it well.

We spent the first three months of our training in the classroom learning the basics of bedside nursing-bed making, vital signs, bed baths, enemas, along with medical terminology, anatomy, and other basic preparations for our initiation to "The Ward". We never got further than the lobby of the Hospital and the Cafeteria until the end of those first three months. Finally, the day came with the notification our schedules were changed. Starting immediately, we would spend four hours in the classroom every morning and four hours on the Ward in the afternoon. After class, we reported to our assigned Ward and introduced ourselves to our R.N., Supervisor.

Miss G. was about four feet, ten inches, tall and weighed about ninety-eight pounds. She looked impressive in her starched, white uniform, white stockings, white, polished, shoes with clean, white, shoelaces, and perched on top of her head a starched, white, crinoline cap with a ruffled edge, with a black band around it. She wore her accessories with authority. Her school pin perfectly placed on her right chest, her nurses' watch with its black, leather band and her black, winged, glasses, which she wore at the end of her nose so she could look directly into your eyes when she spoke. She was a retired Army, Staff Sergeant, probably in her middle thirties, and Single. Yes, I remember her well.

It was the first day of my first four- hour shift. Everyone gathered in the kitchen while the R.N. Supervisor dished out the diets on to a tray, from a warming cart, which we took to the bedside. I was assigned to feed a very ill young man, hooked up to an I.V. and too ill to feed himself. My patient had a bowl of Pea Soup, a glass of water, a cup of hot tea, a packet of sugar, and a glass straw. This was my first patient and the first time I would feed someone. I was scared to death.

I rolled his bed up, placed a napkin on his chest, told him my name, what I was about to do and asked him if he was comfortable. He nodded his head. I placed the glass straw into the bowl of pea soup and brought it to his lips. He was too weak to draw the soup up through the straw so I told him I would get a spoon and I would be right back.

Once in the hallway, I forgot which way to the kitchen. I started back toward the Nurse's Station and ran into Miss G. "Where do you think you're going?" she said. "I'm looking for the kitchen," I said. "You mean to tell me you've been here an hour and a half and you don't know where the kitchen is?" I looked at her with total surprise. "Yes.", I replied. She gave me directions and I was on my way.

There were lots of cupboards and drawers in the kitchen and I had no idea where they hid the tableware. I started opening drawers when I heard a sound behind me. Miss G. was standing in the doorway watching me. "Can you tell me where they keep the spoons?" I asked. "Don't they teach you anything in that classroom? You were just in this kitchen. You don't remember where the spoons are. What kind of nurse do you think you will be if you can't remember from fifteen minutes ago?" That was my intro to Miss G. and it was just the beginning. I finally got back to my patient but by that time, the soup was cold. I went back to the kitchen to get some warm soup. I'll give you three guesses who was there and what happened next. The first two don't count.

That was fifty-four years ago. Do nurses still eat their young? Yes, they do and there is plenty of evidence to support its existence right here on the internet. Just go to any Nurse Blog or Forum and you will find page after page of comments from nurses, young and old, male and female, R.N.'s, L.P.N.'s, C.N.A's, all venting their frustrations about the treatment they endure from NURSES WHO EAT THEIR YOUNG. Why do they do it? They do it because they can.

Fortunately, there is hope for the future. Due to Nursing Forums like this one, more and more Nurses are getting involved and looking for solutions that will end the scourge that has persisted for so many years and tarnished the good work and dedication of Nurses everywhere. Now if only someone would start teaching "How to build a team" or "Teamwork is the answer" that would be a place to start.

Specializes in ER/ MEDICAL ICU / CCU/OB-GYN /CORRECTION.

My Miss G was a nun. A huge woman who was head nurse and instructor when students were on her ward. She had a dual mission -bound and determined to make me a nurse and a Roman Catholic. Her first question to me over those glasses was a - are you a Roman Catholic man? I remember my stomach as I could not find the voice to answer her but finally did with 'NO MAME' with my eyes downcast.

Her response, I will never forget was loud and commanding like the voice of G*d Himself "THAT IS SISTER MARY REDEMPTA TO YOU" Well the good sister got half of her mission accomplished.

Yes they were pretty tough and rough in those days but the care was outstanding. I became critically ill in clinical rotation - guess who was at my bedside at 2am doing special private duty when I woke up from a morphine fog and drenched with sweat?

I thought it was an angel at first till I heard "that voice" booming as ever asking if I wanted a drink or was in pain ?I was very ill with a renal cyst infection and fevers. I then recall her wiping my forehead, ever so gently like a mother with a child,with a cold cloths and praying the beads as I drifted back to sleep. Yet she still taught clinical the next day after being by my bedside all night.

Sadly less than what is reflective in the attitudes and results that I have come across in this advanced generation. Gee I am sounding old here - lol. What I do miss is the respect that was back then but then again do not miss the cost that sometimes went with it.

Great article thank you much.

Marc

PS -- thank you Sister Mary Redempta and yes I know where you are and perhaps I should be saying Saint Sister Mary Redempta.

Specializes in Acute Care Hosp, Nursing Home, Clinics.

Thank you for sharing. Unfortunately Respect has left the building in many areas of our culture today. It is the foundation for trust and without it anything goes. It's time to restore Respect and Trust into our own circle of influence what ever that might be. I believe respect must be earned and just because you have a title does not mean you have a license to abuse or harrasse anyone. Nursing is a unique profession mostly because the people who choose it as a life's work are largely motivated by a desire to make a difference. We need to catch someone making a difference and recognize their effort in a positive way. That sets the stage for when it's time to offer constructive critizism.

I agree with Heron. I qualified in 1994, under the old hospital-based training. I disagree with the more univercity/college-based courses today.

But I guess I think the crux of it would be: I was so scared of my colleagues and peers when I was just starting out. And those young nurses I see today seem to have a know-it-all attitude and nobody tells them off at all!

It sounds wrong I guess but the lack of respect really annoys me. But it isn't going to change anytime soon.

And I'm 37 so here's to decades more!

Your introduction to nursing sounds rather similar to mine timetoshine. It was very much sink or swim, be seen and not heard, and almost like a military boot camp in many ways. And yet..... those 'old dragons', as we called them, had a wealth of knowledge and experience, and most of them were very compassionate under that starched exterior. They were charged with turning a bunch of young girls (we were mostly girls in those days) hardly out of high school into responsible and proficient nurses.

Like Silentfades says, the care was outstanding and, by god, if something wasn't done well enough to meet the exceedingly high standards of the 'dragon', we were made to do it again. And again, and again, if necessary. We learnt it was necessary to aim for perfection in all areas at all times. No excuses, ever. It wasn't about our 'learning experience' or our feelings or our needs, it was all about the patient. We were regularly reminded of our shortcomings and we learnt to take criticism, there was no other option. And criticism was what we mostly got, but if we did happen to be thrown a crumb of praise, well, we knew we had done very well indeed.

Do I think it should be like this today? Well no, the world has changed. But I do think we have lost something.

Specializes in Acute Care Hosp, Nursing Home, Clinics.

We lost respect. Respect for each other. Respect for our Patients. Respect for our Parents. Respect for the Police, the teachers, our Pastors, Priests,and Rabbi's. We have lost respect for our Grandparents, the Elderly, our Politicians and our Leaders in every phase of our society. We have replaced respect with political correctnessand "I gotcha" syndrome. We have lost the joy of winning through hard work and dogged determination. But there is hope. I don't find many "Poor, Pitiful, Pearl's whinning about how they work so hard and no one appreciates them. The complaints I've read are real. The majority of Posts are from real victims of abuse and harassment. It is my hope that Forums such as this will open a window of opportunity to start a movement to help us find our way back. One thing is for sure. This Forum has brought together so many people with the same problem it can no longer be ignored. People who post here have been validated. They are not alone. They are just one in a large group of people trying to cope and make sense of it all.

This kind of behavior really burns me up. Honestly, my main problem is that it wastes time. Instead of asking me dumb questions, why don't you just tell me what I want to know and go do your job? Also, it makes people think that it is the right way to act, so those harassed new nurses become the veteran abusers one day. When are we going to stop the cycle? When we stop feeling insecure in our jobs and decide that we are on the same side.

Specializes in Acute Care Hosp, Nursing Home, Clinics.

That is the beauty of the Team Concept. When the focus is on providing excellent patient care, everyone knows what needs to be done by whom and when. There a many levels to building an efficient, functioning team. It is more than someone being in Charge and telling others what to do. It an mutual understanding of what needs to be done and how it will be accomplished. It is a plan, a blueprint of how the shift is going to go. No more hanging around the Nurse's Station. No more "That's not my patient" or "That's not my job". No more asking silly questions. No more Clicks. No more gossip. No more "Poor, Pitiful Pearls" who complain "That Nurse is so mean". No more tolerance for inappropriate behavior or language or excuses. Excessive absenteesm or tardyness is not tolerated. Adherence to dress code is not optional. People are respected for their experience and knowledge and their ability to be compassionate but fair in their decision making. Sounds like a Fairy Tale? All I can tell you once it is accepted as the standard of operation it works. It starts by raising the bar of expectations. It starts with you having the courage to expect to be treated as a professional.

The best way to get back at someone is to exceed them. Lets say a person is giving you a hard time and you hate it. Work hard and eventually get promoted to manager/supervisor. When that person screws up slightly give them hell, remind them that their livelyhood is now determined by your choices and that you remember how you were treated by a certain someone. Sure its petty but this time you are in the position of power.

Specializes in Acute Care Hosp, Nursing Home, Clinics.

and you perpetuate the problem. It may feel good but it loses focus on Patient care. You could try catching them doing something well and recognize them for it. Lead by example not out of vengenace. You could try to break the cycle of "I Gotcha" which is so prevelant today

Specializes in ER/Nuero/PHN/LTC/Skilled/Alzheimer's.

I have to say, as a former nursing student, staff nurse, charge nurse, and sometimes preceptor, I have seen nurses eat not only their young, but their co-workers and even their supervisors at times. It seems like there are just some people out there too burned out, too bitter, too cynical, and too mean to be bothered with passing on nursing skills. I've had the misfortune of being on the bad side of some pretty nasty charge nurses and when the situation went beyond what I could control, had no back up from managment. It sucks, its depressing, and demeaning, and a liability to patient care. We all have bad days, but as nurses we have to be aware that our bad days can literally kill someone. Managers need to step away from nepatism and realize that their "friends" are not friends at work, they need to be held accountable. Staff nurses need to support new nurses or new-to them nurses, don't expect everyone to catch on at the same rate. Student nurses need to speak out and make instructors aware of the problems they are facing. Just because there is an agreement with the school and hospital doesn't mean the same nurses have to precept. One of the healthcare systems I worked for had a special class specifically for precepting, so that nurses could be trained to precept, instead of just handed a full pt load and a student nurse. Student nurses need to also study their roles for the specific clinical they are participating in. If you are going to be precepting on a peds floor, read up on childhood illnesses, normal vital signs for children, immunization schedules, etc. Same with cardiac and other specialities. Don't let the clinical experience be the only experience. Do research specific to your preceptorship.

Sorry for the longwindedness but this is one of my pet peeves and something I hope none of the students I precepted with ever experienced with me. I want student nurses and new nurses and new to my floor nurses to learn productively. They may be taking care of me or my family someday.

Specializes in CVICU, Obs/Gyn, Derm, NICU.
The best way to get back at someone is to exceed them. Lets say a person is giving you a hard time and you hate it. Work hard and eventually get promoted to manager/supervisor. When that person screws up slightly give them hell, remind them that their livelyhood is now determined by your choices and that you remember how you were treated by a certain someone. Sure its petty but this time you are in the position of power.

If everyone did this - work would be a very awful place indeed.

And what if the initial experience of 'hard time' wasn't bullying ..... the newby misinterpreted ?

Maybe they were just rude ? or having a bad day? or just an ignorant person?

None of that is good .... but 'pay back' behaviour is bully-like and just as bad as the initial behaviour (if not worse)

I have to say, as a former nursing student, staff nurse, charge nurse, and sometimes preceptor, I have seen nurses eat not only their young, but their co-workers and even their supervisors at times. It seems like there are just some people out there too burned out, too bitter, too cynical, and too mean to be bothered with passing on nursing skills. I've had the misfortune of being on the bad side of some pretty nasty charge nurses and when the situation went beyond what I could control, had no back up from managment. It sucks, its depressing, and demeaning, and a liability to patient care. We all have bad days, but as nurses we have to be aware that our bad days can literally kill someone. Managers need to step away from nepatism and realize that their "friends" are not friends at work, they need to be held accountable. Staff nurses need to support new nurses or new-to them nurses, don't expect everyone to catch on at the same rate. Student nurses need to speak out and make instructors aware of the problems they are facing. Just because there is an agreement with the school and hospital doesn't mean the same nurses have to precept. One of the healthcare systems I worked for had a special class specifically for precepting, so that nurses could be trained to precept, instead of just handed a full pt load and a student nurse. Student nurses need to also study their roles for the specific clinical they are participating in. If you are going to be precepting on a peds floor, read up on childhood illnesses, normal vital signs for children, immunization schedules, etc. Same with cardiac and other specialities. Don't let the clinical experience be the only experience. Do research specific to your preceptorship.

Sorry for the longwindedness but this is one of my pet peeves and something I hope none of the students I precepted with ever experienced with me. I want student nurses and new nurses and new to my floor nurses to learn productively. They may be taking care of me or my family someday.

This is excellent advice for everyone. As a preceptor, be supportive and as a student, be prepared. Honestly, I can't stand how student nurses come onto the unit without knowing anything and expecting a busy nurse to answer every little question or hold their hands throughout the day