Why are you choosing to be sad? Hi, it's me. I'm the problem, it's me! Taylor Swift sang it right. I've spent most of my adult life as a worried, overwhelmed, sad mess. It was all I knew. In my defense, there were reasons to be this person, or so I thought. I justified my sadness by blaming past events that all but broke me. Then one day, my significant other asked me, "Why are you choosing to be sad? When you feel that way, you have to force yourself to do something else.” I remember thinking, that's impossible. Sadness is not a choice. It's just who I am. Too much has happened and there's been too much pain to be anything but. My go to for bad days has always been... bubble baths, sad songs, and tears. One, all too familiar, sad day, I went to the bathroom to sulk in my sadness, when I remembered what my boyfriend said. At this moment, I was mad. I was determined to prove him wrong. Sadness isn't a choice and I can't change it just because he wants me to. I grabbed my phone and switched from my current "heartbroken" playlist to the Trolls soundtrack. My bonus baby loves the movie, so I know the music is upbeat and NOT... SAD. The lyrics in the first song said "do the dance.” So, I did the dance or a dance. I moved my body. I felt anything but happy. However, at some point during my solo performance, I realized I was smiling, then singing, and then laughing. Aw, shoot!! He was right. At first, choosing to do the opposite of what your mind is telling you will be hard. It will take practice. Then, eventually it becomes a habit, and then a lifestyle. You'll still have sad days. The difference is that now, you have the control. Your mind follows your lead. Something magical happens when your mind realizes you are not giving in today. Today, you are fighting. Don't cry in the bathtub, dance in the shower. Don't choose sadness, choose joy. Most of all, love the people that are the light in your darkness. Be consistent. Be strong. Be happy.