When is it time to make the best decision for youself?

Please seek help sooner rather than later. If your facility offers EAP take advantage of it. See about FMLA to take care of yourself

I agree about the EAP part but you've answered your own questions: you need to move closer to your church and family. You have no obligations where you are living now so why are you waiting? Start applying for jobs closer to where you want to be and go. If you don't have to wait for a job then all the better. If you are renting and concerned about a deposit talk to the landlord about working something out to get out of your lease early - just go home. It's what you obviously need and want to do. Good luck

Get more sleep. There are tons of threads on here about darkening the room, etc things to help you sleep. Even of you are working 12's there is no reason not to sleep 8 hours. See a doctor if you can't sleep, maybe they can prescribe something.

Go home. Stay with family and alternate job hunting with resting. Why put yourself through any more of the misery? Health comes first. I can relate to your feelings. I'm moving home in two months after being 3,000 miles away for 3 years. If you're single with nothing tying you down I don't see any sense in continuing with the unhappiness.

Thank you guys. truth is I KNOW what I MUST do

I guess ive always had a plan b in life, and this case, I cant have it that way.

and I am just nervous.

Have any of you feared the unknown but took the leap anyway. ?

alot of similarities to me. a lot. do you work 8s or 12s? can you do 3 12s? That makes a huge difference to me. can you go to dAys? sleep isnt that much if an issue for me, so little advice there. as for working out 5/7days.. wow! I definitely slack on that. I am not religious so driving a 1.5 each way to church seems like a huge endeavor to me after working all night!

lack of culture, no friends or family after relocating to middle of no where, will not get better... this can easily go on forever. I dislike the idea of socializing with coworkers outside of work but.... is there anyone your age on your unit? what about at church?

if it is a teaching hospital, many residents are in your age group, what do they do on weekends off?

as for leap of faiths.... i don't like making them so i rarely do, that means things stay the same.... which can be a bad thing....... what about applying to facilities closer to where your from?

NYC requires 2 years-3 years exp. I have about 5 more months to make 2 years, not sure if Id be alive by that time seriously. With the way I feel now. The young people here either do drugs or like going to the bar. Im not a bar club hopping person. all I need is a significant other, and im set, but that's even hard to find with the culture lack where I am, the schedule I work, the way they live here is copmpletely opposite of me. everything has become opposite. it's difficult, ill continue applying and hoping I can leave sooner than later. im dying slowly I know it.

"To thine own self be true, and it must follow as the night, the day, thou canst not then be false to any man". WM Shakespeare.

I agree completely with this. Nursing is emotionally and physically draining and in order to give our patients our best, we need to first take care of ourselves. First you MUST address the sleep issue. I have alternated working nights and days (12 hour shifts). I prefer nights for the work side of things, but its hard to have a social life. I agree with all the above posts - some very good advice.

Another thought. Nursing isn't for everyone. I've walked away from it several times only to come back to it because that's where I'm supposed to be. Since you mentioned church, I will share a few things I've learned. First, church is any body of believers and I've had some awesome church experiences at patients' bedsides with them and their families. If you are missing the social side of church, see if there are any organizations for things you are interested in in your area. I rely heavily on the internet at the moment as I am doing travel nursing. The internet and my sheltie dog, Mac lol!

Get out the Word. I have to remind myself that God can't speak to me if I don't read His Word. I have taken so many leaps of faith in my life, that when I'm not doing that it feels strange. Life, ultimately, is an adventure of learning who we are and who God is and how all that fits together. It takes our whole lifetime. Jesus frequently said to His followers, "Fear not". Fear is what our adversary uses against us. It keeps us from exploring who we are and who He is. It keeps us from making our journey of faith - of learning what faith is and how to become faithful.

God bless you.