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Discussion

When Your Loved One is Admitted

As I write this, I'm sitting beside my mother in a general med/surg room. She fell...again...this time breaking her left hip and left wrist. Nurses have buzzed in and out all morning, her surgery time is maybe 1200, maybe 1400, depending on who we ask. Even the admitting doctor has yet to collaborate with the orthopedic surgeon.

Here's the thing; I work in the ICU at this hospital. Her admitting MD is fantastic. Her surgeon is one of the best we have. I've been nothing but impressed with the nurses and techs she has had thus far. Even the house supervisor came and took care of her when nursing staff was busy with codes and admissons, and my own unit's manager is scrambling as I type this to readjust my schedule this week to spend more time with my mom.

It is the BEST case scenario and we are very fortunate for that. But I'm terrified to leave her alone. She's alert and oriented, on pain medicine that makes her drowsy but still cognizant. I just feel like I know too much behind-the-scenes to not stay and.advocate for her if/when necessary.

I'm just wondering...how do you, as a nurse, feel when you're suddenly at the bedside of a loved one?

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    I actually took time off to stay with a loved on who was hospitalized. It was less than a week and I struggled with the decision to call work to tell them I'm taking a few days off but some members of our team I spoke with reassured me that it's OK to leave work to attend to my family. Our union actually has provisions for that anyway and I did check in with them too.

    We weren't admitted at a hospital I work for but from the time we were in the ED, I remember a senior nurse say something to me that struck me, she said that they are a great hospital but just like anywehere else, people get busy and things get dropped, missed, and forgotten. She said that it's great that I'm an NP so that I would be more aware of things and would be a better advocate for my loved one. So I stuck with the decision to be there for the hospitalization.

    Your circumstances might be different, however.

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    Thank you, Juan! You echoed my concerns, so I'm glad I'm not overbearing. Last year, a different loved one was in the hospital and I caught a few errors (albeit small and probably would have gone unnoticed). Even this morning, my mom was complaining that the nurse hadn't been in with her pain meds, and no one explained that it's PRN and she needs to ask so it isn't forgotten. She's a lot more comfortable now that she's getting it regularly.

    I hope your loved one is doing well! Thank you for your response.

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    I am so sorry for your Mom and you, i know this is a difficult situation. On the one hand it is harder for you bc you know everything that can possibly go bad, on the other hand it is good bc you can be there to watch for that. I have been in your situation and do agree that it is best to stay as much as possible bc we do know that nurses are over worked and spread thin. You are in a good place/situation bc working at the hospital gives your Mom that extra attention that she would not get else where. I have been in that situation without that and it would definitely perfer your situation. Hope the surgery and rehab go well!!

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    My heart goes to out to those poor unfortunate souls who don't have any family/friends to help them navigate the confusing and uncertain world of inpatient hospitalization. I have spent many, many years working in various hospitals and knowing what I know, would be beyond scared if I, God forbid, was a patient! Not being facetious, but the new norm of staffing in hospitals today is relatively new grads with minimal, minimal experience. Not to bang on them as they are struggling themselves and don't know what they don't know but they really are just flying by the seats of their pants and praying that nothing goes sideways!

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    20 minutes ago, Kyla Marie said:

    Thank you, Juan! You echoed my concerns, so I'm glad I'm not overbearing. Last year, a different loved one was in the hospital and I caught a few errors (albeit small and probably would have gone unnoticed). Even this morning, my mom was complaining that the nurse hadn't been in with her pain meds, and no one explained that it's PRN and she needs to ask so it isn't forgotten. She's a lot more comfortable now that she's getting it regularly.

    I hope your loved one is doing well! Thank you for your response.

    This event happened last year and we have recovered nicely since. I did catch some errors as well during our stay. I also realized how bad staffing is in that particular hospital...of course this is California where ratios are the norm yet, we had a different nurse for each 8-hour shift for the 5 days we were there and they were mostly agency and traveling nurses. It didn't help with consistency and knowing well what my family member's reason for admission was and what our needs were. I think that's where the errors stemmed from

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    Sorry to hear that this happened to your mom. We have personal time off to use for a reason - situations like this. I couldn’t work if this has happened to my family - knowing everything that happens behind the scenes. And even if I do work I would be so distracted wanting to be somewhere else I might compromise patient safety

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