Who do you manage when you're burnt out at work and who do yout vent to?

[Hellostudentnurssee]

I am an LPN, looking to get back into an LPN-RN program. I 'm currently working at a very big hospital on my dream unit (med-surg telemetry) as a tech and I feel soo grateful to be here. No disrespect to the other units because we are a busy hospital but we are known to be the 2nd busiest, as ICU is next door to us. I'm gaining great experience but most importantly, I feel like I'm able to learn more people skills, which I feel is very important. I also see the nurses prioritize and I learn alot from them. I'm always willing to help out and having an idea on the other end of the spectrum, I help the nurses out with little things as possible, when they're very busy. I'm lucky to be working with GREAT nurses in which we share great teamwork and comradery; there a few exceptions - of course, where not every work situation is perfect. There is this one charge nurse now and then who looks down on me because I'm a tech. I've accepted that you find this wherever you go because there are people like this. It's personal to me because it's more belittling me because i'm "little"...physically. I'm not petitite, just short and I do look very young for my age (natural baby face) despite putting age apporpiate makeup that makes me look my age. She's got kind of a tall, bully personality who seems to benefit that I'm a "little girl" - yes she called me that. One day, I said sternly, "no, i'm not a little girl." and since then, she's been passive-agressive. Almost like, "how dare this tech talk to me? I'm a nurse." I just avoid her and talk with her only when I need to work with her.

It's been a tough few nights for me. I work 12 hour night shifts and within the past month we have this admit who calls...ALL. THE. TIME. FOR. LITTLE. THINGS. I had him last week, last night, and tonight. I am very burnt out. The one time I'm not there answeing his call light (I was on break) and she asked around where I was because she was upset, she had to answer it. Of course that agrivated me. Obviously, I would be there if I wasn't busy or not on break. The charge nurse thing is slightly annoying and that patient...at this point, I feel so detached. I ran out of "annoyed" feelings. I feel like crying NOT because I'm giving up but because I'm so tired.

Again, I'm so lucky to have my co-workers. If it's one thing about working with females, we hear each other out and receive great empathy...and it does empower us in a weird way haha My boyfriend tries to be supportive but doesn't get it..and if anything it makes me more upset. For example - i told him we had 5 bed alarms on the unit and I've been running around alot. He says, "Honey, don't run. Brisk walk." HELLO!! Bed alarms are put on those who are on fall risk or have some confusion - it's emergent...it's for their safety. He doesn't understand this charge nurse situation either. Well one - he's a male and two - he's not in the business. He's an engineer and he's more focused on precise measurements and tests... so hard to see each other eye to eye. OH! And he does that "false reassurance" thing, which I learned in my communication class is the worst thing you can tell someone in healthcare, "oh you're okay. You're fine." He just doesn't get it and it hurts me he doesn't... who do you vent to?

[iluvivt, BSN, RN]

You need to know that a lot of men are not going to emotionally support you in the way you think they should or like another women would! Men show their caring and support by "doing". They may run a bath for you,offer to cook dinner, fix the drywall, fill the tank with gas, change the air filter and generally try to "fix things". They are doers and fixers. Do not let yourself think for one minute that those are NOT acts of love or caring or support because they most certainly are! He was trying to fix your problem by reminding you that you managed and that you are indeed OK. You need to actually need to make a mental note of all the things he does for you of this nature and then you will open your eyes and see how much he really cares or does not,whatever the case may be. Men are really simple compared to women... feed him good food,give him good sex,keep him comfortable and make sure you do not neglect him,appreciate and love him. They will jump through fire for you if you do these very simple things. Get all the other long drawn out verbal support from other women!

[HouTx, BSN, MSN, EdD]

Ah yes - Mars vs Venus. You (Venus) only want someone to listen and try to understand what you're going through.. He (Mars) want to fix your problem. It's always been a wonder to me how we can share the same species and still be so different. Don't be too hard on him. He's trying to be supportive in the only way he knows how. It's always a disappointment when someone fails to meet our expectations... but maybe our expectations were unrealistic, huh?

The nurses I know (including myself) who are most satisfied with their careers are those who have multiple areas of fulfillment - nursing is not our 'everything'. We have a lot of other things in our lives that provide positive feedback and feelings of self-worth... hobbies, friends, group activities, etc. Don't let work be your "all". It should always be secondary to your real life.