Which way to go-advice please

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Specializes in SICU.

Hey all,

Looking for some advice, what would you recommend, etc. I'll try to make this as short and to the point as possible.

I've been a nurse for 3 years now, RN, BSN, all employed in SICU. We get pulled to all floors with the exception of OB, if needed; mostly hours are in Neuro ICU, Surgical ICU, Medical ICU and PCU. I've had the opportunity to be a part of many amazing moments. I love the gtts, and discharging a post-op complex open heart patient after caring for them from immediate end surgery weeks prior...and then came the but. Although I like being a part of this level of care, I don't love it anymore. It gave me tough skin and so much knowledge that I will forever be thankful for. I also have some amazing, supportive coworkers. However, there are some huge negatives. I need your help with the grass isn't always greener disease I'm fighting.

The one place we don't float to and the only other unit we don't have at my hospital are where I've always wanted to be. Nice. I got into nursing due to my grandmother and a passion for oncology (I worked as an aide there for 2 years). Nursing school showed me the Neonatal ICU and I fell in love. I shadowed in OB and my heart strings were tugged. I had my son and I just knew....I want to be with him, and when I can't, I better be where my passion is because that is the only thing worth leaving him for hours at a time for.

I researched and exhausted myself with what now's. I found that I would fit so well in mother\baby. Problem: no units within a 40 mile radius. Closest is so hard to get into and an hour drive on the freeway. Can't relocate due to husband's job. Note: I now work casual, once a week around his schedule. So,

Do I suck it up at the job I only tolerate, that is becoming so toxic, I loathe going to? Should I apply to my OB unit that has a few openings, both part time and casual, to get closer to my dream? (This will be a 50 min drive bc it's at our other location; my hospital is 10 min away with no openings). I live in a harsh climate, and worry about winters. Or...there is an opening at a nearby health clinic in breastfeeding. Doesn't pay much, but I can work towards my IBCLC; another career I've always wanted and would look great on future resume. The NICU nearby only has openings twice a year, at most.

Biggest complication is that I do not want to work full time for a few years. Had a long discussion with my husband, and we agreed this is what's best with what we are working with. I can manage full time for orientation, but not longer.

Sorry I bored you. Thoughts? Thank you!

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Specializes in Emergency Medicine.

I think getting into one of those units with no experience part time is a low probability. I would start out in a clinic and get some experience in that area and see where that path leads you- you could make great contacts for networking and eventually getting into the hospital you desire.

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Specializes in SICU.

Thank you for taking the time to respond. I really appreciate your opinion! :)

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I'd also go with the breastfeeding clinic job - probably easier to get into with no relevant experience than OB in the hospital, and closer to your home which gives you more time with your family. Is the clinic job full or part time?

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Specializes in SICU.

Thank you for your reply. It is part time, luckily, although I don't know the particular working hours yet. I would be making less than half per hour than I do now, but no pain, no gain right?

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Specializes in Clinical Research, Outpt Women's Health.

What would allow you to enjoy your life and family the most and still pay the mortgage and save a little?

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Specializes in SICU.

Thank you crunch. That's the best way to look at it. I guess it never hurts to apply and really understand my options, and make a decision from there.í ½í¸Š

A worry of mine is to be given an offer, reject it now and that will make me look bad later if I were to decide it's where I want to be down the road....like I didn't want it bad enough.

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Specializes in SICU.

An added question: why is being adult so hard? Ha-ha. In all seriousness, how do you make life changing choices? My husband hates his job. A change in his health caused him to leave his dream job. He now makes a good living but I believe he is bored, plus he works swing shift. 12 hr shifts, night and day every week. It's hard on him. We always said that I would stay home with the babies until they went to school, and I would return to the workforce full-time at that point. My own dream. But how can I have mine when he can't? I'm trying to do what's best for the whole family. I don't want to have regrets, life is to short for that.

I can sacrifice my home time now and work towards my end goal, and let my husband ease up on his responsibilities. I can chug away as we are now, because I only suffer from my job about 6x a month, and keep at it for 3+ years, but he's still unhappy. I so worry I will screw things up. My husband says do what makes me happy, but I don't think it's fair for him. I know I want to be home as much as I can now. I know I would regret it if I don't. Hence why I feel a part time job may be a good compromise. Maybe. Maybe for a year. Work towards my IBCLC. But if I were to quit from the hospital, am I screwing myself when I want to return in another role in a few years? Would they even want me as a lactation consultant without OB experience, will the clinic be enough since it's not a RN role? Should I keep my casual job anyway, it's a rough commitment they require.

Thank you to all those who have left kind words of wisdom!

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Specializes in Emergency Medicine.
An added question: why is being adult so hard? Ha-ha. In all seriousness, how do you make life changing choices? My husband hates his job. A change in his health caused him to leave his dream job. He now makes a good living but I believe he is bored, plus he works swing shift. 12 hr shifts, night and day every week. It's hard on him. We always said that I would stay home with the babies until they went to school, and I would return to the workforce full-time at that point. My own dream. But how can I have mine when he can't? I'm trying to do what's best for the whole family. I don't want to have regrets, life is to short for that.

I can sacrifice my home time now and work towards my end goal, and let my husband ease up on his responsibilities. I can chug away as we are now, because I only suffer from my job about 6x a month, and keep at it for 3+ years, but he's still unhappy. I so worry I will screw things up. My husband says do what makes me happy, but I don't think it's fair for him. I know I want to be home as much as I can now. I know I would regret it if I don't. Hence why I feel a part time job may be a good compromise. Maybe. Maybe for a year. Work towards my IBCLC. But if I were to quit from the hospital, am I screwing myself when I want to return in another role in a few years? Would they even want me as a lactation consultant without OB experience, will the clinic be enough since it's not a RN role? Should I keep my casual job anyway, it's a rough commitment they require.

Thank you to all those who have left kind words of wisdom!

I would never take a role in a non RN position if being an RN is something I wish to continue in the future.

I believe in the 50/50 split in a marriage- find a way to satisfy the needs of both involved- if one is happy over another it will eventually cause problems.

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Specializes in SICU.

Thank you for your insight. It is very helpful. :) I agree completely with 50\50 as well.

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Specializes in Critical Care, Education.

You hit the nail on the head. Adulting is very hard..... some of us try to put it off as long as possible.

Just an off-the-wall suggestion. Have you discussed your situation with your manager or anyone in HR? Competent ICU nurses are very valuable, especially those such as yourself that can work in multiple different ICU areas. They don't want to lose you. They may be able to offer you some alternatives you aren't aware of.

Rotating 12 hour shifts is very hard & can lead to health issues... anything you can do to lower your hubs' stress is advisable at this point if you want to make sure he makes it to your Golden Anniversary.

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Specializes in SICU.

Thank you HouTx,

I thought of discussing this with my manager; I just worried that she would see me as someone who doesn't care for the position enough, and would approve others requested shifts over mine, but that's just silly. Although we have requirements for shifts per month, she allows some nurses to pick up one shift every couple months. We all have our hearts set on something and she has been great so far with them. I think I will bring my wishes to her attention, as well as someone in HR I've worked with as a student. Great suggestion. Do you have any advice on how I can approach this with as much respect as possible, but with confidence so I'm heard?

You are very right about my husband's stress and getting him comfortable. I advised him to speak with his physician about how he's feeling; I worry about depression from our discussions together about life and goals. Hopefully, we can come to a solution we can both be happy with.

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